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Does a disclaimer do anything?
I've been noticing this as I've posted on non-anniversary boards, and I'm wondering what other perceptions are...
I find it useless when people begin a post with "Not to be rude" or "Not to be a b*tch" or "Not to be Debbie Downer" because it seems to be a license to be exactly those things. I don't think it lessens the blow in any way. If you're going to have a negative/opposing opinion, shouldn't you just stand behind it? Like, instead of saying "Not to be rude, but your idea is stupid" couldn't you just say "I don't like that idea. How about this idea instead?"
I also feel like people use the disclaimers as an excuse to be more harsh than they would be normally. Take this example (not from an actual board, I'm just making it up):
OP: Hey everyone, what do you think of my new bedding? What color should I paint the walls?
Random Poster: Wow, that's pretty. Since the color is so rich, I'd go with a neutral on the wall, like a gray.
Disclaimer Poster: Not to be rude, but you must be an obnoxious teenager with no taste if you purposefully bought the bedding from the Twilight films. No color will look good in the room as long as you have that hideous thing in there. But I'm not trying to be rude.
I've just been noticing it more and more (especially the "Not to be rude") and was just wondering other perspectives on it.
P.S. - Yes, I'm already anxiously waiting for one of you to start your reply with one of the phrases I've listed...
Re: Does a disclaimer do anything?
No offense dear, but (insert criticism here). Bless your heart.
This is a standard phrase around here. The required Southern politeness + judgment/criticism at its finest I suppose. I think Keb is right though, people sometimes use disclaimers to avoid being ostracized for their unpopular opinion.
Maybe people do it to try to convey a different tone than what it would look like without it?
I find it akin to people speaking ill of the dead, and then finishing it with "God rest his soul." It's as if saying that at the end negates anything bad said or forgives the decedent of all bad things done while alive.
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I find this similar to the "if you have to tell people you are, you're not" category of phrases/behaviors. As in, "I'm not a racist but..." If you're saying something racist, you're a racist, whether you think you are or not.
Also, are like girls who wear "Hot Stuff" t-shirts. If you have to write it on your shirt, you're not. Vice magazine had a really funny bit about it.
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100% agree with this - people use this so often. I love when they add the "bless your heart" part - like not only do they think you are stupid/trashy/flat out wrong, but they also feel sorry for you.
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Haha, excellent point!
I do think you all are on to something about maintaining popular appearances. I think it does provide a sheild of sorts.