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The tornado that is my Korean family (long)
Here, have a laugh at my expense. Due to a combination of pure batshitcraziness & culture clash, visits with my mom's family are always...interesting. Exhibit A:
I get a phone call Tuesday afternoon informing me that Aunt #2 is going to visit Aunt #1. Aunt #1 wants to give me a bookcase that belonged to my late uncle. I'm a 2 hour detour from her return trip route, but she insists. Ok, fine. Glad to have another bookcase.
I started a tradition of hosting a Wednesday movie night & having wine & apps w/ a couple of friends. Aunt #2 never tells me when she'll arrive, so I keep my movie night plans intact. I get a call at 7pm saying she's 25 miles away. At 9:30pm she appears...with Aunt #1 in tow.
They proceed to burst into my house, start poking around, & peppering me with questions. Ooo, this is nicer than they thought. Was I renting? No? My mom told them I was renting. No? So I bought? Oh. How much was it? How much are dues? How big is it? Where's your dining room? You got the dog? Shut up stupid dog! Where is your washer & dryer? Ooo, big closets....
I try to make introductions, but before I can get the first, "This is..." out of my mouth, Aunt #2 points her finger at my two guests & says, "You guys! Go move bookcases!" & points out the door. I'm mortified at this point, apologizing to my buddies, & telling my aunt she can't order my guests around. The guys have already booked it out the door, are surveying the back of a van packed full of who knows what, & making cracks about the warehouse boxes in Raiders Of The Lost Ark. They're good natured about it, but I'm still totally embarrassed by the way my aunt treated them ("What? They're men! We don't need to move anything. They're here!").
When my aunts finally get ready to leave, Aunt #2 manages to pull off two more point-&-shout moments.
To my friend, standing around outside smoking: "You smoke?"
My friend: "Yes."
Aunt #2: "That's bad for you. You should quit."
My friend: "That's very true." ::stifles extreme urge to laugh as he looks at me & my oh-my-god-I-can't-believe-I'm-related-to-these-people face::
And then to me: ::points a obviously gay friend:: "Is he gay?"
Me: "Yes."
Aunt #2: "And him?" ::points to smoking friend::
Me: "No."
Aunt#2: "Ok. We're going to go. You come visit sometime this month."
I've learned that a glass of wine or two really helps after visits & phone calls from my family 
Re: The tornado that is my Korean family (long)