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Update on us

Hi everyone.  I posted a less than cheery update on the special needs board today.

Don't get me wrong.  At home, things are going very well.  We are growing together as a family, and are growing closer in love every day.  M is our dream come true, but that doesn't mean it's easy.  I wish I hadn't underestimated the language issue before adopting an older child.

 http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/40992502.aspx

Re: Update on us

  • What a rough thing for you all to have to go through. I don't have any advice, but vibez and TP are headed your way.

  • oh CS, that's heartbreaking.  watching any kid go through a surgery has got to be just excrutiating on the parents, and especially since you guys can't communicate perfectly with each other.  Just know that this WILL be harder on you than on him.  He'll have his surgery, perhaps be sore for a little bit, mend quickly (oh, to have a young body!), and move on.  You'll be the ones to remember this episode in your lives and carry the pain of watching him go through it.  HE will be fine.

    hugs to you.

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  • I agree with Tasty. This must be so hard on you. But, I think in retrospect, this will be a small memory for M, and much harder for you once he begins the recovery process.

    I think your love and support will be a comfort to him. Be strong.

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  • Awww, poor little guy.  Is it necessary to do the surgery right away?  Maybe you could put it off for a few more months when he's a bit more settled in.  It just seems like a lot of change for one person to deal with all at once. 
    If it does need to be taken care of right away, then try your best not to worry about the "what ifs".  You'll just make yourself crazy.  Maybe you can make the surgery an adventure?  I remember as a kid I always wished I would have to have my tonsils taken out because everybody who had it done talked about all the ice cream they got to eat afterward.  That surgery had been turned into this great thing solely by the promise of ice cream!  Maybe you can come up with something similar to get him excited about.  Maybe pick out some special books and movies he can watch while recovering.  Or a game.  Whatever gets him excited.  Give him something to look forward to after the surgery.
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    "That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
  • that must be a terrible feeling for you and him.  Is there a way to have him talk to another child who has been through a similar surgery?  maybe having it all explained by another child and seeing that that child is ok will put him more at ease?
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  • Are you trying to do the surgery now while you're on leave for his recovery? If so, that's a tough one if you can't take off more time in a few months.

    I agree about giving him something to look forward too. Maybe find a project you guys can work on while he's recovering. Mini gardens in a bottle or a quilt would have Bug's attention and be low-key, not sure about M. 

     All my toilet paper to you. 

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    "The meek shall inherit the earth" isn't about children. It's about deer. We're all going to get messed the fuckup by a bunch of cloned super-deer.- samfish2bcrab

    Sometimes I wonder if scientists have never seen a sci-fi movie before. "Oh yes, let's create a super species of deer. NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG." I wonder if State Farm offers a Zombie Deer Attack policy. -CaliopeSpidrman
  • I like the idea of him talking to other spanish speaking kids (who have been through a surgery).  Even if they can't find someone in the area, maybe they can find a family willing to help elsewhere in the country and you guys can skype or G-chat with video.
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    "As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
  • Thanks, everyone.  I'm feeling a little better, but really wish the hospital would call us back to schedule the next step and set me up with the child life unit.

    It seems as if the surgery  really can't be postponed.  The doctors told us they'd like to expedite it so he can start school right away, but some other things they said lead us to believe it's more than that.  They can't get a blood pressure in his lower half of the body, and barely get a pulse there.  They are worried that he's not getting enough blood to his lower organs with the blood pressure medicine, but don't want to take him off cold turkey because the elevated pressure in his upper body.

    We're hoping we'll be able to hook up with someone who will be able to help us explain what will happen more in depth, and will ask about talking with another child who has been through it.  Thanks, that was a great idea!  I just don't know if it will be possible.

  • maybe someone here could put you in touch with a spanish speaking family that had a similar surgery

    http://www.kidswithheart.org/ 

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  • http://www.cincinnatichildrens.org/svc/alpha/i/int-adopt/default.htm?WT.mc_id=100639&utm_campaign=Infectious-Diseases&utm_content=iac&utm_medium=Web-Print&utm_source=Shortcut

    Are you near a hospital with an international adoption center? There are a handful around the country, I wonder if they could be a resource to you in some way. 

    image Ready to rumble.
  • I don't think that its necessarily so important that you find a Spanish speaking kid who's been through the same exact surgery (or any heart surgery, even).  I think a kid who's been through any "major" surgery involving a hospital stay and recovery would be fine.
  • oh, CS, my heart goes out to you. I know this has to be so rough on you and M. It sounds like you got some good suggestions and are taking action on those so i hope they help!
  • Just reading everyone else's comments, I don't think I can read your post. Sounds too heartbreaky. I hope everything goes smoothly.
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    11/11/11 = 5 years. Woah!
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