Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
re: Sex Drives out of sync and hubby won't have sex while I have my period
Hey, looking for some support out there, My hubby and I have been married for almost 3 years. We've know each other for over 15. I have a high sex drive he's happy if we have sex once or twice a week. He won't touch me when I have my period. I'm feeling more and more rejected and frustrated. We've been trying to figure it out in counseling for over a year. Doc. did complete physical and all is fine. He thinks sex ruins relationships. I am so confused!! Anybody have any advice out there?!!
Re: re: Sex Drives out of sync and hubby won't have sex while I have my period
You've been in counseling for a year and have no insights into his low sex drive? It seems that he just has a low sex drive and it has absolutely nothing to do with you. As far as him not touching you when you have your period, I think a lot of men usually put the kybosh on intercourse during this time.
Have you invested in some toys? How did you handle this when you were dating? Clearly, this didn't just happen overnight. And finally, what's your counselor have to say about all this?
Don't worry, I'm working on it.
Get it on!
Well, the counselor thinks there is some stuff going on emotionally for him that has nothing to do with me. When we were dating I just kinda' dealt with it and thought I could accept it. But, as time has gone by it's getting harder and harder to accept, which makes me feel like a selfish person. As for the no sex during the period thing, my first husband was like that too but we had sex frequently before and after so it didn't bother me as much. With my huby now if we have a bad week and only have sex once at the beginning of a week and then I get my period we can sometimes go almost 12 days between having sex, which frankly is too long for me. Yes, I have toys but frankly it's not the same and is okay but not at all what I want to be doing instead ofhaving sex with him!
I had an ex who believed that if he had sex too often he would get sick of it...sometimes people have weird concepts of what physical relationships are about.
Hope that you guys figure out a way to make you BOTH feel sexually & emotionally fulfilled. A lot of the time, for me anyways, it's not about the actual sex but how close I feel to him emotionally when we are physical.
From experience I know what it feels like to be more sexual than your partner
*hugs* I hope you guys work it out...maybe working through this will make you a strong er couple in the end. Best of luck!!
He doesn't like the idea of sex during your menses. Nothing you can do about it.
And same goes for your differing sex drives: you'll have to accept things as they are. Nothing you can do about it.
Once or twice a week is fine.
Think about this if it were the other way around. You'd hate to be nagged on and forced into something that you didn't feel up to. I have a lower sex drive and my husband has a high sex drive. He could do it twice a day if he had his way, but I just can't. It has nothing to do with your relationship and counselling won't do anything unless there is some underlying reason he doesn't like sex (which is possible but still nothing to do with you). But if low sex drive is the only problem, then you have to accept that or you will be forever frustrated. If he won't work on you, work on yourself and soon he'll realize that he wants a part of that.
Also, I think it's gross (sorry for childish word) to have sex while on my period. That shouldn't be anything you are mad about. Everyone is different I know people that do it and that's fine but it's something I'd NEVER do. Have you ever thought that maybe you are the one with the problem? You love sex so much you want to have sex while you are bleeding and you feel rejected when he doesn't?
Best thing you can do is just keep the doors of communication open- never let that door shut ever.