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Company question
So most of you know, my H's family lives in Wisconsin. Well his mom and dad are for sure coming down when Colton is born. And yes, they are going to stay with us for a couple days after. Now, I haven't had a baby before, so I don't know if this is a good thing or bad thing? After they leave, his mom, sisters, and possibly a couple aunts are going to come back a couple weeks later. This is the part that I start having an issue with. H has 4 weeks off work and I have 6...I don't want to have that entire time be filled with having company. We will need to get on a schedule and it's always hard to do that with people staying at your house. For one, I can't STAND one of his sisters. She is seriously awful and frankly, I don't want her in my house, but I'll deal with it I guess. But mom, sisters and a couple aunts???? Is it rude for me to say get a hotel room? I know they're driving 12 hours, but we'll have a newborn! I don't want to feel like I have to entertain when I'm new at being a mom.
For those who have had babies, did you have people stay with you afterwards? Did you like the help? Did you ever have to put your foot down and say no? HELP!! I don't know what to do.
Re: Company question
I think that is alot of people to have stay in your house while tending to a newborn. My parents did stay with us after M was born but they also helped out in other ways. I don't think it's rude to ask if they might get a hotel room. You are not really going to the hostess with the mostess 6 weeks pp.
I would have H talk to his mom and see if she wouldn't mind getting a hotel instead. Especially since this is the second time that they are visiting.
My mom stayed with me for almost 2 weeks after DS was born and I loved it.
But, I would never want extended family staying with me in my house right after my baby was born. Having my mom there was helpful, having all those people sounds like more of a chore than anything. Do you have enough room for all those people? If not really, I would just have your H explain to them you don't need all the added chaos of house guests while you're adjusting to a newborn.
You will have a ton of visitors though, which I didn't mind. I probably had 2-3 different people in and out of my house visiting for the first week or two. I didn't mind, I liked it. And they brought food
We have room for 4 people comfortably. I know people will be visiting for a few weeks and I'm completely fine with that. I'll enjoy the visitors. It's just the visitors who are wanting to stay a couple days that I'm not ok with. When his mom comes without his dad, she always brings 3 or 4 people with her. Even without a baby, it's a lot to handle. At first, I didn't even want his parents staying with us when we get home from the hospital, but I could tell it really bothered H, so I said ok. I know FIL will be itching to get back home. He doesn't like to be gone away from his store for too long. I'm going to wait to see how it plays out after the first visit and see what she says about the second visit and who she is bringing with her. For some reason, she can't come alone...not sure why? After that, I will say something. I don't want to jump the gun just yet. But I just wanted to make sure I wans't being unreasonable.
Is it so odd to want to let couples have alone time with each other and their newborn? Frankly, aside from having one or two people over to help straighten up and give me a breather, I would rather be left the hell alone in that situation.
I typically don't visit people right after they have a baby. I might put together a meal for them that they can freeze, but I don't hang around too much because it's a little private to me.
I wouldn't want that many people in my house, staying for an extended period of time, ever.
After V was born, I can remember my whole family (7 people) coming over for dinner the night we got home from the hospital. I hated every.single.second of it. I did not feel like cooking dinner and entertaining and whatnot. I wanted to lay in bed with my baby and do nothing else.
After M was born, I felt much better, but I still didn't want anyone here 24 hours a day. I wanted time to bond with my baby and for H and V to bond with her too,
I think though, had I been more vocal about what help meant to me, it would have been better. No one really came to help, just to hold to baby and I really wanted to hold my baby. I could have used help with cooking, laundry, and dishes, but no one offered and I didn't ask.
I don't think I would want that many people, or any people really, staying overnight, but that's just me.
My mom stayed with me for 2 weeks after Conner was born...but In my situation there is a BIG difference b/t MY mom and HIS mom. My mom cooked and cleaned and got up at 5 am with the baby and let me sleep. H's mom kinda just doesn't do much when she was there (for 3 days thank God). This time around I will be needing more help with Conner than Carson. It will be nice b/c I'm sure my mom will fix dinner and watch Conner in the afternoons.
I think in your situation I would sooooo not want the whole damn family coming down. Hello it's not a party. I think his mom coming down would be cool but the whole family that's a bit much.