April 2008 Weddings
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
And it begins... (Vents)
Last week when DH and I went out for pizza with my parents, my mom asked if she could be in the delivery room. Without missing a beat, I answered absolutely not. I've thought about it before when it was brought up by some girls here on this board and some other boards. But my mom insisted that I have time, I may change my mind and want my mommy there. No way. 1) I'm not a teenager, 2) I'm not single and 3) I've never been "best friends" with my mom. We talk often, but I wouldn't call us close. If I go for 2 weeks without talking to her, I don't notice (may sound bad, but that's how it is, I catch her up on my life in batches, not as life goes, if that makes sense). I still am getting used to her 180 attitude change about me having kids. I was so scared to tell her at first, because her response about my future kids has always been "I'll be dead by then". So why would I be so comfortable with her now to say "yes be in the room"??
The cat's out of the bag with my CWs. They knew something was going on, looking sick, not being as social as normal. And I'm ok with them knowing. Except one. She's about 5 yrs younger than my mom, and loud. Now I admit now that I'm feeling better, I still and tired and a lil moody. But if I'm in a mood, I don't talk to anyone unless they talk to me, and then I'm pleasant. Basically, I try not to take it out on anyone that I'm not in a good mood, so I don't expose people to it. However, this CW has been calling me Grumpy, loudly, in front of other people. I have never gave anyone, especially her, attitude. And I'm sorry, but if someone is moody, calling them Grumpy does not keep you safe from a throat punch. Just sayin'. It puts me in a mood when I'm happy and content and she calls me that. A confrontation may be needed soon.
And I get that people are just trying to be helpful, but there are some things I kind of feel insulted when they tell me. Like "you shouldn't be cleaning the cat's litter!". I've had a cat the last 12 years, there's warnings on the litter bags. And, even though this is my first pregnancy, it wasn't an accident, and I educated myself on things (I know not all things, but as much as I found) before getting pg. I guess I just feel by people telling me the basic of basics, they're insulting me. I know they don't mean to, but I'd appreciate more in-depth comments. Plus, these people know I've been to the doc, and the basics have been covered there too.
I'm not a fan of people telling me how I feel at this point, because that's how they felt at this point in their pregnancy. Listen to me, I will tell you how I feel.
Oh, and the appropriate response when informed that I am pg, is not "better you than me". I guess I expected at least a "cool" from said CW. Not sure why. I guess I expect tact or class from people.
On a positive side, DH has been doing his research. This past weekend my one yoga pants with the elastic was too tight, so I couldn't wear them. While I was looking for something else, I yelled downstairs to Don "my sweatpants don't fit anymore! I need to find another pair of pants" he responded "is that because you've been losing so much weight that I've noticed?" Hahahaha right.
Sorry, just needed to lump my vents all together. Kudos to you for hanging in there
Re: And it begins... (Vents)
~~~MARRIED BIO~~~
Im sorry you have to go through all this. This should be a happy time for you. Your emotions are running high so yes, you will tend to be a little more moody at times. Has said CW ever had children? She must not if she dosent see your moodiness as pregnancy symptoms. She sounds like an AW herself. Making comments about you to seem cute, when all you and Im sure the rest of your staff would like to shove her down the stairs. (Cause thats what I feel like doing to her and I dont even know her)
The whole mom thing. Stick to your guns. She is your mom, but it dosent automaticly entitle her to a full pass into the delivery room. Grandparents sometimes seem to think they have parental rights. If the parents are ok with that (like I am) then so be it, if not she needs to be put in her place before the baby even gets here so she isnt expecting more than you are willing to give. From what you have said, you have always made sure you keep your mom at arms length and if you dont feel comfortable with it, than dont do it.
I am so glad that Don is trying to keep you upbeat and happy. Nothing can make the moody days, obnoxious people in general and nutty parents go away like a solid support system from your husband. My confidence levels fluxuate in my life so often, but I can tell you one thing, When I know Chris is right behind me to support me in everything I do, nothing can bring me down.
Good luck and I hope things get better.
I get that this is a vent. And yes YOU and DH get to decide who is in the delivery room. Mom will have to get over it. Especially if you aren't close with her. You will hurt lots of feelings however its what makes you guys happy.
Again I know this is a vent, while I don't know you personally - I do care about you and your bebe!. You aren't changing the cats litter are you? This is one thing DH my whole 9 months. (I know you didn't ask for advice - sorry)
Keep your head up Nicole. Oh and as far as the co-worker. Kick her in the throat ha ha
Decide very carefully who will be in the delivery room with you. I had Shane, my mom and my best friend. My mom and I are VERY close and I wanted her in there and my best friend took pics and video. I hurt my MIL's feeling when I told her that she could not be in there and she tried her best to stay. They came in to check me and she just sat there and I garbbed my mom and told her to "get her out!!!!" There are some things not meant to share with my MIL and my vagina is one of those!
Aww, Nicole. Sending you hugs. I can understand how you are feeling. I felt like I was hungover my entire first trimester and did not feel like myself at all. I was lucky that no one pointed out how unsocial I was, but I would seriously pull that co-worker aside and tell her to knock it off. If you don't think she would be receptive to you, talk to your supervisor. I remember there was a lady on the Bump that had to go to HR because she had a co-worker constantly harassing her about things like that and they sent that co-worker to sensitivity training.
Regarding your mom, like PP's said, stick to your guns. I am super close to my mom, but I told her she couldn't come in the room with me because I knew it would crush MIL and FIL if they couldn't come in and I didn't want a situation like Lindsey just described. My mom was hurt, but she's getting over it. Besides, she made a snide remark about a month or two back about me being stupid for not wanting to have an epi and I told her "and this is exactly why you are not invited. You can't be supportive of my decision not to have drugs and I'm not going to have you in the room with me making remarks about 'maybe you should get that epi now.'"
With the cat litter, I know where you are coming from in continuing to change it. My cat is 10 and has always been in the house and has never been outside a day in her life. I know that she does not have toxoplasmosis and it would be okay for me to change the litter. But I still don't. Let your husband do it. If nothing else, it's one less thing for you to worry about, especially when you're not feeling well.
I hope things get better for you. Hang in there!
This. Had my mom been able to get an earlier flight she most definitely would have been in the delivery room with Joe and I. We are very close so I hadn't thought twice about her NOT being there.
First, I love this "if someone is moody, calling them Grumpy does not keep you safe from a throat punch" that one made me laugh out loud.
and Second, Don is sweet with his losing weight comment. At least he's trying not to get throat punched
But, for real, I don't blame you on not wanting your mom in there. Steve told me one day I would so that basically he could get his mom in there (because she wants to be in there). I veto'd that right quick. And I'm close with my mom but still she doesn't want to be all in my business any more than I want her there.
Also, I'm sorry your CWs are being annoying and providing unsolicited advice. I suspect you will have to grin and bear that one only because of some of the other stories you've told us. Or you could throat punch them. I would like to hear one of your stories end in that one day