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BoyMom21
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What advice would you give her?
http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/40594646.aspx
If you don't feel like reading--girl on babies 9-12 months went to the bar with a friend. Friend is moving away, they got really drunk, she kissed a guy at the bar. She was wasted, and the kiss didn't mean anything to her, she couldn't pick the guy out of a crowd if she had to. She's trying to decide whether or not to tell her husband.
Re: What advice would you give her?
I would tell my husband.
Me personally....I wouldn't be able to keep that to myself. The guilt would kill me. She said that she doesn't fully remember what happened. But I know one poster addressed it in that link that maybe there is an underlining reason why this happened. Even though she is drunk I don't think that is a very good excuse for why she would let something go that far.
My thinking is she has a baby at home this is probably her way of feeling like she was still in control of her life. I can understand that, but it's still not an excuse to go kiss some stranger that you just met at a bar.
Maybe she needs to reasses her life and see if maybe there is something else there. Something that she might need to tell her husband about and work it out.
I agree with this. I don't really think drunkenness is an excuse for bad behavior. People don't do things when they are drunk that they wouldn't want to do sober - they just have lost the inhibitions that would have kept them from doing it. So why was she wanting to kiss some random guy in a bar? I agree with Ami that there are bigger issues in play. I would tell my husband because I believe he would rather know the truth and be hurt than be deceived.
It would suck, but I would have to tell him. The sooner the better. If the situation were reversed and he waited longer than a day or two to tell me I would feel like our relationship after that kiss was a lie.
I don't think I would divorce him over a drunken kiss with another girl. But, we definitely would be taking a really serious look at our relationship after that.
Ew, sucks to think about.
The guilt would EAT MY ALIVE! And, what is worse if she has been seeking advice and comfort from her girlfriends...then that means even more people know about this (and not him). In most scenarios, the truth always squeezes itself out. Unfortunately, girls do talk--even when asked not to.
I hope she'll tell him. Like pp, if situation was reversed I would wanna know.
And that right there is why I rarely go to a bar without my H, and if I do, I go super easy on the drinks. That way if I have the urge to have a hot make-out session, there's someone ready and waiting for me who is more than happy to participate.
I would suggest she just tell him, because I agree there may be some underlying issues. If she wants to lessen the guilt-factor though, she could do the whole, "he kissed me" thing. Since she can't remember, it's very possible that's the actual truth anyway.
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I actually wouldn't tell him. He'd be really hurt, but I'd feel all better. That seems unfair.
We've actually talked about this exact scenario before in a "what would you prefer" kind of way. DH "doesn't think" he'd want to know, and I definitely wouldn't, provided it didn't get any farther than a kiss. Any more than that and you need to fess up, though.