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::feastivegal aka Cindy::
I just read the trhead on Family Matters about the bike for Amanda's birthday. Forgive me for being a whimp but I just couldn't post over thre. It's scary! Anyway, I understand where you're coming from since I'm a stepmom too. I don't think any of the women over there are or at least didn't say they were. It's hard to understand the dinamic if you not in a step-family.
So to the point, I would sit down with Amanda (both you and Mike) and tell her that you regret taking her to D's when you knew you couldn't afford it right now and that was wrong (I'm not judging - I've been know to do simialr things w/ SD) but since you did you'll give her a couple of options.
#1 - She can get the bike from TRU
#2 - She can get the bike from D's any pay the difference. If she doesn't have the $$ she can do extra chores (have a list ready) to help "pay" the difference. Be sure to tell her that if she doesn't follow through wiith her end of the deal (i.e. extra chores or what ever) tell her that the bike will be parked until she does.
Either way you are teaching her the vaule of a dollar. I'm glad she wants a bike. Amanda & my SD seem to have a lot in common. We worry about SD's wieght issues & fear that she may develop diabeties. Good for Amanda for choosing a gift that will get her moving & active.
PS - You're a fantastic stepmom. Don't let anyone else tell you different. 
Sweet moment with SD
Me & Dad
May Siggy - Favorite Flower : Yellow Jonquill
Re: ::feastivegal aka Cindy::
Ha, thanks!!!!
Yeah I was happy to have a few people in my corner but G-sus H, those women are ruthless. I have been holding my own with them though and am not backing down. And I can't control Mike's reasoning for doing or saying what he does when it comes to Amanda. She's HIS kid so he makes the calls, end of story. I never wanted kids so of course I'm not used to budgeting for their wants and needs. KWIM? And if it makes these bullies happy to hear me say it, then fine I'll say it. I said it.
It just kills me how they can bash my wedding and honeymoon and owning a house and car and turn it around on us saying we spent too much money on ourselves to give Amanda what she wants for her birthday whether it's in the budget or not. Tell you what, I feel sorry for all those people in 15 years when their kids start bullying them and pushing them around because they want their way all the time and are used to getting it from when they were little.
Cindy...I posted over on your OP on family matters. What a bunch of crazy biotches! LOL You're so right about how they'll be sorry if 15-years. What is our country and what are people coming to now days!
Sorry to butt in on this thread! I just thought you should know!
Wow...I'm so glad I rarely post on other boards!! They were brutal! It sounds like they didn't like the fact you were a step parent....I'm sorry but one persons post about how you didn't need a big wedding you wanted one and you didn't need a house you wanted one....Seriously!?!?! Are they saying you should not have bought a house so you could afford to buy your child an expensive birthday gift?? I think $100 is a perfectly fine amount to spend on a child for their birthday, it's not like your saying you have $10 happy birthday....
I think that anyone who just buys a house is usually on a pretty tight budget with down payments and closing costs and maybe these ladies have just forgotten about all the money that comes out up front! And you needed a house for so many reasons, not only did you get more room and A got her own room, but it was an investment for your family and now instead of throwing away money every month in rent you are investing it in your house and hopefully someday you can sell for a profit.
And as for your wedding, they really just are uninformed about it. You can tell that some were irritated that it was your DH's 2nd wedding...
Trust me, Cindy - they did not all marry rich men, etc. I hopped over and read that thread. Yeah, next time post where your "best nesties"are :-) I have found that this is my "home" board, although I do post on my local board (and they are actually really decent there as well), but some of these others? Seriously?
What in sam's hill of beans does the fact that you had a big wedding, bought a home and a car have to do with not wanting to bust your budget on a kids bike? I was really SMH while reading some of that stuff. I am convinced that there are some women who really don't have a life, or anything better to do than to troll these boards and entertain themselves by bashing and flaming other posters. I was saying as much to another nestie earlier this week...being anonymous gives them a boldness to just be out and out rude. It was clear to me that they didn't care what your reasoning was - they were there to bash and that is what they did. A few had constructive words, but believe me, it was only a few!
FWIW - Don't apologize to people like that anymore. They seem to have a need to feel that they are right for the way that they respond, and I wouldn't validate them. I happen to agree with you and your Hubs. If a $100 is the budget, then that's what it is. Although I do have one other suggestion: Perhaps offer her the $100, and let her know that when she has saved the other $50 (I'm assuming she has chores or something similar to earn her "pin" money), then you and Dad will take her to get the bike that she wants. Or as was suggested, maybe she could use some of her other B-day money to go towards it. I think that gets her what she wants and teaches her the value of a buck...
That way, she does have a present, it is in your budget, and she gets a life lesson. Do what you feel is right for your kid, honey!! Sounds like you have a lovely young lady who will do very well as she grows up :-)
Ditto this!
Cindy, I'll be here for you (or on FB) anytime you need to vent. Just send me an email on FB. Don't post anything to my page or it could be used against us (in court). It's tough being a Stepmom.
Man I missed you all & the great support & advice you give. I've said it before & wil say it again & again, why did I leave you guys??
Oh, and I read a great book about marrying a man with kids. I HIGHLY reccommend it. It's titled, The Single Girl's Guide to Marrying a Man, His Kids, and His Ex-Wife: Becoming A Stepmother With Humor And Grace by Sally Bjornsen. It's funny & helpful. GL
Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn, I just read the entire thread and people need to take a chill pill.
$50 is not a big deal, but the fact of the matter is that you set a budget! Why have budgets in the first place if you aren't going to stick to it?
I would offer the $100 for the bike and have her use up some of her birthday money for the additional $50 - Then you could all go pick up the bike together.
Not that difficult, why it needs to turn into a huge banter about your spending habits is beyond me. Peeps need to get a life fo sho
Tales From a Kitchen Misfit
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