I got into a huge argument with my boss tonight and I have lost all respect for him. We were trying to clear things up today and his response to me was "I'm sorry that you were offended by what I said." Not "I'm sorry for what I said".
This is the second time I have encountered a male that is unable to say he is sorry for his actions. My FIL also thinks it's okay to make apologies this way. To me it basically says I'm apologizing to smooth things over but I'm still right and you're crazy. Thank God I am married to a man who is big enough to admit when he is wrong and has made a mistake.
So I'm curious, do your husbands sincerely apologize to you? Have you met other people in your life who are like this?
Re: A vent and a question
It's not easy to get him to apologize sincerely. But he has, when something had really upset me; though, I can't actually name a specific instance when this has happened.
He is a fan of, "I'm sorry you feel that way." I hate how that spins it back on me, as if I am wrong for feeling whatever I feel. Can't really help feeling. H doesn't really ever show emotion (not really sure i he really has any...) and he is sometimes confused with mine.
There are a few people who like to spin an apology back to me so that it's somehow my fault. So frustrating. DH is pretty good about his apologies though, and we try to fight fair and respect each other even if we disagree or argue but it does takes effort and practice.
I'm also usually bothered when someone says "No offense but. . ." That usually means the statement will tick me off somehow.
I hate it when people say that too. Like saying "No offense" is supposed to make what they are about to say sound even better,
DH and I both are pretty good about apologizing when we know when we are at fault. Although sometimes especially if we both get to where we can't really agree then one of us will try to smooth it over with "I'm sorry you feel that way" or "I'm sorry I offended you". Doesn't always work though.
Sorry your boss was such a douche to you. That's always the worst.
He often says "I am sorry you feel this way..." because quite often, *I* am the one acting like a douche and not him and generally there is no reason for him to apologize.
I am THAT wife.
Are you surprised?
My old boss would never apologize for what he did. Which would piss me off to no end. Didn't help that my female bosses blamed me for crap, too.
H is really good about apologizing - and meaning it. I know he means it when he explains what he did wrong and why he's sorry...if he just says sorry, he totally doesn't mean it (and probably means I overreacted).