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Feeling guilty (BR)
I know damn well this belongs with the rest of the anxious new mom posts on the 0-3 month board but I'm putting it here anyway. Sorry.
We put Babycorn in his crib last night for only the second or third time. I'm not AP or anything, he just has always slept better with us and for sake of sanity and extra sleep we've been cosleeping -- however, always with the intention that we would start sleep training when he's old enough (3-4 months according to the book I decided to go with).
So last night, he is good and passed out before I go to bed, around 10:30. I put him in his crib, fully expecting he will wake up within an hour as he usually does when I try to do this. I turn the monitor on to "voice activate" and go to bed.
I woke up at 5:30 am thinking maybe I've heard a cat. Monitor is silent. I listen closer, get up and listen at his door...he is SCREAMING his fool head off and lord knows how long it's been going on. At least long enough for him to flail about and shove himself up against the end of the crib.
Anyway, now I feel like I let him down for letting him cry when he's still too young for that. 
AND now I think we need a new monitor, voice activated my ass.
On a positive note, I got 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep AND his cloth diaper did not leak, so I think we're safe to use them all the time now.
Reassurances welcome.
The hair grows in thick where the horn used to be.
Re: Feeling guilty (BR)
Also on the positive side, he has something to talk about with his therapist!
I would have been traumatized by that, but it will all turn out OK in the end. He will sleep through the night some day.
You're a horrible mother!
I keed, I keed. I bet he wasn't even crying that long. What turned out to be the reason for the crying? Hungry, wet, lonely, other? I wouldn't fault you for this one bit, but I'm not a mom. I don't think letting him cry for an unknown amount of time is a big deal at all. It's not like you left him all day to go shopping like I do in my baby dreams.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
All of the above.
I don't think it was TOO too long. We know from our car experience that if he cries more than 20 minutes he gets hoarse, and he was still going strong. :-/
The hair grows in thick where the horn used to be.
That would upset me too, but in the scheme of it, it's no big deal. You now know for future reference that you can't necessarily hear him crying from your room when the door's closed. No harm done. Overall, there are so many things we as parents are conditioned to feel guilty about, and I don't think the guilt is necessary or healthy (for you or him). I think this whole motherhood thing is trial and error. You are going to screw up stuff. If you're lucky, it's just little stuff (like this).
You got much needed sleep, so that is good. I understand being upset by this, but he is just fine. Just give him good cuddles and all will be forgotten.
And, yeah, if you posted this over there, you would be flamed into a vortex of guilt. Good call by not doing that.
Exactly.
Live and learn. And sue the monitor company for therapy bills.
The nerve!
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The exact same thing happened to us a few months ago. I felt horrible, but there is no sense in beating yourself up about it. It's just one night and he won't remember or be hurt by it.
That said, I still feel a little sick when I think about it... its normal.
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It's ok. I promise. I doubt he was screaming long and he won't remember, like others have said.
The postive in this is that he survived a night in his crib and that even if he was screaming for 10-20 minutes, he slept...through the night...in his crib. This is fantastic news!!
But if you want some commiseration- we dropped Dagger last night. Well, I mean, I guess not dropped, but he slipped when Mr. WInged was handing him to me. It was a short distance and he did fall into my arms, although awkwardly. Anyway, he let out a scream I have never heard and cried so so hard. I think it just frightened him, but man did we feel so terrible. It was awful.
Ethan slipped out of Zane's hand in the bath tub when he was washing his back. He slid down and bumped his head on the tub. It was all of three or four inches, and he didn't even cry, but we spent the whole night checking him for signs of concussion.
I know it's hard to think he was crying and you didn't help him, but chances are it wasn't that long, and he definitely won't remember it. Don't beat yourself up over it.
Hugs. And hand over the baby.
Kidding.
Seriously, do NOT be so hard on yourself. So much of parenting is trial and error. Technology isn't always reliable-as you learned. I highly doubt he'd been crying but for a couple minutes. Mommy guilt only begets more unnecessary guilt, so try to let it go. They are resilient.
Owen still doesn't sleep in his room, so you're doing great.
Thanks guys, I really just needed to hear that to make me feel better.
Buddha, my kid does not make any noise while he sleeps.
The hair grows in thick where the horn used to be.
Yeah, we can't hear him with the monitor off, but I have it turned down low enough that I can't hear all of the grunting. It vibrates once the noise reaches a certain level, so it buzzes if he is actually crying but won't do anything for regular happy baby sounds.
Owen was SUPER grunty for the first 8 weeks. I didn't think I could take it. But now he's quiet. Well, the last week or so he was restless, we thought it was because we stopped swaddling. Turns out he was cold, so now he's happy as a clam again sleeping in footed jammies and not just a onesie like we'd been doing. Oops.
He sleeps all night but I don't want to mess with a good thing. We're going to transition him to the crib after vacay in a couple weeks.
How awful.
When he grows up to be a serial killer, at least you'll know why.
"As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
I deserve that and wonder why it was so long coming. Probably because Bethie only read the first sentence.
The hair grows in thick where the horn used to be.
I bet her FUPA's name is Shane, like the gunslinger/drifter of literature.--HappyTummy
The hair grows in thick where the horn used to be.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
Yeah for him sleeping in his crib for the first time! I bet he wasn't even crying for that long.
Ben was in our bed for 7 months. He can be a loud sleeper (tosses and turns - in general a total bed hog). But he is quieter than Joe (the snorer).
I once let Ben fall of the couch. He tumbled like a rag doll and landed on his face. Holy mommy guilt on that one (I turned for 1 second to put my camera down). He did that weird cry when they aren't crying but their face looks like they are and their mouth is wide open and then the screaming starts.