May 2010 Weddings
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What to do?

We recently got one of our wedding gifts, and I just don't know what to do with it. The biggest problem is that it is broken. It is a frame with a blessing inside and everytime you move the frame the blessing moves around. 

 The main issue is that this was most definitely a re-gift from his wedding. He also re-gifted at our engagement party. It's really disappointing because it was from one of my best friends who I have known since high school, but after college he and I were actually pretty attached at the hip for a couple of years. (We even had a plan that if we never married we would buy a big house together and have kids, haha) I know for a fact that they are in no way hurting for money.

As for this broken gift, would you:

a) just send a thank you card,  

or 

b) call him out on it by sending him an email saying that we liked it, but that it broke in shipping so we wanted to know who to get in touch with to get a good one 

We are planning on donating it to a temple either way, but I am so pissed about how cheap and ridiculous they are being (sending us their wedding gifts that they didnt way) that I holding myself back at this time by calling him out on it 

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Re: What to do?

  • The nice part of me says to just send a thank you.  But the b!tchy part of me says to ask where it came from under the guise of getting a new one.  Right now I'm feeling kind of b!tchy (thank you AF) so I'm leaning more towards call him out on it.
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  • Honestly, I would just send the thank-you.  A gift is a gift, no matter how crappy you may think it is.  Especially since you're not planning on keeping it anyway, just be the bigger person and don't call him out on it.
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  • I would probably just send a thank you.
  • Thanks you guys.. I keep saying I want to e-mail him, but I chicken out. I'll just send a thank you card, but I definitely won't forget it. He's definitely not gonna be one of the first ones I all when I go back home next. 
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  • I would just send a thank you. Even if it is a re-gift, I wouldn't want to insult him, especially if you were that close to him at one point.
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  • I got a few gifts from one of my guests which were obviously re-gifts from when he was married (before I met him even, years ago!).  But they don't have alot of money, so I really wasn't insulted by it.  It was the thought that counted.  If you can't fix the gift, that's too bad, but send a thank you card.  You don't know if he couldn't have afforded anything else.....
  • It sounds like you wouldn't really like the gift even if it wasn't a regift and would be donating it to a temple anyway. So why bother making a fuss about it? 

     He sent you a gift, of course you send a thank you. 

  • imageMimi63:
    I'll just send a thank you card, but I definitely won't forget it. He's definitely not gonna be one of the first ones I all when I go back home next. 

    Sounds like the best plan all around. 

  • I agree with Buckeye, my first thought is to send a thank you and be done with it but the snotty part of me would tell him it's broken so he has an awkward moment of having to make something up - just to teach him a lesson.
  • just a thank you..... it totally sucks, but being a brat about it won't change anything unfortunately
  • Hmmm...see, I think that you could do both.  Send a thank you, obviously, because it is a gift and you just LOOOOVE it (honestly, isn't it painful to kiss ass about a terrible gift.  I am in thank you note writing hell right now...) but you could also send an email mentioning that it was damaged in shipping, and since you looooove it so much (and how thoughtful he was for picking it out for you!!)  you would love to know where you can bring it to exchange it for an unbroken one. 

    I say this because if any of our gifts had come broken, I would have definitely asked where it came from so I could get a new one.  Especially since you say he's a really close friend...I wouldn't have a problem saying to a close friend "I love the toaster you gave me, but it doesn't toast anything!  There must be something wrong with the wiring.  Can you tell me where you got it so I can exchange it for another one?"  So, since this legitimately came to you in less than perfect condition, I think you have every right to mention that to him! 

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  • imagejehawley:

    Hmmm...see, I think that you could do both.  Send a thank you, obviously, because it is a gift and you just LOOOOVE it (honestly, isn't it painful to kiss ass about a terrible gift.  I am in thank you note writing hell right now...) but you could also send an email mentioning that it was damaged in shipping, and since you looooove it so much (and how thoughtful he was for picking it out for you!!)  you would love to know where you can bring it to exchange it for an unbroken one. 

     

     haha... that is where my original thinking was. Of course I would send a thank you card no matter what, but I also was curious to see what happened if I asked him who I should talk to about it being broken. 

     For those of you who asked, I know for a fact that money is not an issue for all for them. That doesn't mean I need a huge expensive gift, but this gift is not the thought that counts because all it was was them getting rid of something that they didn't like, not thinking that it was something that I would like.  

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  • Send a thank you and move on! I would just let it go. Harboring ill feelings isn't good for either of you. I would say though that it is obvious that his other half probibly is the one that decides on gifts. I know thats the way it works in my house. You are not as valued to her and she may be even a little jealous of your relationship of the past. So just keep on rolling along donate the gift to the temple as you suggested. Men will tend to say ok sure thats fine just to quite a woman from biatching so...

    Thank you note and enjoy that you are secure in your relationship and she must have some worries and dance off into the sunset with your darling hubby!!!!

  • No one is required to give you a gift in the first place. Maybe they thought you would like it? Maybe there is some reason they gave it to you other than they are cheap? How do you know their financial situation, are you their personal accountant?
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