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I may be dying
Okay, I'm probably not dying. I have a sore throat. And it's not even that sore. But I'm not in the mood to get sick, so I went to the doctor to see if there was something I could do to avoid more symptoms.
While I'm in there, the doctor has me wait in the examination room while he takes care of a patient in the next room. The patient is clearly an older man with bad hearing (based on the fact that he was practically shouting) and some kind of gastro-intestinal issue that was causing him distress. So the conversation I overheard went something like this:
Doctor Hotness: How long have you been having this trouble?
Smitty: I was all stopped up this morning, and it was killing me, Doc. But then I pooped, and I've been feeling better since then.
Doctor: Have you taken anything?
Smitty: I took a poop around 7:30.
Doctor: I mean any over the counter drugs? Have you tried Beano, or Gas-ex?
Smitty: No. But I took some ex-lax, and everything came out about an hour later, and everything feels fine. But by tomorrow morning, I'll be all stopped up again, and the pain is like nothing you've ever felt.
(the doctor does some examintion stuff. Insert a 'does it hurt when I do this' here and there)
Doctor: I don't see anything particularly wrong, but I'll write down the names of some over the counter medication. Take it as directed for a couple of days, and if it doesn't clear up, we'll do a CAT scan to see if there's anything going on in there.
Smitty: Will this make me fart?
Doctor: You should notice increase gassiness, which should clear things up.
Smitty: Oh man. I'm gonna be fartin' like a gorilla!
End Scene
3 out of 4 dead babies agree! pepsi is better than coke! - EdithBouvierBeale
Lordy. Grow some balls and stop lurking. It's like stealing from the internet. Jesuschrist. -- AudreyHorne
I hate love and marriage. I got married so I could destroy these things from the inside. - NoisyPenguin
It's a good thing my circle of trust is as giant as my vagina. That only leaves a couple people out. - Cali
Re: I may be dying
They ruled out the flu and put me on a Z-pack, so hopefully I'll be fine in a few days.
And Happy Birthday!
3 out of 4 dead babies agree! pepsi is better than coke! - EdithBouvierBeale
Lordy. Grow some balls and stop lurking. It's like stealing from the internet. Jesuschrist. -- AudreyHorne
I hate love and marriage. I got married so I could destroy these things from the inside. - NoisyPenguin
It's a good thing my circle of trust is as giant as my vagina. That only leaves a couple people out. - Cali
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
gorillas are notorious for their farting. and their ability to use sign language.