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Confront being thrown under the bus?

I'm a freelance graphic designer. I work mostly from home, but as an attempt to get some more contacts at the start of my career and to curb my cabin fever, I work at a local graphic design/print shop a few hours a week. I am the only one that works there besides my boss, and we haven't ever really had any problems.

My brother in law needed some work done, and because he has a hard time getting ahold of my boss, emailed me an example of what he wanted done. I immediately contacted my boss with his information and emailed him a copy of the email that was sent to me, with an attached image. He responded and acknowledged that he got the email and saw the image. BIL also came in and filled out a work form. This was about a month ago. Since this happened, I mentioned it each time I came into work just as a reminder. (My boss takes on a lot of work, and has been known to forget a project here and there.) BIL wanted something that involved vinyl cutting and letter application - something that I don't do. I just design on the computer.

Last week, he didn't call me into work at all. After trying to contact him, I heard halfway through the week that his kids were sick and he would be out of the office thursday and friday.

Last week was the week that my BIL's work was due, and my boss completely forgot about it. I was at a family bbq today, and BIL said that when he came in, my boss told him that it was my job and that I was supposed to do it. He also mentioned that I had the image and that he never saw it. He said to come back in an hour, and when he did, it was completely not what BIL wanted, but there was a deadline and he paid for it anyway because he needed it. My boss again apologized and said it was my fault it didn't get done this week. Um, kindof hard to do when I'm not even there that week, and when I don't do that type of work to begin with. 

I really believe that I took ALL of the precautions necessary to make sure BIL got his job done on time. I don't know what else I could have possibly done, and I thought I handled it professionally.

Should I say something to him about this? I am beyond miffed about it, and it makes me wonder if he uses this excuse when I'm not in the shop and he doesn't finish a job. If I say something, I'm not sure what it is I should say. I don't want him thinking that I'm a hypocrite by talking about him outside of work, but my BIL brought it up to me today and told me that because of the way he handled it, he won't be taking his business there again.

 

I might DD this after a day or so. Any advice would be great! TIA 

Re: Confront being thrown under the bus?

  • Wow, that's a lot longer than I thought it would be. Sorry about that.
  • I wouldn't mention to your boss. Any further discussion of it will just result in the blame game.
  • The only way that this will stop is if you address the problem. I wouldn't want my good name smeared either, especially since you work as a freelancer! These are potential clients of your that he's making you look bad in front of.

  • "Boss, I spoke with my BIL and he said he came away with the impression that the project was my responsibility, and that I failed to get the job done on time.  Was this just his misunderstanding, or do you have expectations for me in general that are not being met?"

    This will put your boss on notice that his throwing you under the bus got back to you and you're not going to tolerate it, and will also open up a dialogue to hopefully keep this from happening again.  However, I would discreetly start looking for other job options - and if it happens again I would definitely exercise them.
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • imagevanillacourage:
    "Boss, I spoke with my BIL and he said he came away with the impression that the project was my responsibility, and that I failed to get the job done on time.  Was this just his misunderstanding, or do you have expectations for me in general that are not being met?"

    This will put your boss on notice that his throwing you under the bus got back to you and you're not going to tolerate it, and will also open up a dialogue to hopefully keep this from happening again.  However, I would discreetly start looking for other job options - and if it happens again I would definitely exercise them.

    This.  This is perfect.  Definitely don't just ignore it.

    When people are the most unlovable is usually when they need it the most.
    Steps on My Spiritual Journey
  • Thanks everyone. I sat on it last night, and DH thinks I should say something as well. VanillaCourage, I like what you wrote and will phrase it along those lines. I don't want to play the blame game, but I want him to know that it was brought to my attention and that I'm not okay with it. Thanks again for your suggestions.
  • One thing I do - when I find there's a weak link in the communication chain, I try to copy someone else so there's not a "he said, she said" after the fact. In this case, I might have copied the client (your BIL) on the e-mail to the boss with the image. Not in a passive-aggressive way, of course, because that just looks immature. But it keeps the client informed and involved in the process - they know you've passed the information on, and they know it was correct at that point - so you don't get to the point a month later where your boss is able to throw you under the bus.
  • I could not agree more with vanillacourage's recommended approach.  Smart and strategic.    

    A wise man once told me that what a boss wants from employees is not just that they do their jobs, but that they do his/her job as well -- not everything, just the part where he/she is supposed to be managing you.  So for instance, when you have a question for the boss, you ask the question but propose at least two well-thought-out answers/solutions.   You let the boss think he/she's making good decisions by doing the work ahead of time (this helps you get the boss to decide things the way you want them decided, too).   In this case, you could have reminded the boss about BIL's job, but at the same time offered to do some part of the work ("I'll put X together and check with so-and-so to see if they can fit it in, if you like.")  Some bosses resent this, though, so you have to be careful.

    Having said all that, I really think you should look for another job, unless you think this incident was a total fluke of some kind. You shouldn't have to worry about your boss making you look bad to clients and spend a lot of time strategizing around that.     Good luck

  • imageJulia_JJ:
    One thing I do - when I find there's a weak link in the communication chain, I try to copy someone else so there's not a "he said, she said" after the fact. In this case, I might have copied the client (your BIL) on the e-mail to the boss with the image. Not in a passive-aggressive way, of course, because that just looks immature. But it keeps the client informed and involved in the process - they know you've passed the information on, and they know it was correct at that point - so you don't get to the point a month later where your boss is able to throw you under the bus.

     This is a great idea for future if you continue to work there.

    I once had a boss who constantly threw me under the bus when he spoke with clients.  I always heard "well, that girl that works in the front office is so (fill in the blank) unorganized...lazy...clueless..." whenever something didn't get done, even if the task had nothing to do with me or I had already done my part.  Eventually, when I would work on his projects I would make copies of everything (letters, change orders, faxes, etc) and put it in the work file.  When the client would get the correspondence it was date stamped and signed off by me making it very clear when and who had done the work.  The next time boss tried his little tactic, he was completely embarassed when client responded, "No, it wasn't her, all her stuff is right here with her name on it, I'm still waiting on you."

    image
  • The only thing I think you Should have done differently is give the BIL a heads up that he may want to look elsewhere. You should have told your BIL "Thanks for wanting to give my company business, but it seems like right now we are so swamped I don't think it will get done." That way your BIL couldn't hold it against you if thw work wasnt' done, and you boss couldn't blame you like he did. Talk to your boss and ask him how you were suppose to do the job when you don't do that kind of work. Then decide if staying is best or not. Good Luck!
    cr BFP- Nov 4, 2010 MC- 12-13-10 you will be missed little one BFP- 2/16/2012 MC- 3/29/2012 another angel in heaven
  • that is so hot! wish i'd thought of that before i lost my last office job due to a coworker pulling those exact same stunts!
  • Did the boss know the client he badmouthed you to was your BIL?  I just don't understand how someone could badmouth you to a relative and think it wouldn't get back to you.

    I like vanillacourage's idea.  At the same time, though, I'd look for a new job.  This is the best situation you could hope for--you actually got to hear what was said.  If your boss would say this in front of YOUR FAMILY, he is not going to get better even after you call him on it.

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