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wedding ettiquette question

Is there a time limit to when you can have a wedding?  (I asked about this a while back, but this is a different situation)

The couple has been living together for several years and they have two kids - ages 3 years and 2 years.  They are planning a big white wedding for the fall.  

Are they entitled to a big white wedding?  Or does it seem kinda unusual?

I realize this may be pretty hypocritical of me to even ask, considering I had my 5 yr old son walk me down the aisle of my own wedding.  But in my defense, DH and I had only been dating for a year or so :)

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Re: wedding ettiquette question

  • i don't think there's ever a time limit for a wedding, especially a first wedding.  my DH and I dated for 7 years before we got engaged, and lived together for 3 or 4 of those years.  do you think we shouldn't have had a wedding?  

    every once in a while we have a poll for how long your engagement was, and a good % of us dated for more than 5 years...

    i guess i could maybe see a case for a big white wedding for 60 year olds that have been 'dating' for 30+ years, but even then, if they want to pay for a party, who am i to stop them?

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  • imageMrs.Purdue:

    i don't think there's ever a time limit for a wedding, especially a first wedding.  my DH and I dated for 7 years before we got engaged, and lived together for 3 or 4 of those years.  do you think we shouldn't have had a wedding? 

    Of course, I'm with you.  Anyone can have a wedding that wants one.

    I don't personally know many couples that bought a house together and had several kids first, then had the big wedding.  Nothing wrong with it, I just wondered if it was more common that I thought. 

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  • Ditto Purdue.  To each their own.  It's not like they're getting wedding gifts a second time.  They just want everyone to (finally) celebrate their union with them.
  • Ditto PP. I don't think it's anyone's place to tell someone they shouldn't be having a wedding. I'm sure their registry would look a little different than people who haven't lived together, etc., but who are we to say they shouldn't?  Like pp, DH and I dated for 10 years and lived together for 2 before we got married. No one thought our wedding was out of place.
    We have so much time, and so little to do! Strike that, reverse it.
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  • if they had gotten married at the JP or something before having kids and now suddenly decided to have a big wedding i'd be a little confused. but if they're just now actually getting married, i don't think it matters that they were living together and had kids already
  • imageali-1411:

    Are they entitled to a big white wedding?  Or does it seem kinda unusual?

    I don't see why they aren't entitled to a wedding.   It does not seem unusual to me.

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  • imageflymansWife:
    if they had gotten married at the JP or something before having kids and now suddenly decided to have a big wedding i'd be a little confused. but if they're just now actually getting married, i don't think it matters that they were living together and had kids already

     

    Ditto. It's a bit unusual, but yay for them.  

  • Eh, don't question it.  Just joyously and sincerely celebrate their happiness and the success of their relationship with them.  Party on, with love.  
  • Ditto pp.  I even think if they had been married (JP or otherwise) and now have the money/desire to celebrate then that's okay, too. 

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  • I think it's ok, what I don't get it's big party for vow renewal like what Ramona had in Real Housewives of NYC.
  • imageTX-Bride:
    I think it's ok, what I don't get it's big party for vow renewal like what Ramona had in Real Housewives of NYC.

    Ditto.  She's such a creep, lol.

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