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I thought it was over -more w/the boss
Ugh, I have been on one helluva emotional roller coaster since Thursday. Yesterday after I got my termination letter via Fed-Ex, I sent my boss an email and I told her I'd be by this morning at 7:30 to pick up my personal belongings and my letter of recommendation. I also asked her why she is really doing this because there has to be more to it than what she is/was saying. She said there wasn't. She just saw how upset I was at our meeting and she doesn't think I could be happy there and she can't offer me what I want, etc. She did leave me a check for severance pay (or guilt money, take it however you will.)
I wrote her a letter last night saying I wasn't going to dwell on this and this letter would be my last communication regarding this situation. I explained my feelings and how I was willing to give it a shot and I wanted it to work with her again and how grateful and appreciative I was of her offer, but she had her mind made up and made it sound like I'd be miserable there and never gave me an opportunity to try this new position. She also made me feel very unwanted. She told me to take my time on Thursday when we met, yet two business days after our meeting (Tuesday) I get a letter terminating me?? I also told her how I valued her as a person and I was appreciative of all the experiences and opportunities she gave me over the last three years, blah, blah and if she ever needed my help or if I could ever assist her in any way, to let me know and I'll be there to help. I wanted to end it on a good note and not burn this bridge just yet. I was very sincere and told her when reading this letter to know I was sincere and very humble and not to translate this letter with any animosity. It was very professional (I had my mom's help) and thought I had ended our relationship on a good note. (It was a lot longer than that, one and a half pages, but this is the jist of it.)
I was not expecting to hear back from her other than maybe a thank you. Today I get an e-mail from her thanking me for the letter and she realized she had given me the wrong impression. She wanted me to take the offer but never told me that. She realizes now that while she was disappointed in me and my reaction, I too was disappointed in her reaction to me and neither of us gave each other the benefit of sharing our true feelings. (Although I told her my true feelings on the phone Friday when she called to tell me it wouldn't work and it would be a waste of time for me to come back.)
She said she wants a few days to pass and let our emotions calm down and then maybe we could meet again?? She doesn't want to leave it this way and said she was crying as she was writing this e-mail to me. Then she says, "Assuming our employment relationship is still over, I still want to be friends."
When I left the office this morning, that was my closure. I was over it. I was fine. I was emotionally drained and I didn't want to cry or think about it any more. I was ready to move on. Then I get this. Why is she doing this to me??? I have not responded, nor have I decided if I will.
There is no way I could ever go back there. So I'm not sure what another meeting would do except drag out this dreadful situation longer. My feelings aren't going to change. I feel betrayed and that's all there is to it. I'm not sure why she has such a strong desire to be friends. I guess to make her feel less guilty?
Anyway, I'm emotionally drained and have a huge headache, so I'm going to take a nap. Just wanted to give you-all the latest update. Thanks for all the sweet words of kindness and hugs! 
Re: I thought it was over -more w/the boss
Not to be a biitch, but I think she realized she messed up while firing you while out on STD, and now wants to cover her butt by possibly re-hiring you. Then if you go back, she might decide within 90 days that things aren't working, and let you go. I agree that there is something more that she isn't telling you.
I wouldn't even consider working for her again.
Southeastern Cycling
My Nest Bio and Cycling Advice
Having dealt with a douche-tastic boss less than 6 months ago in a situation where he threatned to fire me for no reason etc etc, then tried to hold me with a ridic contract and non-compete bs when I quit, I can say with full confidence- see a lawyer if nothing else than to help you sleep better at night. I had worked myself into a straight up freenzy about quiting- ladies on here will attest- and talking to a lawyer calmed me and made me confident when I did have interaction with Capt suck @$$.
While I have full confidence and that he still talks sh*t about me and tries his hardest to find out where I am working so that he can sue me for this that or the other, I still left him with no opportunity to say anything bad about me that was true. I'm glad that I know my rights, but glad that I kept my nose clean.
I'd say- cash that check, talk to a lawyer, know your rights and move on w/o further communication- oh and front and center on the unemployment line Sept 1. You don't owe her anything focus now on your career and what you want. It's no longer about letting someone ELSE control your future. You have the upperhand- keep it that way. With a smile, bless her heart.
I couldn't have said it any better. You deserve more than that and obviously she has changed (if she hadn't this wouldn't even be an issue and your employment would as it was). I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason and I know it's hard, but I think you should move forward with unemployment and try to find something else that you will be happy with and won't be taken for granted.
I'm sorry....(((hugs))) to you!
~~~MARRIED BIO~~~
I have not received a separation notice from her yet unless my letter of termination will suffice? I'm not sure. This has been my biggest concern - when I interview with other companies, they are going to want to know what happened. I mean three years is a long time and they will want to talk to her or know the story. She did write me a nice letter of recommendation. But back to being fired or let go, I'm not sure. It seems she fired me since the position is still available.
I was out for nine months. I went out in December and was in and out of the hospital since March. I would go in and try to work but obviously I couldnt' fully do my job. I'd make it in around 10:00 or so and try to stay until 5, but if I was really sick I'd leave earlier. I DID TRY. She told me to go out on disability and I officially went out in Feb and started drawing in March. I was admitted to the hospital four times from Dec to March. I have since found the reason for my sickness and my disability runs out Aug 31 and I am fully healed and fully capable of returning to work and resuming my previous duties. Any future employer would be skeptical knowing that I am fully healed and can return, the position is/was available but she chose not to bring me back? I just feel like this is going to cause problems for me in the future.
I think you may want to ask her if she can tell future employees that you were laid off. If she has all other positive things to say then you should be fine. You can explain that it was a small company and they weren't doing well because of the economy. That is probably partially true. Just have a simple "story" and stick to it. That is enough.
~~~MARRIED BIO~~~
Future employers don't need to know the details of your being on disability or illness. I would hope that your old boss wouldn't mention it to them.
With your interviews - with the economy the way it is, I doubt it would even matter that you worked for someone for 3 yrs and aren't working for them anymore. To be completely honest, 3 yrs isn't really that long in terms of employment histories. With so many people out of work, I doubt that it would matter at all.
I have never been interviewed for a job where I wasn't asked why I left( or was trying to leave) . If the OP is honest and says it was because she was out, that is going to work against her as people don't want to hire individuals they think will be absent frequently. From the looks of her post's I believe her former boss will mention her sickness if called for a recommendation. Especially since it appears both the OP and Boss were personally hurt by the latest chain of events.
OP, I am normally a PCEr and know a couple of the ladies are knwloedgable about employment law. So if you receive advice from people who don't live in Atlanta this is why.