Slump? (First post)

caseface5 · August 2010

Hi everyone. This is my first time posting on the Nest but I have a question and I'm hoping to get some advice. BF and I have been together a while and lately he's been having a problem. Every time we have had sex lately, he goes really quickly. He is starting to get aggravated with it too, and it is almost like he would rather not do it at all, then to try to fix the problem. He's embarrassed that he's going so quickly.

I wonder if the problem might be oral sex before we engage. I think it might be that I get him really close to going before we begin, and that he is already there, which might be the problem. He insists on trying to just fix it on his own.

Has anyone else dealt with this before? Or anyone have advice on trying to help him through this?

future_harmeyer · August 2010

How quick does the 2nd time come to an end?

Im sorry I have no real advice, helpful tips or other questions. Im kinda dealing with the opposite problem right now.

adrenalin939 · August 2010

This happened to us for a little while and he found that two things work: he thinks about other things, like baseball or something (I know it sounds cliche, but it worked for him so I'm not complaining). The second thing that worked was my suggestion, and that is to use less hip thrust - haha hard to word. He just doesn't curl his hips as much at the beginning. Once we are both close, then he goes at it harder. When I am on top, I convince him to lay there and enjoy the view instead of "helping". He's no marathon man, but I have noticed a huge difference! Every guy is different though. If I were you, I would also experiment with less oral beforehand to see if that does the trick. GL!

GCsn2bRhds · August 2010

Before we got married and started being sexually active, we had the same problem. I think he was so excited he didn't know how to "control" his excitement. We also tried thinking about something else and it worked for us too. We've also found that when he's on top he lasts longer. After some more discussions and experiments about what would work and what wouldn't, it slowly got better over time. We learned to appreciate our bodies rather than just focus on having sex alone. Explore your levels of arousal. It's not real specific advice because all guys are different. GL.

MrsJennJenn · August 2010

This happens to my hubby occasionally [I'd say once every six months or so]. He gets really upset about it, which adds to the problem. I would tend to agree with some others who suggested it's the oral before. Most men LOVE oral, and it gets them more excited than anything else, apparently.

Maybe suggest getting him off with oral first, then give him like ten minutes [maybe have him touch you for a while], then you could try having sex.

It seems like the second time takes a little longer. I don't know if that's true for all men, but it works for DH.

katlyn1025 · August 2010

My DH has the same problem. What helps for him is less skin on skin. He says that when there is more contact its harder for him not to get so excited. Its also harder for him if I really move alot, so sometimes i have to let him do all the work (cant really complain there lol). Also when having sex take a break every now and then to let him calm down. Just kiss or touch for a minute and then get back to it. Its amazing what those short breaks can do. Hope this helps! GL

Slump? (First post)

Re: Slump? (First post)

Choose Another Board

Search Boards