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Update to "Totally Flameable Confession"
Thanks to everyone who gave me advice. Just being able to put it out there helped me sort through a lot of my thoughts and the reasons behind the problems we've been having.
I had a long talk with my husband and we came up with some things that we can try. First, we are just going to try to make our sex life more adventurous. He said he'll try whatever I want (short of a threesome), so we're going to look at a toy shop and see if there's anything interesting that we can use.
There are a few things I've always wanted to try (bondage, for one) so hopefully that'll help. I also really kind of miss things feeling more illicit, so we are going to look for a baby-sitter to watch our son and then meet up at a bar, pretend we don't know each other, and have sex like two strangers.
As for the bisexual component, he is really not okay with the idea of me having sex with anyone else, and I respect that. We did reach a compromise, though. He said he'd be fine with me talking dirty to other women online, going to strip clubs, and kissing other women (as long as our clothes stay on). He doesn't want to watch porn with me, but he said we can read girl-on-girl erotica together as part of our foreplay.
I'm hoping that'll be enough. I feel like he's compromised a lot to make sure I have an outlet for this part of me, without undermining our marriage. I haven't decided how I feel about kissing other women yet, mainly because I'm afraid I'd get too turned on and not be able to stop myself from taking it farther. So I think I'll leave that part out, at least for now.
Re: Update to "Totally Flameable Confession"
I think it is great that you guys communicated and that your H is willing to compromise! I also think it is great that you are going to try and spice up your sex life.
However, I don't think it is a good idea for you to kiss or have cyber sex with other women. I think this will open up the door for a whole bunch of other things that you don't want to involve in your marriage (i.e. things going to far or your H feeling he has the right to do the same).
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I am glad you have come to a compromise and hope it works out for you guys.
Nice! It's good that you opened up to him so that you two were (hopefully) able to hit common ground.
It's very likely that light play with girls will be enough to sate you. It sounds like you're looking to occasionally feed off of female sexual energy, not necessarily "go all the way," which your arrangement may well provide.
I would definitely keep a close eye on it, and it it starts to feel weird for either of you, nix it. But I don't think it's inherently wrong to include other people in your sex lives, to any degree, as long as you're smart and communicative about it. (I know a lot of people think extra people = instant relationship death, which is not always true.)
Good luck & have fun! I especially like the bar roleplay!
I don't know. Obviously, I'm a dude and may just not understand females well enough, but cyber sex and making out with other women seem like a terrible idea to me. I would equate it to Odysius requesting to be tied to the mast of his ship as they pass by the island of the Sirens. However, in this case, you control the ropes and the knots.
Also, are you positively sure that your H is positively sure he won't feel hurt by you desiring another person? Just be sure.
Good luck.
I understand what you're saying, and I'm not sure that I will go through with either of those things. I could see it getting out of hand and causing more problems than its worth.
I don't see this compromise leading to a stronger marriage and would suggest marital counseling first and foremost so you can work through your feelings together, determine any underlying issues, and work those out so you both can make these decisions with a better understanding of what it means to your family. Whatever the two of you decide to do I wish you luck.
BFP 11.8.12 * EDD 7.17.13 * MC 12.20.12
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, over!