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Money, happiness and stuff
I was reading this article yesterday, and it touched on something I've been thinking about a lot lately: namely people moving to massive houses because they don't "have enough room for everything". Does that strike anyone else as very consumerist? I mean, how much stuff do you really need in life?
One of the women in the article owns 100 things. That's it. I certainly couldn't do that, but it's interesting to prioritize your top ten list. What things couldn't you live without?
One of my friends grew up without many toys, and no cable tv and she lives her life very much without stuff in it - which is something I'm very envious of. I almost want to go ask her parents how they did it - both she and her sister are two of the most creative, down-to-earth people I know, and I swear, that's due in part to the lack of material possessions they grew up with.
Re: Money, happiness and stuff
very good article! It does give me a lot to think about. There is so much pressure to acquire stuff!
DH and I were discussing what is absolutely necessary - it came up b/c I was thinking about what we would do if I ever accepted a short term job (2yr or so) in another state, I don't think it would really happen but always a what if? We started with practical concerns (how could we pay for our house while also renting something else) which led to a discussion on actual logistics of a second living space (studio apt for all of us? down to the mundane - everyone only gets one plate, cup, utensil set and 1 suitcase of clothes....) Crazy.
hmmm, 100 items huh? This is great motivation as I finish up gathering items for my yard sale this weekend. But I may be missing the point if I am having said yard sale so I can put the money towards a new couch (3rd for the house).... haha.
i love the article! i don't think I could get down to 100 items, but it's definitely interesting to see it be done.
I've been thinking about this a lot, actually. we don't tend to buy much "stuff" - yet, we have a house full of it, and we just moved to an even larger house. The larger house is mostly so we have enough bedrooms for kids, office, guests - but still...
a few things I've been contemplating lately:
- I have about 5 or 6 shirts, 2 pairs of pants, and 3 dresses that I can wear these days. plus 2 t-shirts when i'm feeling desperate (for the weekends), and a pair of basketball shorts I swiped from MH when it was unbearably hot. that's my entire wardrobe right now, and it's served me well for weeks. do I really need a closet full of clothes? or 30+ pairs of shoes? I've been wearing the same 2 pairs for weeks now. I asked MH, and he said that ppl are more forgiving/understanding of fashion (or lack thereof), etc when you're pregnant. but i wear the same things each week, it doesn't bother me, and i don't think my coworkers/friends care... i think i'm going to donate a lot of my other clothes - especially the stuff I've been hanging on to that i haven't worn in years, just in case it will "someday" fit again.
- don't even get me started on the baby-related products. friends keep telling me to register for this or that, and I just don't want to! i don't want to buy all that stuff and have it in my house. i imagine once the baby's here, i'll figure out what i think i really need, and go from there, and hopefully not buy things we don't use/need. we'll see.
- i drive a 1995 toyota camry. even i have to admit it looks pretty junky now, especially after i ran into the hitch of a huge suv, and dented the hood. the windshield has a big crack, i can't use the radio or it kills the battery and the car won't start, the alarm system is horked, and you can't get the doors open with the key - you must use the remote. etc. lots of issues. MH has been wanting me to buy a new car, and I've finally agreed. but it runs fine! it has less than 105k miles on it, which isn't much for a toyota
so now i'm looking to buy a "mommy car" - which probably means something big. which guzzles gas. sigh. and we moved out of the city (to our said larger house) and can't take the bus/walk everywhere (not even to the grocery store) like we used to (not that we always did, but there was the option). i have mom friends that drive little hybrids, but i think we'll want the space to haul strollers, etc around. sigh. ...this car dilemma is a whole separate post.
- i unpacked our kitchen - 30(!) boxes worth of stuff. when i moved to seattle 8.5 years ago, i had a grand total of 17 (or was it 14?) boxes - all my earthly posessions (that i didn't leave behind in my parents' house for them to deal with - hah). of course, i had no bed, no furniture, etc - i bought all that after the move, but still. now we have 30 boxes just for the kitchen?! sheez. and after i unpacked it all into my new big kitchen and panty? about half the cabinets and half the pantry are completely empty. i hope they stay that way...i can't imagine what we can possibly need/use to fill up the space!
- we have a formal living room now - which, after we finish unpacking, should be empty save for a lonely couch and a bookshelf full of books. (we had an extra couch we never got rid of after MH and I moved in together) again, i hope it stays that way. i have no desire or need to buy formal living room furniture. we'll probably turn it into a playroom for the kids some day.
- we have 2 sets of silverware - our "old" silverware, and our "new" silverware (wedding gift). we love the new. still primarily use the old - so the new doesn't get too old/worn?! i don't know. seems silly. but also wasteful to get rid of the old. remind me again why i thought we needed new silverware?
i do love it, it's beautiful. but completely unnecessary.
anyhow, sorry for the long post. my short response would be - yes, i would love to have less "stuff"! i'm inspired to figure out more ways we can make this happen.
2 things stuck out from your post sandra -
first - baby stuff! argh, this is a battle I will never win. well meaning grandparents have already ensured that jack has more toys than I ever planned for him to have. MIL keeps sending more - since they are brand new and he won't know the difference I have just started putting them in the closet to give him later - at this rate she will do all my christmas shopping for me (think anyone will know?!)
second - i struggle with stuff DH or I have attached sentiment towards (wedding gifts in my case, or random T-shirts in DH's case). Now that I know what works for us I could easily get rid of lots of kitchen stuff... but what about that one large party per year that we throw that I *NEED* multiple coffee carafes for.
that is why my move for work example didn't seem that scary - we would always be able to come back to our "stuff" haha.
My house is 85 years old, lots of people tell me I will outgrow it. I can't help but think there MUST have been families much larger than ours that happily lived there w/out the finished basement and master bedroom addition. The front bedrooms are tiny and have tiny little closets - I really should pare down more.
I gave a side eye to a coworker of mine when she and her husband "had" to buy a 4 bedroom house for just the two of them because "we need more room for all of our stuff." If I had that problem I'd just get rid of some of my crap, but hey, what do I know. (Part of my side eye was because she also cheerfully told me that the mortgage was higher than they were comfortable paying, but oh well, they wanted the house.)
Admittedly, my views are probably skewed the opposite way because I grew up in a VERY poor family. No TV (we lived in a rural area) and few toys - we read a lot of books from the library and did a lot of stuff like drawing.
I have a lot more stuff now, but I think it's still relatively sparse compared to many peoples' homes. When my dad and stepmom were visiting, they kept asking me what we needed for the house. I just kept shrugging and saying, "Nothing, really." It wasn't until after they left that I realized they were asking me what we wanted for the house (yes, I was a little dense and didn't figure it out until then) - but because due to my upbringing I have a very well developed sense of needs vs wants, it didn't occur to me that anything was missing. Sure, some of our things might be older, but it all still functions perfectly, so replacing it isn't a need. (This isn't to say that we never spend money and haven't upgraded some things over time - last year we bought new couches and sold our old one - just that we don't tend to buy a lot of stuff.)
It's amazing to me how much stuff, particularly Americans, seem to have. I just don't get the bigger-better-faster mentality. I admittedly fell into that trap for years and taking a $3350 per month pay cut over the past 18 months has cured me. It used to bug me - a lot. Now, I love not buying a bunch of crap I don't need. Aside from the 3 books I bought yesterday when I went to get ONE.
Like Sandra I've really thought a lot about clothes. Really, how much do I need? I stick to the basics and I do buy things if I need them - my latest 'splurge' was 4 tank tops from Target when I realized I was dying in tshirts in 100+ degree weather. But other than that, I just don't buy it anymore.
The other thing is that I was always "running errands" to buy said stuff. Now that I'm not buying stuff I don't need, I also am not out running errands constantly.
SO TRUE...I didn't realize how much I didn't need all my clothes until I got pg and couldn't fit into them, esp during the last trimester. I was just rotating a handful of maternity shirts, utilizing my 2-3 bella bands for pants, and doing laundry often. I also wore 3 pairs of shoes during that time. Same thing with nursing. I'm just rotating through my 3 nursing tops and a couple of pre-pg tops that I can easily nurse with. Now I'm thinking, why did I ever believe that I NEEDED all my clothes?
I have too much stuff. I'm a horrible pack-rat. I keep receipts and bills just in case someone tries to collect $ that I already paid (I guess it happened to me once and since I saved the receipt, I was good to go and now I'm going through all this trouble of saving all this junk for a once-in-a-lifetime thing =/). I did do myself a favor and scan a bunch of stuff into my computer the other day and threw away the physical copy...the more I make things digital, the less physical clutter I'll have around the house. Then, the only problem I have is that I keep every other thing that makes me feel nostalgic. And shoes. I go through purging sessions once in a while, but it's still not enough and our place is still very crowded (granted we live in a small 1-br apt, but still...).
I think that I should do a purging session ASAP, while this post (and the article) is fresh in my mind =P
Alyson & Phil | Planning Bio | Married Bio!
Dates & Quinces Blog
hah, i counted once - I had something like 11 different bottles of vinegar. balsamic (probably 3 different bottles right there), red wine, white wine, apple cider, pomegranate, etc etc - every single type of vinegar imaginable - except white!
in my defense, most of it was leftover from MH's previous roommate - but still, it made me laugh. then sigh. and we still have them all.
LOL!
LOL! I could have been the roomate's twin! I have a vinegar problem too - 2 kinds of rice, white wine, apple cide, white balsamic and raspberry (the gorgeous thick stuff). I'm so embarrassed!
Alyson & Phil | Planning Bio | Married Bio!
Dates & Quinces Blog
This makes me think, it's time to purge! When we moved to HI we moved only a few boxes. When we moved back and knew it was for good, we shipped plenty of stuff home... but we also lived in a 700 sq ft condo so there wasn't that much stuff. Now that we have a house with a basement, watch out! It's worse when you have a kid, people buy you TONS of stuff that you never really use or need or even want... but how do you say no? UGH! It's been a battle since we got pregnant with Bella...
However, as far as our stuff, our closets seriously need to be purged. Too many tshirts or clothes that we haven't worn in ages. I keep saying that I want to try stuff on and then purge but I DID try stuff on and I didn't purge!! UGH bad me!! My body changed after having B and I never really fit into all my cute "boobie" tank tops... now my girls runneth over BIG time! My friends keep telling me that once I'm done BF then they will get smaller than they were before but what do you do? Hold onto that stuff in hopes that it'll fit and look decent or toss it and buy new later? I hate to hold it but then I also HATE buying new clothes, I'm so picky... then I wonder if that stuff will be completely out of style by the time it actually does fit... or that I'm too "momish" to wear it any more... suggestions? Comments?