Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Can I smack my sister?? Puh-lease!!
I have a 17 year old nephew who just graduated from high school and is starting community college (even though DH and I offered to pay application fees and to let him stay with us if he applied to and went to a 4 year college). He would qualify for financial aid up the wazoo since my sister is on unemployment. My sister talked my nephew into going to community college (not knocking a JC, but just saying, my nephew could have gone right to a 4 year). I've been worried about my sister's loser-ness rubbing off on him.
So today I'm over at my mom's house. My 40 year old sister STILL lives at home with my nephew and does nothing all day long. I had talked to my nephew last week and asked him how many classes he was taking in the fall. He said 3. I told him unacceptable, he needed to have a full load, or he would be in college forever. So he added some other classes to take. (Oh and my nephew doesn't drive yet, so he has to rely on my sister to take him to college when he starts in the fall). So today he's picking out the rest of his classes and I asked him when he is registering. He said he could register now, but my sister won't let him because his financial aid hasn't come through (he just filled out the fafsa last week, so it will be awhile). I told him and my mom told him he needs to register NOW and not wait or there will be no classes available. I told him to go get my credit card and I would pay for it until he got his financial aid if he needed to pay today, but because colleges are so impacted, he needs to not wait to register. He went and told his mom that he was going to register. She came out of her room and argued with me that his financial aid hasn't come through yet. I said I WILL PAY FOR IT and my mom said she would pay for books if he needed them and still hadn't received any aid.
My sister then proceeded to b!tch about my nephew picking "early morning classes" (They start at 8:30 am) and said he should only take classes 2 days a week and not 4. She then b!tched that "when" she gets a job he'll have to take the bus to school. My mom and nephew both said "so what?" Mind you my sister has been unemployed for about a year and a half and complains about migranes from an accident she was in two years ago as the reason she can't work. I'm pretty sure you're not going back to work anytime soon, sis.
Then my mom and I told him to pick back up classes just in case the ones he picked are full. My sister chimed in and said "Well his counselor laid out a plan for him for the next 4 semesters in order for him to transfer and he needs to follow it." I said no he doesn't. If the class he needs is full, look at the next semester his counselor laid out and pick somethiing from there. My sister kept insisting he take classes as it was laid out and said he would be better off taking less classes and less units then not following the plan. Mind you, I pointed out that he has 60 units to take. I'm sure he can pull from another semester, if need be. We ended up yelling at each other over this. WTF!?! I have a MASTER'S degree. My sister barely made it out of high school because she was too busy chasing boys around. Really? You're going to challenge me on this!?! My mom even piped in to say when she was in college 30 years ago, that was how things were done (the way I suggested). So flipping annoying. My nephew better not end up a loser like my sister or I'm going to lose it.
Thanks for letting me vent! Mojitos, martinis and chocolate if you made it through this!
Re: Can I smack my sister?? Puh-lease!!
Ugh! What's her problem?! I completely understand on the whole trying to get your nephew on a better path. I feel your frustration seeing a situation they're in that could be better... if only your sibling would make an effort.
Ask your nephew what he wants, and help him get there. If his mom has an issue, oh well, it's his life. You say he has the option of a bus to classes? Then he doesn't need to rely on her! I do hope your help sticks on he gets on a good route.
Why aren't you smacking your nephew? If he knew he wanted to start school - CC or not why didn't he pick up a part time job? Or find out when his FAFSA should have been submitted, look into Scholarships or something while he was still a senior.
The kid is 17 not 5. You guys offered to pay his app fees and give him a place if he did what y'all want... but why not offer other guidance.
Yes, while we want the best for our family members, this is not your battle to fight. Give your opinion because of course we all do..but don't get all in a tizzy when they do things another way.
IMO of course.
Yeah, that's what DH said. But my sister has coddled my nephew his entire life and he needs his hand held every step of the way or he won't know how to do things on his own. When I gave him money to take the SAT, I had to get on the phone with him and walk him through how to sign up for the SAT and he STILL missed the deadline. My nephew is just the type of kid that needs to have someone standing over him and telling him what he needs to do. He's a really good kid, but if i'm not prodding him, he just lets things slide by. I'm just worried he will get to the point where he realizes a year has passed him by and he has nothing to show for it. I think once he gets into the swing of things at college he will be fine. But the common sense gene must have been passed out when he was socializing. He just doesn't get it sometimes. He's also applied for jobs, but he's just now applying, because his mom wouldn't let him work while he was in high school so he could focus on band and keeping his grades up.
He's also developmentally a little immature. He was born premature and should have not started school until he was five, but somehow he slid by and was able to enroll at 4. I really think he is behind a year or two in that area. I also need to stop making excuses for him. It just sucks to see a kid who is brilliant and has such potential throw his life away because he has a crappy mother that can't be bothered to support and motivate him.
It's too bad he didn't end up in a 4 year college, and living AWAY from home. I think that part of college is growing up and learning how to live on your own (and be independent).
My blog
Married bio
I agree with Jenth!