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Should I go on a date?
Here's my one post contribution for the day:
Personal opinions please, ladies. If you had a friend in my situation, would you give her the side-eye if she started going out on dates?
A bit of background: Was with DEX for 13 years before the separation - married for the last 3 of those years. Separated 3 months now & have been living in my own place for 2 months. Halfway to divorce (6 months in VA if you have no children). I'm 30. Still going to counseling once a month, but the counselor thinks I'm prettymuch fine to stop our sessions & that I'm ready to "go on some dates."
Honestly, I don't think I'd be opposed to going on a date. Maybe I'm overly concerned about other people (family, friends, coworkers) thinking I'm just on the rebound or jumping back in too soon? I wish there was some mathmatical formula for this like acceptable min & max dating ages (half your age + 7 & your age minus 7 x 2). I'm too technical for my own good - I'm such an engineer 
Re: Should I go on a date?
I think you've got to do what feels right for you and screw what anyone else thinks. If you feel ready then I see nothing wrong with it. You've always seemed like a very mature rational person to me, and not the type to rush into any decision lightly.
The feeling ready part is key though. I once went out on a date with a guy who was separated and he was no where near ready to date. It was awful for both of us.
remember, you don't have to share everything with family & friends. if you think someone is going to be overly judgemental then don't tell them. yes, i think you should consider dating if the right guy comes along
That's always a tough predicament. I honestly think that it is 100% up to you. Everyone handles things differently. Sometimes if you are over the relationship before it ends, then I don't necessarily think any relationship following quickly is a "rebound," since the people in the relationship were so over it in the first place, but don't want to go through the whole breaking up crud. If the relationship ends out of the blue on the other hand, and the person who is broken up with is say, devastated (some people are for months after break ups), that's a completely different story. If emotions are still running high, then yeah, it's a rebound, it's like revenge. You don't want me so I'm going to show you someone else does (I have a friend like that, it's rather annoying).
If you feel comfortable with yourself, and the ending of the relationship with DEX, then go for it!! Live life to the fullest. Never live your life in fear of what other people might think.. eff 'em.
Hmm.. I've been in that same situation - I say, if you feel ready, go for it. Definitely don't worry about what other people think, but go with how you feel.
For me, I felt like I was ready maybe 3 months post divorce, but was actually surprised at feeling like I wasn't quite comfortable while I was on said date! Its something you might have to wait and see vs. calculating it out - but there is no harm in troubleshooting.
I agree with everyone that if you feel ready then you should go. I think it is great to get yourself back out, as long as it feels right.
I would give you the side eye if you were heading out intent on finding the one so that you could get married right away. I think taking time to enjoy dating and enjoy your single life (which you seem to be doing quite well I might add with all of the events/activities you have been doing with friends) is very important before you jump into something serious. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I think the dating part is a great next step as long as it says casual and low-key. And if you do find Mr. Right this weekend, then I'd think he'd understand taking things super slow to give you the time you need.
From my own personal experience, when ex-DH and I were first separated I knew that there was no way I would be doing myself any favors by going out on any other dates. I needed the time to try to figure things out. I went on my first date about 8 months after we separated and felt pretty good about dating from that point on. However, you sound like you are ready to continue to move on with your life and I think that as long as you are honest with yourself as well whoever you might go out with, you should definitely do it! Good luck!
Because you are truly taking the steps to make the best decisions for your life (you made a mature decision to decide that the marriage wasn't going to work, you made a mature decision to get counseling (+100 for that), and it sounds like you are trying to make the most mature decision with this) I think you'll feel "ready" and know it when the feeling hits.
That being said, when you're talking about "dating" are you talking about "I met this guy who seemed like a great person to get to know" or are you talking about "my friends want me to sign up on match dot com and start messaging random guys" because if it's the later, I say...I would give you the side-eye, but if it's the first, I totally want to know the details after the first few times "going out on a date"
also, to me "dating" doesn't have to be such a formal event...let it happen naturally, a planned "dinner at 8pm, i'll pick you up" date sounds daunting to me..i'd rather let a guy know i'll be "going to this event, maybe i'll see you there"
Thanks for all the thoughful opinions. Like I mentioned before, I'm an engineer. I tend to be very black & white, right/wrong, detail oriented, & also have tendancy to over think/analyze things - sort of a "can't see the forest for the trees" mentality, if that makes sense. The grey area of "ready" & "normal" is daunting to me. I always appreciate 3rd pary perspectives on things like this; they help me take a step back & find the forest again
Mentally, I've been slowly checking out of my marriage since at least August or September of last year. I feel bad for him because I don't think he really saw it coming (he grew up in a "fight/***/yell/complain/enable stay together anyway because marriage is for life" household). He's getting better with time, but it's definately been harder on him than me.
Just to be clear, I have no intention of going out to find another husband. In fact, I'm not convinced that marriage is right for me. If I end up meeting awonderful man that I want to spend the rest of my life with, fine. If not, that's fine too. I've had more fun in the past 2 months on my own than I have since I was in high school. I'm definately talking the route of "I met this guy who seemed like a great person to get to know" vs. Match.com
I'm not seeking someone to date, but I have had a few people express polite interest. I think the two reasons I haven't accepted are 1) DEX is actively looking to date & I think I'd feel even more guilty if I'm the one that did the breaking up AND started dating while he's still all alone (I know this shouldn't be a factor, but he's still a friend & I care about his happiness), & 2) I don't care for word getting out that I'm "on the market" considering that I work with 90% males. I'd say 20% or less of my department knows I'm getting divorced. There's a decent amount of friend/coworker overlap, so I'd have to watch what I say to whom.
Yes, I realize neither of these two things should matter when it comes to what's best for me & what makes me happy.
...did I mention I tend to over analyze? =P Thanks again.