Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Newlywed Schedule frustration!
Hi. I work graveyard 10 hour shifts 3 nights a week. My husband works days when he works, but when he is home alone at night, he stays up all night watching movies, playing video games messing with things. He is productive when I ask him to be, so in all fairness he is not as lazy as that may sound. Anyway, I keep telling him that he needs to get on a regular sleeping schedule for work, but he keeps to mine as best as he can and justifies it with hopes of seeing me for a few minutes when I am awake during the day. We have been married just over a month, and on our honeymoon had sex quite often (I was a virgin before hand), got home, made love one-2 times a day...Now we talk about it, and I jokingly ask if we are normal because as newlyweds we don't jump on eachother every time we see eachother because right now we are maybe doing it 1-2 times a week. And he says we are normal, although he would not mind sex every time we see eachother with a smile on his face.
Anyway, this morning, I got off work a little early. I was sleepy but kinda horny, and really wanted that close time with my husband before I wasted the day away sleeping. I got home, got naked and crawled in bed with him. He woke up long enough to wrap his arms around me and notice that I was naked, we talked a little, and I turned on the petting. trying to get some Foreplay going, and he was oblivious. I pressed my body against his trying to get his attention, and he just rolled over. so finally I rolled over and slept all day. I went to sleep frustrated and a little mad because he was to tired to even notice me. He says he cannot always read my advances, so I would love to know what advances he can read...Personally with my personallity, I thought I was pretty clear. I think he needs to get on normal sleep schedule if for no other reason than it will click that this is not an every day occurance (okay he really does need to be on it for work). I mean, what advances will work if that one doesn't? Seriously,
NAKED WIFE WITH HANDS ALL OVER YOU...DO I NEED A NEON SIGN TO SAY I WANT SEX?!?!?!
(This is when he says he is horny every morning)
Re: Newlywed Schedule frustration!
Did you try saying "I'm horny. Are you up for some sex?"
He can't misread that.
Common problem here. The near total lack of awareness that straight men can not understand hints,clues, suggestions and read minds or "Know".
As pp said, get eye to eye contact when he is not distracted with something, anything else. Then tell him in clear direct english exactly what the message is. No hints, suggestions, clues etc. He isn't wired to "read between the lines".
I'm a bit shy about coming right out and telling DH "I want to have sex". I'm perfectly fine and happy to ask "You want to get frisky?" "I sure could use some loving".. etc.
Direct, not so harshly blunt- but very clear to DH.
I cuddle my husband every night before I fall asleep and frequently go sans PJs. So that would just be a typical night for us. Plus, when I wake my husband up, he's oblivious to the world and frequently doesn't remember it the next day.
I really don't think you were being that direct or obvious.