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Moms of young kids, 1-3 years.
I have a question for my sister. Her son is 1 and he has recently started hitting. He thinks it's a game. She tried telling him "no," and she even resorted to a swat on the butt, but now he just thinks that is part of the game and he now swats her on the butt.
Any suggestions for correcting his behavior in a way he will comprehend?
TIA.
Re: Moms of young kids, 1-3 years.
Hmmmm, has she said NO in a very stern, different type of voice than normal?? Davis always responds to NO, but I have to say it in my exorcist voice, he listens when I say it like that. Typically I break out the exorcist voice, it is different, very loud and I point my finger and give him the look.
Otherwise, I've got nothing. I think kids comprehend a lot at young ages, but they do not comprehend 100%. It is hard to tell a 1 year old why hitting is not nice because they are not going to get it at all. They barely talk themselves. I cannot wait until Davis is truly old enough to really understand more than just NO, you cannot reason with a 1 year old so that makes it really hard when your trying to correct a possible bad behavior.
I think your sister needs to try a different way of saying NO if she hasn't already and just keep at it, he will eventually figure out what No means. It took Davis a while, we'd just keep at it. If she sees him going to hit has she tried grabbing his arm and say NO???
Our baby girl!!
When J went through a phase where he would slap me I would grab his hand and say "no, we don't hit" and leave it at that. I don't think hitting a child for hitting helps anything, it seems like a contradiction to me.
Would she laugh at all when he would hit her, that may be why he thinks it's a game. How many months is he? She could try time outs but you really have to follow through with it and be sick. J is 17 months and I don't feel like he is quite old enough for time outs to work yet.
I agree with hound on time outs - they are too young to understand. We have tried lightly spanking Davis and it is also worthless, he thinks it is a game and funny. So we don't even do that anymore The best thing that works for us is the very stern "No" but you have to be consistent and not laugh at them at all even if you think for a moment whatever they are doing is slightly funny because they totally get when you laugh and do it again and again for your reaction.
You should see Davis when I pull out the exorcist "no" voice. ROFL. He totally stops whatever he is doing wrong, he usually gives me this "uh oh" type look and goes running away from whatever he was doing. It took a while of consistency but he gets it now.
If I say no in my normal voice he doesn't get it. I have to get loud and change my tone for him to realize that I really mean, No, don't do it.
Good luck to her though, it can be so frustrating when they are at this age where they cannot comprehend certain things.
I definitely agree if he is closer to one, he will not understand the time out idea. However, if he is closer to two (say, around 22 months or so, but still technically one), he may understand a crib time out. I know C's cousin went through something similar with her son when he was about 22 months old, and she used time out then. The stern no is definitely needed though.
Our baby girl!!
I totally agree. Unfortunately, he litterally just turned one last Friday--two days after his little sister entered the world. I really think that has a lot to do with the issues she's having with him.
He's probably definitely responding to the new baby, so she might want to address that with him. A neat idea might be to get him a small gift "from" the baby for her brother. I've read, but of course have no idea what I'll face, that you should address the needs of the older child first if the newborn is ok (ie: fed, changed, etc.)
As for time-outs, Alex was getting them at 1 year for only about a minute, but not in his crib, just b/c that is a safe place I don't want him to fear. He would CIO a little but calmed down. I would just make sure he was on the floor and couldn't hurt himself and left the room (around the other wall). I'm not against swatting/spanking, but we've never had to do it. I guess we use the Nanny 911 approach...time out for at least 2 mins (now) and he needs to be calmed down, plus we very simply explain why he's in it. "You don't hit". Sometimes he gets himself worked up by crying/drama fit, but I'll go in with a washcloth and a drink for him. I'll wipe his face and tell him to calm down. He never ever is upset for more than 5 min. Consistency is the key...and leaving the room IMO.
Thanks. I will share this with her. I really think--if done just right--he might respond to a time out.
I can't imagine my 1 year old even understanding a time out.
I am sure it's because of the new baby and it's his call out for attention. I wouldn't "swat" him on the butt for that. That is not making him understand that hitting is bad when she in a sense is "hitting" him back.
Abby literally just started hitting the past week. All I do is tell her no hitting. Eventually she gets sick of it and realizes she isn't getting any response from anyone. If for example she starts to hit me I usually intercept her and tell her no hitting. If she hits Addison and I can't get there fast enough then I will say no hitting and gently move her hand away.
Depends on the age.
For Carly who just turned 1, she likes to hit in the face. I pull her hand off my face or stop her hand in motion and say NO with a very stern voice and say that is not nice. And basically just keep redirecting her.
Now for Braelyn who is a little older I usually do a time out or stand in the corner or if that isn't working then I would take something away from her like (extra snack, favorite toy, swimming, etc).
Yea if he is one I wouldn't do time-out. Carly just turned one and would not get time out. Saying NO in a very stern, I mean very stern voice, always works for her.
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