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Night before the wedding
What did you do/where did you stay the night before the wedding? - I went to my parent?s house after rehearsal dinner, chatted with my family and had a couple glasses of wine to help me sleep.
What did then FI do? - FI stayed at our apt, had some guys over, drank some beer and played Wii bowling (at least these are the stories I got a couple days later). He was aloud to do whatever he thought would be responsible as long as he showed up to the church when he was supposed to.
I'm asking b/c my friend that's getting married tomorrow doesn't want her FI to go out with his friends. She wants him to be home and in bed by midnight. (He's in the service and it's his 1st time home since Nov. so he wants to go out for a few drink's with the guys, and she's saying NO). Is that understandable or out of line?
Re: Night before the wedding
we had the rehearsal dinner at our house and then i left with my parents to go back to their house to sleep. my then FI finished cleaning up from the party and went to sleep at our house. but we were both so exhausted from the few days before the wedding that we didnt have time to do anything fun. and he knew id be pissed if he was hungover at the wedding.
i understand your friend's request if she thinks he will go overboard and it will negatively affect his stomach and/or attitude the day of the wedding. if he can control himself, i dont see why he couldnt go out with his friends the night before.
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All of my BMs and I came back to my parents' house after the RD for a slumber party! Well, we had intended on it being a slumber party, but we were all so worn out that we just went to bed right away lol.
DH and his guys also stayed the night together and then went out for breakfast together the next morning. All I know is that they drank some beer, DH went to bed at a decent time, but some of the GM were up until like 5 am. They were still dressed and ready to go at the correct time, so no complaints from me!
I think that's a little out of line of her. I would understand if she didn't want him to go because she wanted to spent time with him, but it doesn't seem like that's the case. I know my DH has some friends that are a little crazy and I'd be skeptical if he was going out with them the night before the wedding, but I trust DH enough to know that he'd be responsible regardless.
we were both pretty low key.
i went back to a hotel where my family was staying. my best friend/MOH stayed there with me. we watch movies for a bit after the RD. my brother and his GF came up and joined us for a while.
DH went back to his house. i think he just finished packing for wedding night and watched movies.
i think we were both asleep by midnight or so and up before 7. we just were too excited to sleep!
I stayed at the inn where my venue was. Andy got a hotel room with his family for after the rehearsal dinner I think he said he was up til 2, I was too just chatting with MOH!
Well I would suggest anything to her in case it starts a fight. But yeah thats a little much for me. 12? I dunno if I would have given Andy a curfew but I was hoping he would be responsible.
After the RD, we were at the venue until almost 11:00 fixing things that had come apart, etc. Then I went home, made a couple of lists and a pile of things to bring with me the next day, and went to bed.
FI and some friends went out bowling after I left the hotel. I didn't mind at all, he's not the type to drink a lot anyway, especially the night before his wedding. Plus, they didn't have to wake up early like me so I knew he would be fine.
I would suggest to your friend that she discuss this with her FI, so that he's not feeling like she's holding him back, but he should recognize her concerns that she wants him to be bright eyed and bushy tailed for the whole day-of.
After the RD, I went back to my parents' house and promptly fell asleep...I had been sick all week and was exhausted. FI went to the hotel and hung out/drank a bit with some of the groomsmen. I knew that he wouldn't go crazy and end up hungover, so I didn't really care what he did. All I cared about was getting my beauty rest :-)
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I know it's between them on what he does so I'm gonna leave it at that, but I will remind her again today when I talk to her that she trust her FI (and so do I), and loves him so she should know that he wouldnt go do something stupid the night before his wedding.
She might just want to stop telling him mother & sisters to make sure he's home as soon as he drops her off that night. And telling all his friends he's not allowed to go out tonight ... sadly, even though I love her dearly, she is starting to sound a little overbearing at the moment. But I give her the benefit of the doubt and know it's just wedding stress!
First, I think your friend might be being a little unreasonable. She should trust her FI judgment and that he knows his limitations.
As for what DH and I did, after the RD, we went back to our house. We swapped gifts and spent some alone time together, making sure that he would be out by midnight (talk about Cinderella). He then went to his sister's house to sleep and I stayed at our house.
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Our RD ws at our house, as was the wedding.
All the guests left our house by about 11pm, myself and the girls stayed at our house. We went to bed around 3am.
The guys stayed at a cabin across the lake from us. I have no idea what time they went to sleep.
I think that she is out of line, and if she thinks she is marrying an infant that does not know what is best for him then she shouldn't be marrying.
Are we the only ones who didn't sleep apart the night before? Haha! We didn't see the point and aren't superstitious, so after the RD we went to my parent's house and crashed (~11 pm), then went our ways in the morning.
That being said, I wouldn't have cared if DH had wanted to go hang with his friends or do whatever that night; it just turned out that we were both exhausted at the end of the day Friday. I think your friend is out of line for reasons PPs have mentioned above. He's a grown man! Can she not trust him to show a little judgment?
Madswan- We stayed together this night before the wedding, too. It had been a stressful few days and we were both feeling anxious, so it was comforting to be with each other that night.
As for what we did the night before- we had our rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, then went to an english-style pub down the street from our hotel with two of our best friends for some fries and a beer before calling it a day.
I don't understand the not allowing him to do what he wants thing, but i don't know anything about their relationship, how they are feeling about the nerves of getting married, etc. so who am i to judge?
After the rehearsal, we all went back to my parents house, hung out, chatted etc. I think the last group left around 11:30. I went to bed around 12, and crashed around 1:30.
FI slept at his parents house, left my house around 11:30, and apparently was asleep by around 1. No big deal, just what it was.
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We all went out to the bars after the RD (which ended at 11). Most of my BMs went back to the hotel around 12:30, but my cousins from OOT who I am close with had just gotten into Baltimore and wanted to stay out a little bit longer. I was absolutely dying because I was exhausted and had gotten very little sleep the week leading into the wedding (thank you, night shift nursing), but I gave in to cousin pressure
We stayed out until last call at 1:30 unfortunately... and I had to be up by 7:30 the wedding day. The boys parted ways with us at 12:30 when most of my BMs were leaving, and they were all pretty happily drunk. They couldn't have stayed out past 2, because that's what time all the bars close in Baltimore.
Our reception venue is connected to a big hotel. All the girls stayed in H's and my 2-bed/2-bath suite (basically a condo) on the 20th floor, and the boys stayed in a suite just like ours on the 28th floor. We got ready in said suites the next day.
I think she's being a little ridiculous... you only live once.
I totally understand having fun, and I know that I can trust my husband.
However, I cannot trust his brothers and cousin. He went out with them the night before the rehearsal, and ended up drinking--not a lot--but more than he can tolerate, which was nothing to his brothers. I was mad that he was influenced so easily by them, but glad they didn't go out the night before the wedding.
He was totally out of comission the day of the rehearsal, and wasn't good for much at dinner. So he went to bed at 8:00. I stayed up for a bit at his parents' place, then went home to get last-minute stuff together, and stayed up late talking with my sister.
Oh, and my pastor threatened to not marry us if anyone in the wedding party showed up with evidence of having partied too hard the night before.