So, I am sure you have noticed my nonappearance over the past few days. Right? Riiiight? Well, regardless, I bring a grody story of something that I was previously unaware existed. I can't unlearn this information, so I am sharing it with you so you are equally as cursed.
My friend has gone through medical school and is now a resident (or whatever happens to smarties after they finish med school). Every time we hang out, I am enlightened to the fact that there are some sickos out there.
So, a guy walks into an ER. He has an odd looking rash around the entry of his colostomy bag. Yep, colostomy bag. Everybody is analyzing, trying to figure out what kind of rash it is, and what could be causing it. After much deliberation, the only thing they could come up with was that it looked like herpes.
The guy finally fesses up. He is a colostitute. Colostitute. Look it up (well, I'm not going to, because I don't need that in my internet search history, but you go ahead).
Colostomy + prostitute = colostitute.
You are welcome.
Re: Super grossness - DO NOT READ ME - GROSS
I BLAME THE INTERNET.
All the stuff that used to be taboo has gone so mainstream that the real sickos out there have to out gross themselves.
So you know when people say I vomited in my mouth but they're just joking.
Not joking.
The nerve!
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WTF.
First, why? Just... why? Secondly, wouldn't that be ridiculously painful?
As an aside, this popped up in my google search and I want to know where I can get an apron like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXjQ7MjinTQ
Maybe I don't have a heightened sense of smell, but I've never smelled any vagina on my pants. -- TSD
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"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
I enjoy a good gross out story, especially one involving sexual fetishes. But for PETE'S SAKE. Why wouldn't you require a condom on your job if they were sexing your colon?? That just seems like common sense.
I need a gif of a cat looking shocked.
Barf!!!!!!!!!!!
Everybody is analyzing, trying to figure out what kind of rash it is, and what could be causing it. After much deliberation, the only thing they could come up with was that it looked like herpes
this part makes me laugh. Did the guy just sit there and keep his fingers crossed that something, anything else may have caused the rash other than random dicks being in it?
how in the hell is a colostitute supposed to make an honest living these days?
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
I would not have been able to resist sharing that either, Vinny.
Ew. Ew. EW.
Hopefully this isn't the business your kid decides to start when you give him/her the twenty large.
The hair grows in thick where the horn used to be.
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If I were a man (or fitty) I'd totally call my penis THE WIZARD - HappyTummy