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Am I awful? :(
So, my sister has really disappointed me over and over for, really, as long as I can remember. It really became noticeable when she didn't go to our engagement party, and she forgot about my college grad. party and went on vacation instead. Not to mention she is completely unreliable, and while she says, and I know she really cares, she doesn't show interest in my life as far as calling to say hi, or to make plans together like she used to before her divorce and her life turned into one big pity party for herself.The latest thing was that she didn't even start looking for a babysitter until the day before my bachelorette, and ended up having to arrive late and leave early, and she didn't pick up her dress until the week before the wedding, and called me the morning of to tell me her dress didn't fit, projecting a ton of stress onto me.
So, she graduated from a school program, and my other sister wants to throw a grad party for her, with all of our family. I will do it and she has worked hard to earn her certificate, but I can't help but feel jaded that she hasn't been there for me at all. I feel terrible about this, I am trying to put everything behind me, but it's hard to just forget all those hurt feelings.
Re: Am I awful? :(
i agree with tailspin. youre are absolutely not awful! some people just get too wrapped up in themselves to even notice how they are treating others, especially their family members. i hope this is just a phase she's going through and then later when she looks back on how you supported her, she'll become a better sister.
just so you know, you're not alone. my younger sister is very much the same. she does come to family parties and things, but she took a nap in the middle of my sisters baby shower that i threw (yeah i definitely woke her up from that!) and she barely talks to my dad to even ask how he is feeling. its very disappointing.
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Aww I'm sorry! I completely understand how you are feeling and no matter what anyone says it does suck that she didn't give and now you have too to be the bigger person. I agree with lis.....some people just don't get it....maybe she doesn't know she does it. Maybe she needs a little "how does it feel?" in her life. In the end you gotta be there for her and some day you'll look back and will be happy that you didn't stoup to her level.
It kinda seems like it's a life lesson for us cuz now I wanna give back to everyone who gave and took time to go to my wedding events. I was doing so much for my SIL's wedding (I was in it) and she didn't come to any of my wedding events. Not my shower, not my bach party nothing. I was so hurt by this and cried a lot over it...but I never brought it up to her I just dealt with it.
Nope you are not awful at all. It is only natural to have your feelings hurt when someone who you want to be there and share your happiness and life with you simply isn't. It's tough and human. I'm sorry.
I do feel you pain-- you are not alone. SIL treats me the same way. She never remembers important life events (i've been in her life for 6 years), doesn't care to celebrate b-days, etc with me. Didnt go to my bach party because she had a "headache", came to my bridal shower but was unpleasant the whole time, etc, etc. HOWEVER, I am throwing her a bridal shower. I know in the back of my head that she probably won't see it as a peace-offering, nor will she express any gratitude for my efforts, but I will know what I did and know that I made the effor on my end.
You can only go so far before you have to hope for the best after you've done all that you can!