Oklahoma Nesties
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WWYD?

My SIL is getting married in October. I got an invitation in the mail yesterday for her bridal shower and her bachelorette party... they're on September 11th. I already have plans for that day - an OSU football game.

I feel pretty darn selfish for saying that I'm not going to her shower and party because I'm going to the game - which I bought season tickets for several months ago. BUT, at the same time, SIL and I don't really get along and I don't mesh well with her group of people which will be throwing/attending these events. And, (holy-moly I feel like I childish brat for saying this) she didn't attend any of my showers. On top of that, the invite said not to bring any gifts because she's picked out things she wants out of a catalog (I think it's one of those Ladie's Only sex party things) and we can just pick something from there to buy her - that's not word for word, but it's more or less what the invite says.

What would you do? Would you skip a full day of complete fun with your family and friends and college football that you've paid for and have been planning for a long time? Or, would you go to SIL's shower/party even thought you don't mesh well with SIL or her friends and really don't even talk to her but a handful of times a year because... well, she's your SIL?

Like I said, I feel totally and completely selfish and childish for wanting to go to the game over the shower and for stating some of those things... but, I'm having a conflict with it.

"Always have faith in God, yourself, and the Cowboys...'-Eddie Sutton

Re: WWYD?

  • I would go to the football game and have fun instead of going to the party and feeling out-of-place. You have valid reasons for not wanting to go, especially since you've had plans for this day for months. If your SIL is resentful that you can't come, she's not the type of person you want to spend a whole day with anyway.
    imageimage
  • Football game. No contest. Just order a shower present online on her registry and have it shipped to her with your regrets for being unable to attend.
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  • You already had plans, you paid for the tickets. There is nothing to debate here Wink
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  • Awesome! I was afraid y'all would tell me that I should really go to the shower because she's my SIL and blah blah blah!  Now I don't feel so bad about it!
    "Always have faith in God, yourself, and the Cowboys...'-Eddie Sutton

  • yea, I would just tell her you are so sorry you can't make it.  I don't think I would tell her why, just that you can't go.

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  • Here's my take on it. If you thought there was a realistic chance that you and your SIL would be BFFs in the next 2-3 years, you should probably go. It doesn't sound like that's the case, though, which is totally ok. My SIL and I will never be close. That's ok. She's a nice woman; I'm a nice woman. We just don't have much in common.

    Since it sounds like you're just two different people, though, I'd let her know that you're sorry, but you already have plans, send her a fabulous gift with a super sweet card (so she has no room to complain AND won't hold it against you in case you do become good friends over the next 50-60 years), and enjoy the football game guilt free!

  • imageamanjay:

    Here's my take on it. If you thought there was a realistic chance that you and your SIL would be BFFs in the next 2-3 years, you should probably go. It doesn't sound like that's the case, though, which is totally ok. My SIL and I will never be close. That's ok. She's a nice woman; I'm a nice woman. We just don't have much in common.

    Since it sounds like you're just two different people, though, I'd let her know that you're sorry, but you already have plans, send her a fabulous gift with a super sweet card (so she has no room to complain AND won't hold it against you in case you do become good friends over the next 50-60 years), and enjoy the football game guilt free!

    This is pretty much it. We don't have one single thing in common. If we weren't "related" we would, in no shape or form, even associate with each other. It's not that I don't like her - I find her annoying and irritating at times - but I don't not like her. Thanks for the input!

    "Always have faith in God, yourself, and the Cowboys...'-Eddie Sutton

  • When it comes to your time and doing something you WANT to do versus something you feel like you HAVE to do, it's okay to be selfish IMO.
     
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  • I'm going to be the odd man out and say go to the shower because she's family. Sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do because they're family. Is there any way you can do both? Drop in give the gift and then leave because you have other obligations?
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  • If you and SIL don't get along, then she probably won't be all that disappointed that you're not there.  I don't mean that in a snarky way or anything, but if I was just inviting people to something to be polite, then I might be a little relieved if they had other plans.  As far as I see it, it's probably a win-win if you go to the football game. 
  • I always pick OU football over other people's showers/weddings, etc.  This is Oklahoma.  If you want people to attend, don't plan your crap in the Fall on a game day (even if you have no connection toward either school, most people do!!). Better yet, if 100% of your friends went to OU, don't have your wedding OU/TX weekend and be p!ssed when no one shows up!!!!!
  • Yeah...I agree about going to the game. Just send a gift and call it even.

    I skip showers and parties during football season, too. People who don't live in football towns think I'm nuts. *shrugs*

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  • Go to the game. It's not like it's her wedding your missing. Me and my own sister didn't even go to each others Bach parties so I don't think it will be that big of a deal especially since you all don't hang out anyway.
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  • UH, you better be going to the game because I'm pretty sure you already told me you'd be there!  Seriously though, I doubt your SIL really cares if you're there or not. 

    And, the "don't bring a gift, buy me a sex toy" thing is really klassy.  That would have been my decision maker to begin with.

  • imagestripesandspots:
    I always pick OU football over other people's showers/weddings, etc.  This is Oklahoma.  If you want people to attend, don't plan your crap in the Fall on a game day (even if you have no connection toward either school, most people do!!). Better yet, if 100% of your friends went to OU, don't have your wedding OU/TX weekend and be p!ssed when no one shows up!!!!!

    This too! 

    One of my friends is getting married homecoming weekend!  Hello!  Does "America's greatest homecoming celebration" mean nothing to you?!  Needless to say, I won't be attending (the wedding).

  • imageostatekris05:

    imagestripesandspots:
    I always pick OU football over other people's showers/weddings, etc.  This is Oklahoma.  If you want people to attend, don't plan your crap in the Fall on a game day (even if you have no connection toward either school, most people do!!). Better yet, if 100% of your friends went to OU, don't have your wedding OU/TX weekend and be p!ssed when no one shows up!!!!!

    This too! 

    One of my friends is getting married homecoming weekend!  Hello!  Does "America's greatest homecoming celebration" mean nothing to you?!  Needless to say, I won't be attending (the wedding).

    I love these! I missed one game last year because I was IN a wedding. I seriously debated on telling the bride that I couldn't be there because I had a football game to attend. Then I felt like a huuuuuge biitch, so I didn't and just sucked it up and went to the wedding.

    I guess if you don't "do college football" you just don't understand. SMH.

    No worries - the game it is! And, like PP said - SIL will probably be relieved that I don't show up.

    "Always have faith in God, yourself, and the Cowboys...'-Eddie Sutton

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