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housemate: how long?
so, lars and i have a good guy friend named that is staying with us. we met him originally in ireland on that trip we went on and he is from a small down in eastern wisconsin.
he's been unemployed but actively looking for a job for a year and continues to do so now. he started crashing in our guest room in early june while he job hunted here locally and then also started going to a local recording school.
well, here it is mid-august and he still has no job and he's still staying with us. mostly, i don't mind it because he's a great guy, clean and we just plain like him and want to help him out.
however, i'm starting to think about the fact that there really seems to be no firm end date unless he gets a job. he has said repeatedly that he can't wait to get a job and get a place of his own but what if that doesn't happen?
lars doesn't want to bring it up to him yet and i kind of feel like we should at least talk to him about it so we know what his plan is.
also, he collects unemployment but pays us nothing and it sometimes irritates me that he goes out so often. i know he has a HUGE monthly health insurance premium, plus gas, car insurance, food, etc but sheesh, i kinda feel like he should be offering something to us.
i dunno... am i way off base? i realize we should have set up some ground rules before letting him start crashing in our guest room but hindsight is 20/20.
and honestly, it's not a huge deal right now... i'm just preparing for when it feel like it is.
Re: housemate: how long?
I think you're absolutely entitled to talk to him about it now. You've been more than generous so far, but the situation could get ugly if it continues on like this indefinitely. Deal with it now before it becomes a huge problem.
Let him know that you're okay with the current arrangement for x length of time. Give him a deadline so he realizes that while you're willing to help out, he can't freeload off you rent-free forever.
If he doesn't have a job before that deadline comes, are you okay with him staying longer if he starts to contribute something toward the household expenses (even if it's a small amount)? If that's the case, tell him what you'll expect him to start contributing if he can't move out before your deadline. If you just want him gone at a certain point regardless of whether or not he pays rent, let him know what that deadline is so he can make other arrangements.
You are very patient. I would not be so nice about someone who had been freeloading for 2 months with no end in sight.
Mr. Sammy Dog
Oh, yuck. I'd get him out of there. If you're thinking it's going to be a problem, it already is.
I'm more private in my home life, plus I am really fussy. I wouldn't be able to STAND it if someone was in my guest room that long. Even family and close friends.
If I were you, I'd say something like the household needs to be back to normal when school starts this fall for your son. Set a definite timeline.
Personally, I don't know how people can live with other people that have totally separate lives. I have to be totally comfortable in my own house.
I think you are a saint for letting him stay this long! I probably would have made it a couple of weeks.
I agree with pp that you need to sit down and set up a reasonable agreement that will work for both of you. If you don't, it will be xmas and he will still be there.
Does he join you for meals too? Sure it's only 1 more person but it has to start adding up between food, water, electricity, etc.
We did this with a friend, and it did NOT turn out okay. I posted about it on the knot when we were all on there. Third roommate from hell. ugh.
I would definitely make time to talk to him. Let him know that part of his unemployment should be used to contribute to one or more bills, or towards the food budget. If he doesn't want to contribue financially, he should do so with chores. I mean, he can mow the lawn, do the dishes, vacuum, etc. I know chores sound childish, but contribution would be a way to say thank you in the least.
If you guys are uncomfortable with that, because I know these types of things are awkward. Maybe give him a deadline, and if that deadline isn't met, then he should begin to contribute part of his unemployment towards your bills. If he doesn't then you guys are unfortunately not willing to allow him to stay.
It is a tough situation. I'm sorry lady. I hope it works out for the best though!
Zuma Zoom
Have a sit down and make it an official room-mate thing. Draft up a contract- Let him know that you just want to protect all parties involved... Ask for rent- you have a right! tell him that you are more than willing to help, and you don't want to put a strain on things, but you don't want to be taken advantage of.
In Minnesota the home-stead laws are kind of crazy and if things go bad you could get yourselves really screwed over. we have had roommates- friends staying with us, and every single time, every single person, we have had them sign a make-shift contract.
We have never had any issues- I think it would be in your best intrest to have a talk, put something in writing.