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Do you keep secrets from DH?
I don't mean temporary secrets like planning a surprise party for him or white lie kind of secrets (like you actually hate the old fraternity brother he only sees once every 3 years or that his favorite shirt is pretty ugly.) I mean big, juicy secrets.
I have one secret I've kept from DH since our wedding day and will probably take to the grave. It's not about me (otherwise I'd be posting under ConfessToday!)
My SIL (with whom I'd never had more than a 2 minute conversation until this) chose our wedding reception to tell me something VERY personal about herself (this is on the same level of being a lesbian or cheating on her husband in terms of how personal it is.) She never asked me not to tell DH, and I have NO idea why she decided to make that our first real conversation (maybe it was the free booze, maybe she was testing me for my reaction---who knows.) Their mom also knows, she said.
I felt really weird "lying" to DH by omission, but waited until after our honeymoon, then said to DH, "Your sister told me something really personal that I don't think you want to know but which you might be mad at me if you find out years later that I knew about all along. Would you like me to tell you?" He thought about it for a couple of hours, then asked, "Would your brother want to know this about you?" I said "No. I'd probably tell him because we're really close, but he'd consider it TMI." DH said, "Don't tell me then."
Re: Do you keep secrets from DH?
I so want to know what your SIL told you.
When we first married I had a secret that I did not want to reveal to dh, eventually through much turmoil I told him. I am usually extremely open with him but I still have one secret left. I will probably take this one to the grave. It's not that it's a huge secret, it's more embarrassing than anything.
I can't think of anything epic like what you're describing that I have kept from DH. If anything, I've been too honest with him.
my bookshelf!
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I do have secret that I have not told DH. Actually there are only 3 people who know about it including me. I have been thinking about telling him but I came to the conclusion that it would change alot on how he would view my family. It is a very personal secret so I prefer to keep it to myself.
ETA: I knew of this secret before DH and I ever got together. And it's something that I've just learned to live with.
I have a secret that involves a family member that has since past away (prior to me meeting DH). I think it would change how my DH views my family (not my parents but further out on the branches) and it just really isn't something that needs to be brought up. It didn't directly involve me or my immediate family otherwise I would have to tell him. If it ever came up in conversation I would explain to him what happened but I am not going to volunteer the conversation.
BTW, I totally want to know the secret about your SIL too!
I don't keep secrets, but I keep some of my darker thoughts to myself. After learning to cope with my depression a bit, I shared some of those darker thoughts with H. He didn't really know what to do with them. (They aren't suicidal or anything, but still kinda dark.) So, I just pretty much keep those to myself these days.
Once in awhile he'll ask a probing question and I have no problem giving him the answer.
Otherwise, I don't really have any secrets.
I love this.
Agreed. DH and I are very open with each other and don't have any major secrets, but we've mutually agreed that some stuff should just be kept to ourselves unless directly asked (along the lines of "how's AF doing this month?")