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I don't know what to think about this

I was sick last night and went to bed pretty early and Connor did as well.  

Apparently at some point last night the guy I have been seeing came over and (with David's help) brought in and set up a big Thomas and Friends Train Table with tracks, trains, accessories, etc. for Connor.

I know this was meant as a nice gesture, but something just rubs me wrong.  What do you think?

It's about 3' x 2' x 1'.  Connor loves trains and will love this toy, but it's too big to really go in his bedroom and that's a pretty foffing expensive toy to give someone's kid without talking to them about it first right? 

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Re: I don't know what to think about this

  • I can see being a little upset being that he didn't talk about it with you beforehand, especially since it's a larger gift.  I also think it's kind of sweet that he wanted to surprise Connor (and you) and have it all set up.
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    "Once I got a bath bomb that, once exploded, filled the tub with confetti. Little sharp metallic pieces of confetti. The product description said nothing about confetti. Oh look, there's a tiny, sharp metallic blue star stabbing me in the labia. HOW RELAXING. " - NoisyPenguin
  • Wow, that is a huge gift to get a kid for anything, much less a random gift from a non-parent.  I would be rubbed the wrong way.

    I am sure he was trying to be sweet (from our discussions he is a nice guy), but I would have a talk with him.  A gift that big should've been saved for a birthday or another big event and you should've been involved.

  • hmm, how long have been dating him? 

    yeah, that *** isn't cheap, but he obviously knows that and bought it anyway.  Would you really make him take it back?  I'd  thank him and let him know that it was very generous, but in the future you'd like him to run it by you before buying something so big and expensive. 

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  • he came over while you were sleeping and did this?   Are you guys at the point where that's okay or is it just the money spent that's bothering you?

    Although, i don't think it's that interchangeable.   If you arent' comfortable with him spending a lot of money on your kid, you probably aren't into him wandering in while you're sleeping?

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  • Who is David? I wouldn't love it either, but It seems well intentioned but poorly thought out. Is it weird that he snuck into your place. That part kind of icks me out.
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  • imagesamfish2bcrab:

    he came over while you were sleeping and did this?   Are you guys at the point where that's okay or is it just the money spent that's bothering you?

    Although, i don't think it's that interchangeable.   If you arent' comfortable with him spending a lot of money on your kid, you probably aren't into him wandering in while you're sleeping?

    Yeah, both are an issue.  It weirds me out that he was here while I was sleeping and didn't wake me up / talk to me even though my brother was here and my brother was here and talked to him.

    I'm not saying he needs to take it back, because obviously Connor has already seen it and loves it, but I probably would have nixed the idea in advance. 

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  • imageChristinS:
    Who is David? I wouldn't love it either, but It seems well intentioned but poorly thought out. Is it weird that he snuck into your place. That part kind of icks me out.

    David is my brother, who lives here with me. 

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  • It makes it 1000% less creppy that David was there. It's not Connie's birthday? It smacks off trying a little to hard.
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  • Nope, his birthday is in like a month.

    However, I did talk to David and he said that Steve got it (secondhand obviously) as a thank you for fixing someone's boat, so at least he didn't go spend a truckload of money on it and that he just wanted it to be a surprise.   

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  • When I first read this, I forgot that your brother lived with you and I thought David was your ex.  THAT would be really weird.
  • okay, brother being there helps enormously, the fact that it was a gift also helped.   Conclusion: well intentioned, but needs a little "you know, I'm not sure I'm ready to move this fast" sort of talk
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  • Sounds like he was trying to do something sweet but didn't quite think it all the way through.

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    Claire Elizabeth 12/31/2011
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  • imagesamfish2bcrab:
    Conclusion: well intentioned, but needs a little "you know, I'm not sure I'm ready to move this fast" sort of talk

    I concur.

    The fact that he got it as a thank you and that David was there make me feel a WHOLE lot better about it.  But still, he should have run it by you first.


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    The nerve!
    House | Blog
  • imageKayRI:
    When I first read this, I forgot that your brother lived with you and I thought David was your ex.  THAT would be really weird.

    No kidding, although I have known someone who did live with her new husband, a (former?) lover, and ex husband all at the same time.  Lanieface. 

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  • I think it was sweet and well intentioned.  But the fact that it set off alarms in your head probably mean you should set some very clear boundaries with him since it sounds like he feels you two are in a more comfortable place than you feel you are.
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    "That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
  • imageCaliopeSpidrman:
    I think it was sweet and well intentioned.  But the fact that it set off alarms in your head probably mean you should set some very clear boundaries with him since it sounds like he feels you two are in a more comfortable place than you feel you are.

    I agree with this completely.

    I have had several single mom friends have to set major boundaries while dating.

  • I agree about the boundaries, and it's been discussed, so I thought I had set some boundaries, but apparently that conversation needs to happen again.
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