Would you want to know?

wingedbride · August 2010

If you were the child of rape?

ET correct stupid spelling

buddhagouda · August 2010

Would this mean finding out someone I thought was my father wasn't?

I don't know. I know my mother was raped. That information is unsettling enough without knowing I was produced by it.

CaliopeSpidrman · August 2010

No no no no no. 98% of the time I am of the mindset that you need to know the truth about things regardless of the pain it may cause, but this falls in the 2% of things that should just never be known.

wingedbride · August 2010

buddhagouda:

Would this mean finding out someone I thought was my father wasn't?

I don't know. I know my mother was raped. That information is unsettling enough without knowing I was produced by it.

well, either way. i think it would be awful either way but even worse if you found out your dad wasn't your dad then if you never knew any dad or grew up knowing you were adopted or something.

wingedbride · August 2010

CaliopeSpidrman:
No no no no no. 98% of the time I am of the mindset that you need to know the truth about things regardless of the pain it may cause, but this falls in the 2% of things that should just never be known.

see i think that but then i think what if i got some type of inherited disease that was not in my known family, should i be told.

GroomzMcFinehiney · August 2010

I don't know that I would. We've discussed this quite a bit because there's always the possibility that we could be offered a child who is the result of rape, and our social workers feel very strongly that the best thing for the child is to be honest about his/her background, regardless of what that is.

wingedbride · August 2010

GroomzMcFinehiney:

I don't know that I would. We've discussed this quite a bit because there's always the possibility that we could be offered a child who is the result of rape, and our social workers feel very strongly that the best thing for the child is to be honest about his/her background, regardless of what that is.

oh wow groomz. i didn't think about that. i could not imagine having to be on the other end

modb1rd · August 2010

I think you have to tell the child. And be as honest about it without focusing/obsessing on it as you can be. Anything like that that is "hidden" can be seen as shameful and really damage a person if they find out later.

wingedbride · August 2010

you say child. at what age?

i agree with your point mod. if you never knew as a child, would you want to as an adult?

GroomzMcFinehiney · August 2010

I agree Mod. We would tell our child, and probably get some help to make sure s/he is able to process the information in as healthy a way possible. Kids are much more resilient than adults. As for me, at 34 years of age, I think ignorance is bliss. I would not want to find out about it myself at this point.

CaliopeSpidrman · August 2010

I just can't imagine being a kid carrying around that kind of weight. It's going to be horrible and awful whether you hear it when you're 5 or 35. I guess I just can't think of how that information could possibly help. It's got to be easier to wander around wondering who your dad is, feeling like a piece of your puzzle is missing, than it is to hear the answer is that your dad is a psycho rapist.

RFKD82909 · August 2010

I wouldn't want to know. Genetic abnormalities/diseases or not. I can't imagine the psychological damange that would do to me. I'm already screwed up enough after being told at age 11 by my Biological father that the only reason I was alive is because my mother refused to get an abortion. I couldn't deal with knowing that.

FallinAgain · August 2010

modb1rd:
I think you have to tell the child. And be as honest about it without focusing/obsessing on it as you can be. Anything like that that is "hidden" can be seen as shameful and really damage a person if they find out later.

I agree.

I think the most hurtful thing if I was told now would be the idea that my parents lied to me my whole life. My parents are my parents and I was loved and had a good children. How I was conceived wouldn't have matter, but being lied to would.

modb1rd · August 2010

I should clarify. Would I want to know? NOPE. Would taking the risk that the child find out somehow whether as a child or an adult be worth the risk of hidign the information? no.

Novemberrocks · August 2010

I think 'want' to know is the wrong word. I think I should know and I would need to know, and I would be hurt and upset if that information was deliberately kept from me.

wingedbride · August 2010

Fozzy0802909:
I wouldn't want to know. Genetic abnormalities/diseases or not. I can't imagine the psychological damange that would do to me. I'm already screwed up enough after being told at age 11 by my Biological father that the only reason I was alive is because my mother refused to get an abortion. I couldn't deal with knowing that.

What a hateful mean thing to say.

CaliopeSpidrman · August 2010

I'm sticking with the Santa Claus theory. It sucked when I found out my parents had lied to me about Santa, but I appreciated them doing it for me.

I learned how to make analogies from inlovewithlife yesterday, so I hope you all appreciate my Santa/Rapist analogy.

wingedbride · August 2010

They lied to you about Santa again too. He raped your mom. Santa is your father.

CaliopeSpidrman · August 2010

Nooooooooooooooooooo! Although that would explain why my belly jiggles like a bowl full of jelly.

wingedbride · August 2010

CaliopeSpidrman:
Nooooooooooooooooooo! Although that would explain why my belly jiggles like a bowl full of jelly.

i was thinking it explained why you love getting gifts for good little boys and girls.

CaliopeSpidrman · August 2010

And my affinity for lists! And cookies! Plus, I look dynamite in red.

wingedbride · August 2010

this is really getting freakish. you should go on maury to confirm.

SANTA, YOU ARE THE FATHER!

RFKD82909 · August 2010

wingedbride:

Fozzy0802909:
I wouldn't want to know. Genetic abnormalities/diseases or not. I can't imagine the psychological damange that would do to me. I'm already screwed up enough after being told at age 11 by my Biological father that the only reason I was alive is because my mother refused to get an abortion. I couldn't deal with knowing that.

What a hateful mean thing to say.

He's been nothing but a complete tool for the majority of my life and people wonder why I don't want anything to do with him.

Would you want to know?

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