Sex & Romance
karagirly
member
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
how abnormal is this?????
I NEVER want to have sex with my husband. He is gorgeous! I mean really hot....When we do do it its AMAZING! The best ive ever had and thought i never got around, i have enough experience to know. So WHY WHY WHY to always say to myself (tomorrow night) and put it off...We go MONTHS without it. The other thing is im so lucky cause he would rather get off on his own then to ever consider cheating. He is VERY much against fidelity. So am i but he is so much against it that if anyone of us would ever do it it would probably be me! Of course i wouldnt but just saying. How abnormal is this and what can i do? I think the biggest thing for me is we have been together for 12 years and it seems weird when we start to kiss to get into it....It kinda bugs me out or weirds me out. Almost like he knows me too wel or i just know to much about him. Isnt that nuts?
Re: how abnormal is this?????
First of all...I think you mean " he is very much against INFIDELITY" or at least I hope this is what you meant.
It feels weird to kiss him? what? explain.
Have you talked to your doctor about your sex drive?
If you have and it's fine then I just wonder why you don't just put more of an effort into it? If you like sex once it's started why not just step up to the plate and work for it? Just do it. It kinda sounds like you're just lazy to be honest.
Hi Kara! I'm was reading your post, and I wanted to ask if the kissing has always been an issue. I remember with my ex-husband that we defintiely had that "routine kissing thing". Sadly, he an I never worked it out - we just kind of worked around it - but I have friends who had similar feelings and were able to work on the kissing part to improve it. I know for myself, if the kissing feels routine or boring, I have a really hard time getting in the mood. Perhaps you could try to "guide" your kisses to feel more passionate?
When you kiss, does he generally initiate and sort of lead the kiss? I'm wondering if perhaps switching that role could help?
As far as your low sex drive goes, I would definitely say that ou are not abnormal. We are all different. For sure, talk to your doctor. There can be many causes for low sex drive. And if it's not something physical, perhaps taking inventory of your sexual experiences with him - the times it's been hot, the time it's been dull, if it's ever been painful, etc - could help you to discover if there is something that is missing that could be improved.
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its not abnormal! I love having sex with my husband and I love him and he is hot..... BUT sometimes it takes some convincing to myself to have sex. Have you ever just decided to do it and realized that you get into it once you do it? Or do you just hate it? Sometimes I am just lazy and want to sleep instead lol.
And as far as infidelity, its harsh but he will find it somewhere else. It could start with himself, but do you really want him wacking off to a computer screen when you are in the next bedroom?? Be hot for your man and your marriage will thank you
Are you on birth control? I was on a certain birth control for a while and I seriously lost all my sex drive. I was mentally wanting to...sorta...but my body was not ready at all. I just was not turned on, I was bored, everything! Maybe go to your doctor about getting off your birth control for a little bit cause that is what helped me.
If you aren't on birth control, maybe sex therapy? Also a book called "Sheet Music" helped our sex life quite a bit.
Good luck!