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Funeral Pay VENT
I am venting because if I don't, I might blow a gasket of tears here at work.
My husband's grandfather passed away on Saturday morning, and although he wasn't my blood relative, he was very dear to me and I was closer to him than I was my own grandfather. We live here in Oregon and the funeral is in California. Taking time off to drive there and back, and attend the funeral means we need a minimum of 2 days to take care of this. Because he was not MY grandfather, I do not get funeral pay to attend the funeral. Also, my husband's employer doesn't cover funeral pay of grandparents- only immediate family members. This would mean than we would have two unpaid days to take care of our family & this funeral.The cost of taking time off for 2 days, food, gas, lodging will set us back nearly $1k.
I am just finishing my third week back to work after taking several weeks off for surgery, wherein I used my short term disability benefits. My STD only paid me about 1/3 of what I normally get to take home, so that put us behind financially- but not terribly behind, just enough that we notice things are a little tighter. Ahhhhhhh.
Ummm can I cry? It's hard enough to deal with the passing of a family member, let alone the cost associated with it. And to think, this is nothing compared to what some people go through.
Re: Funeral Pay VENT
I am sorry you are going through this!
Is there any way that you could stay with family during the trip for the funeral? That would cut down on lodging. Do you think H's parents would offer to cover some of your expenses to get to the funeral- knowing that you are not getting paid and just had surgery?
I have never heard of funeral pay, but that is really crappy that it doesn't cover a family member of a spouse.
Sorry and hugs again.
I would have husband fight for the leave if the policy states only immediate family members. As far as I know, the definition of an immediate family member include grandparents.
Do you have vacation time you can use?
Any way you could pack a cooler for sandwiches/pasta salad/drinks? That way you don't have to eat fast food on the road while traveling?
Any way you could stay with relatives, camp rather than use a hotel (since you are driving) or split the cost of a hotel room with other relatives who are going to the funeral?
It sucks that they are not giving you funeral pay... but... at least they are allowing you time off to attend (even if w/o pay), and you will have a job to come back to.
Things will bounce back financially... it just might take a bit longer to get there than you hoped. Hang in there!
When my own grandmother died my office said that grandparents "don't fall under the 'family' category." You can't make this up.
Very sorry for your loss.
Do NEITHER of you have any vacation time to take? You can both only take of unpaid time?
In terms of your $1k estimate, you've gotten a lot of great ideas here around how to save money. Do you HAVE to bring any family besides you and your husband? (Not sure what family you have, but you mention "take care of family).
When it boils down to it, there are 260 days a year. If you and your husband make a combine $100,000 before taxes, then missing a total of 2 days of that combined salary is 2/260 or about $770. After taxes, it's about $500.
Anything else you spend above and beyond that is in your control to save.
And if you make less than a combined $100,000, then it's not even costing your that base $500.
Good luck pulling your plans together. Ultimately, if it's that important to you, of course you will go and make the sacrifices.
I'm so sorry for you and your DH's loss.
Every place I've worked, grandparents counted as immediate family in terms of bereavement pay. Grandparent in-laws, usually not Often there is a graduated scale of how many days are permitted depending on the relationship.
Hopefully some of the above suggestions will help make the trip more affordable. .
I'm sorry to hear of your loss.
However, I have to tell you that bereavement pay doesn't exist at some employers, no matter what the relationship the deceased is to the employee. My FIL passed away on July 7th. Neither I nor even DH - his own son - got any bereavement pay. It all came out of our vacation time. DH is a federal employee - y'know, the kind that everyone says gets fabulous benefits.
It sucks, but it is what it is.
Do you have vacation pay to use, and if you are all out of it, can you go into negative vacation pay? Often times employers will let you go into a negative paid time off balance as long as you earn back that balance before the end of the year.
Have you tried talking to HR to see what your options are? Maybe they can work with you to find a solution.
So sorry for your loss.
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