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arggh, now with update
UPDATE:
My mom was also concerned so she sent my cousin a message on FB, asking her what did happen. My cousin said she and her fiance were play-wrestling outside, fully clothed, and that her neighbour always sticks his nose in other people's business. My mom responded that she was glad to hear that, but that my cousin might want to consider not posting these things to her FB wall because it might be giving people a bad impression about her fiance. She also told my cousin these types of events could have a negative impact on her fiance's career. My cousin responded that she's not in high school anymore and so she doesn't care what people think and anyone who really cared about her would know her well enough to not worry about her. I think we got told. 
So my cousin (age 18, turning 19 next month) got engaged at Christmas to a guy in the military. They just moved across the country because he got stationed in Ontario. She has been dating him for like a year and a half, and much of that time he was across the country for training and such. They were only dating 8 months when they got engaged.
She always posts weird things on FB- "He just punched me in the face and gave me a black eye", "Just kicked me", etc. But it's clear from her follow up posts that they were roughhousing, he tripped over her, whatever- innocent things. However, my husband and I have always been skeeved out by her posts because they are SO frequent, and I understand accidents happen (once or twice over the 9 years we've been together I've joked that my husband hit me, after an accident), but we told ourselves if she was really being abused she wouldnt advertise it on FB.
There are old Halloween pics of him holding a knife to her throat... apparently she thought it was funny, too
He came to my parents house in the middle of their long drive out east with a truck full of guns he wasn't allowed to ship with the rest of their possessions
Latest post: military police called because a neighbour apparently saw him drag her out of the car, kicking and screaming, by her hair. Military police show up, interview them separately, but leave with no arrests
I've met him, and he seems like a nice guy. I also know that means nothing and abusers can put on a nice face. But I don't know what to do. This seems so far past innocent accidents- wtf was going on that the neighbour decided to call the police? She never said, but implied that the neighbour is just crazy. I don't buy it.
Her parents are both on FB so they know everything I know. THere's not really any point in telling them. I've never heard that they're worried about the situation, although maybe they are. I've heard that they think he's a great guy and their only concern is that she's so young, so they asked for a long engagement (2 years), which my cousin agreed to. She is not going to school because he moves around so much and she wants to follow him (I've sent her information for several respectable online programs but no bites).
I want to do something, because I feel like there must be something bigger going on... but what to do?
ETA: I just re-read what she wrote and I must have imagined the "from the car" part- what she actually said is that she ran outside, naked, and the boyfriend came outside and dragged her back in, with her fighting. All according to the neighbour, of course, and she denies it. She offers no explanation as to why the neighbour called, if that wasnt what happened.
Re: arggh, now with update
Very bizarre. I think my only advice would be to try and have the best relationship with her possible so that if it is something that she would be trusting of you to come to. You could, after a hitting or kicking FB status, message her and ask her if she's in trouble and hopefully if she is she will respond but if not she might realize that her status' may be inappropriate.
It sounds like it could be something or it could be attention seeking and immaturity. But I agree that you want to proceed in her best interest and help her if she needs it.
hth
My question...has he been deployed to Afghanistan at all? If he has, he needs to seek counselling, it could be PTSD. I have a dear friend who came back, and while he doesn't hit his wife, he is very angry and not the same person he used to be.
Otherwise, I would say just be there to support her in case something happens. I don't know if messaging her to ask if she is in trouble is a good thing...she might stop posting all together and then you really wont know whats going on.
This is a hard one. Being with a military person is not always fun and not easy. Hopefully she is just being stupid and immature.
It sounds like she's looking for attention. Posting things she know will make people respond with "OMG! are you okay?" and then gives the entire story. Like the people who post "Is so excited" or "Has big news" and leave it at that until they get 10 responses of "Tell us!"
And the running out of the house naked? Wow, looking for attention or drunk and stupid. I'd call the cops on a naked neighbor running around too. I wouldn't need anything else, that's unusual and odd enough.
I know, she's 18/19, but she just sounds very immature and failing at acting like an adult. I think all you can do is hope she matures soon, chance are she'll get to a point where she'll wonder what she's really doing with her life and find her direction. But I don't know of any way to accelerate that.
But no one ever responds sounding concerned. Maybe they know the situation better than I do? The responses are always things like "lmao! I didn't know you were into S+M", "stupid military police have nothing better to do than harass innocent people", etc. No one ever says anything like "Oh no, what happened" so does the same principle apply?
I guess the drunk theory could be true- my husband and I were trying to come up with an innocent explanation for what the neighbour saw and failed, but I guess if she was drunk and ran outside naked for kicks her boyfriend would have dragged her back indoors... I don't know. It's just so weird.
It sounds like this girl has zero boundaries and no appreciation for how people may react or interpret her status updates. Maybe she thinks this is funny? It all sounds very bizarre to me. Did she grow up in an abusive household? Your cousin has to understand that, even if they are playing around, when people see/hear that kind of thing going on, they get concerned and may very well involve the police.
They remind me of a young couple whyo lived in our old apartment complex. Fighting, screaming at all hours. I called the police weekly. One time, after a bad fight, the guy came out of the apartment and jumped in his truck, she came out (wearing only underwear) and threw herself on the hood of the truck as he tried to drive away. When he managed to pull her off a toss her to the ground, he drove away while she chased after him screaming and crying. Yeesh.
It could I guess, people are responding. I guess these comments pass as jokes in her circle? The responses sound immature as well.
I dont' want to downplay your concerns, it just sounds like she likes drama at this point in her life, so I'm not sure you can read what she says at face value. Along those lines, it does sound like a lot of bumps and bruises in a short time frame, but that could be explained by the immaturity. If they're always wrestling and play fighting it would increase your chances of being accidentally bumped/scratched/whatever over someone who sits nicely on the couch with her spouse and asks him to pass the remote or change channel or talks while washing dishes instead of flicking towels and starting water fights or whatever.
Little kids seem to always be scratched, bumped and bruised. But they also tend to explore their environments more and less cautiously then adults.
I guess watch at future gatherings for if she seems fearful or cautious around him or seems to defer to his opinion or he tends to override her decisions/opinions or put her down constantly. Those might be signs he is abusive (I can't think of others) or you'll realize just how immature she really is when you pay more attention.
I really dislike when people post these kind of misleading things on Facebook. My guess is that it isn't truthful because if she was experiencing these things should would not be posting them on FB I would think. It something to do for attention and interest. I think its sad though, because it kind of seems as she might be mocking of those situations and unfortunately that is a sad reality for many people.
I would "Hide" her status updates.
Someone needs to get her a copy of "the boy who cried wolf"
I'd hide her updates for awhile.
This ... exactly.