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What do you do?..
I'm in a blah mood lately. The long & short of the story is that I work f/t and go to school at nights & weekends and H goes to school & works f/t. We rarely see each other. We have one night a week where we are both home together. Its been this way for over a month now & I guess its just taking a toll on me. I work late every day I'm in class, then go home, clean, and study/do homework. It gets old fast. I hate feeling so lonely. I also hate to admit this, but I have almost no friends 
, which makes it even harder b/c I don't have that group of people I can just call & say hey let's go get dinner, or hang out or something to keep my mind occupied. I hate that we are still in the 1st year of our marriage and spend more time away than together. Its been a rough year for us w/ a lot of stress and family issues & just general changes & now that all of that stuff is out of the way, we're now into the current state of things.
I don't know if anyone here is in a similar situation, but if you are or have been, what did you do to cope? I feel like I can't really bring myself to say "anyone wanna hang out?" on my local board b/c I'm kinda ashamed to be just shy of 31 & have no friends. If ya'll have any advice, I would really appreciate it. Just need a pick me up. And maybe to know I'm really not the only person going through this... TIA.
Re: What do you do?..
Most of my friends live in NY (either the city proper or in a borough)--those were friendships developed freshman year of college. Making friends after that is tough! So, here I am, in central IN with only a couple of friends. These are people I met through work, school, or through DH's friends.
What is your program? Are there any lab times that allow you to chat with your classmates? That's really what I do, but most of our classes are lab since it's a creative program. Maybe meetup.com is another good option if you can find a common interest.
Signed,
I'm 31, I get it.
I'm majoring in Psychology w/ a minor in Criminology. Its a weird one, I know. hehe My prob w/ school is that I'm in such a weird place. Well, I guess that really applies to my life. hehe I'm almost 31 and I never made many friends in my life. I tried but the ones I "thought" were my friends ended up being backstabbers so I got out of dodge. So now I'm in school, which one would think would present a huge opportunity for friend-making capabilities, but it doesn't. I'm in the middle of the majority of the students. They are either just out of hs (which is just too young & immature for me, not to be mean) or are my parents age or older (again not to be mean) but I would love to have friends that are more my age and interested in the same things in life that I am. My mom tells me I'm too picky. Don't I have a right to be at this stage of my life, though? I might meet someone & think oh we could be great friends & then they don't keep in touch so I feel like its something I'm doing or something about me that turns people away. H tells me its not that; people are intimidated by me. So I feel like I'm constantly fighting a battle and its mostly against myself.
munkii - Thanks for your "signed line". You made me smile.
I know exactly what you mean. I spent pretty much the entire weekend either sittng on my balcony reading or with my mother because I seriously feel like I have no one to call to hang out with. Also lately the Mr. and I have been on opposite shifts so I work like 7-330 and him 1-10. Once he gets home it's pretty much my bed time.
I have a couple fairly good girl friends but one had a baby about a year ago and she spends a lot of time with her sister who also has a little one and the other is pregnant right now and that's all she talks about. I (we) don't want children so to listen to someone for hours on end who does nothing but talk about pregnancy and children is a little painful. And if you even try to change the subject it eventually rolls around to pregnancy again. I am really beginning to feel I have nothing in common with them anymore. I also have a few guy friends but they are suddenly weirded out by the idea of hanging out with a married woman. Like, hello, I've been with the Mr for like 9 years and we haven't even been married for 1 and suddenly you're weirded out...hates it.
I don't really know what to do about it since I have no idea how to make friends and generally won't talk to anyone unless I really have to. I would never just strike up a conversation with someone out of the blue. The Mr. would talk to the dead but I am just not like that. I come from a small town where everyone pretty much knew each other and you were just friends, easy. Pretty much the same with college but none of those friendships have lasted. Even after I took my latest course a few of us became close and would talk after class for hours but once the course was done we all drifted apart. The town I live in now is really cliquey. It seems like everyone already has their friends and really don't want anymore. Besides all the people my age (29) have kids and are married (or divorced) and have so much drama that I probably am better of not being friends with them anyways.
I think you should speak up on your local board. I bet you'd be surprised to find how many other people out there feel like you do. It can happen at any age. My 3 closest friends have moved away in the last 2 years...leaving me no one to hang out with. I have other people I know, rehearse with, volunteer with...but they all have their own groups.
My husband lives her and works in St. Louis. He leaves every Monday at 5am and doesn't come home til about 2am on Saturday morning. We've been doing this for 4 years. I'm grateful he has a job, but I don't like it. My daughter has her own home and family, and I try not to infringe...so I spend a BUNCH of time alone.
52 and floundering too....
Phyl