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out of town guest vent-long!
I'm up early feeling all stressed out so I thought I'd come here and vent a little bit. Maybe someone can help me not feel so ugh about the situation.
My cousin, who is one of my very good friends texted me at midnight last night saying she would be coming down and staying with me from Friday to Wednesday. Problem is-she booked her flight without ever asking if these dates were good for me. I love my cousin and I'm excited she's coming (she's never visited me in NC before), but really, she booked a flight without even checking with me if the dates were ok???
I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed lately and having house guests is fun, but I was looking forward to a little down time before work starts. Two weeks ago DH was in and out of the hospital which was just super stressful, last week we were in Vegas, which is fun but traveling is always a busy time, yesterday through Friday my bff from home is staying with us, and now I will be taking bff to airport in the morning on Friday and having to pick cousin up from airport at 11 pm on Friday. Plus we just got a new puppy this past Monday and I start work on Tuesday. It's just teacher work days so I guess I can bring my cousin with me, but now I'll have to leave early Wed to take her to the airport (as long as I don't have any meetings scheduled, if I do then who knows what will happen). Oh and to top it off, DH just told his sister that she couldn't come down this weekend bc we were too busy, and when she inevitably finds out that my cousin is visiting and she wasn't allowed to-she will be super mad- she is one to hold a grudge.
It sucks to feel so negative about having someone I love visit, but I was really looking forward to DH and I having some down time this last weekend before school starts up. I know it's bad to be so negative about having a guest...but it is a lot of work (and costs money) to entertain someone (any ideas on what we should do?)- and I am having trouble getting excited about this.
Re: out of town guest vent-long!
I don't think anyone can blame you for being irritated by the way your cousin arranged her visit, that was really rude of her. Do you have any idea if there was a reason behind her spontaneity? If she was going through a hard time and decided she just had to get away or needed your support or something I guess I'd be more inclined to understand, but still. I'd be pretty dang pissy over it. I guess as it is, though, all you can do is try and suck it up the best you can b/c it sounds like you like your cousin & would be happy w/ a visit if it were on different terms so you don't want to discourage future visits. I do think it's fair to let her know, at one point during her visit, that as much as you enjoyed seeing her that some advance notice would have been appreciated. I might even fib about possible plans that could have caused problems w/ the visit. Maybe say something like "It was great to see you, but dang you're lucky that we didn't have anything going on. We almost booked a hotel in Wilmington and wouldn't have been here!".
I'd def. be concerned about the SIL thing. I would probably just be upfront with her. Give her a call, tell her that your cousin is crashing your weekend. Tell her that if your cousin had been as considerate as she had been and asked, the answer would have been no too, but you can't do anything about it and you hope she understands that you weren't picking your cousin over her or deliberately avoiding her.
I completely agree with everything Terp said. So just insert all of that here.
I think you should still try to have a relaxing weekend- at least as much as possible. Like maybe you could go get pedicures and then watch a movie at home. Or walk around a garden and have a picnic lunch. Or just catch up over a bottle of wine. I have found that not all guests like the crazy packed weekends and enjoy relaxing too! Hopefully your cousin is this way. Also, could you put her to work? She could help you get your room ready at school. Or maybe there is a craft project you've been meaning to get to that she could help out with.
For your sanity, I would make a list of what you need to get accomplished this weekend and make sure that happens. Without advanced notice, your cousin should not hold it against you at all if there are some things that just need to be done.
Ditto Terp!
I hope everything goes alright. Vent away because you've got every right to do so!!
Ditto again on Terp's advice!
I really can't believe someone would just book an airline ticket like that-- kind of an expensive way to assume something.
Thanks-it's nice to hear the support and know that I'm not just being irrationally irritated. We really were thinking of painting our bedroom this weekend and I might just have her help with that instead of cancel doing it all together. I like the idea of doing some relaxing activities together too. I think we will let SIL know like you said terp-better she find out this way than later b/c I do think she would be very mad.
And I do really like this cousin, but I have no idea why she went ahead and just booked the trip. She's currently applying for jobs and she knows I'm a teacher, so she had told me she wanted to come down during the summer, but I had no idea she would just book the flight without confirming the dates first or anything