April 2010 Weddings
Sweet moment with SD
Me & Dad
May Siggy - Favorite Flower : Yellow Jonquill
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
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How do/did you...
...know when you were ready for a baby? I keep going back & forth & b/c of my age (34) I feel like we need to make the decision fairly soon.
Sweet moment with SD
Me & Dad
May Siggy - Favorite Flower : Yellow Jonquill
Re: How do/did you...
oh good question!!
I'm sort of in the same boat. On the HM I told DH that I wanted to start trying the fall of 2011 (I'll be 31 then) because we had some things to take care of around the house and I wanted to be financially stable.
There are some days where I think we should start trying NOW and other days where I don't even know if I want a kid......
Shmel's Blog
I've always known I wanted children some day, and when my sister had kids and I got so attached to them that really confirmed it for me. As for when - I'm 37, and I actually was ready to have a baby a few years ago. I think I just felt that I was financially in good shape, and I'd done so many cool things in my life that I wouldn't be missing out on anything.
Of course, I was single up until 3 years ago. I know this is controversial, but when I was like 32/33 I decided I would give it a few more years and if I hadn't met someone, I would pursue having a child on my own. I had it worked out where my mom would move in with me and be the nanny. Fortunately I started dating DH at 34 so it didn't come to that - I know being a single mother would have been REALLY tough but the alternative of never having a child was unthinkable to me.
I've always said that one of the main things I wanted to do with my life is raise a child, and since I'm running out of time - there's no time like the present!
Honestly, I don't think you can ever be "ready". It's such a huge life change!
TTC #1 since 4/10, Dx: MFI IVF planned for April/May
Great question!
The one thing that I know for sure is that we will not start trying until I am done with grad school (less than a year to go), kus I am too stressed out working full time and going to school that I dont want to be pregnant on top of that (probably not healthy for anyone involved).
I am 30, so I feel somewhat rushed because of that (and my parents are older and I want them to know their grand kids). We both want kids, and honestly we are ready other than the school thing. We have said that we want to do a big Europe trip before kids, but we have said that if that does not hapen then no big deal.
And just like Mel said, there are some days when really I want to start trying now, and other days where I am not totally sure that I want them...
I also have a huge fear that we will not conceive easily (no basis, just a fear) so for that reason I dont want to wait too long
I know how I know I'm NOT ready for a baby and his name is Bruce. Not that we were considering having children anytime soon anyway, but having a puppy (and the fights we've gotten in over him - though they are basically over now that we've gotten in a routine) taught us that we were so not prepared for the responsibility of an actual human child. We have had to give up some things for the dog (going away spontaneously for the weekend, going out on the boat w/ our friends before we could leave him long enough in his crate) and determined that we are not willing at this point in time to give up any more than we have, which a baby would require.
That said, I think you do have to be realistic and consider your age (though i wouldn't say you have to do it NOWRIGHTNOW) and whether you would want more than one child (other than SD of course).
LOL!
I keep putting this decision off too! I know that I definitely want to wait until after grad school and DH and I settle down somewhere, but I'm sure I will be just as busy then as I am now! Right now, our goal is to start trying before my 30th birthday (4.5 years away :P)
Post-Wedding Life Blog!
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DH and I really want to have a house and be settled for a couple of years but DH is also going to be 38 in October so we can't wait TOO long.
I know that I will never get over my anxiety of being pregnant or giving birth so I need to put that out of my mind but more and more as I'm seeing babies and friends babies I'm thinking how much I would love to have one. But I remind myself I want my company to be up and running. I also want DH and I to enjoy being a couple and we would like to add a puppy to our family first.
So for us its about achieving goals as opposed to a "feeling" of ready because I think we "feel" ready as a couple.
Tales From a Kitchen Misfit
<a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="D
I am SO GLAD that there are other women that feel this way!!!! I thought that I was the only one flip-flopping & fearing that I'd have a hard time conceiving at the same time. Yay.
This....I feel like wanting a kid right now comes from what is "expected" of us. But part of me....might be ok without any. I dunno. I guess this means I am not ready! LOL
We both want kids in the worst way. With me losing my job, it's made us really think about things lately. While we are not doing anything to not get pregnat, I wouldn't say we are actively trying right now either.
The idea of being a mom excites and terrifies me at the same time. I know that we will both make great parents, but I think it's more of the fear of the unknown.
I've always wanted to be a mom in theory (I've had so much fun with my parents I can't wait to share that with my own children), but life circumstances didn't come around until now. While DH and I have been together for 8 years, we were long-distance for half of that, and it took us a long while for both of us to be ready to get married (well, I was ready sooner, but we were both nervous about taking the plunge; we both wanted to make sure this was "it" - blame it on two sets of divorced parents!).
I can't say that through all of this I wasn't aware that my bio clock was ticking louder and louder (I'm 39, about to turn 40, actually), so DH knew that once we got married I wanted us to start trying right away. So, while yes, mentally I'm torn - I still feel like a kid and worry how much a baby will change our lives, there's no way I would be content to NOT try to have kids. I hope we didn't wait too long (and we're actually starting to get tested to see if we're going to need help getting pregnant), but we honestly wouldn't have been ready before this, either. We're not as financially stable as we'd like, but really, we cannot wait. So, we'll see.
I think in the end for me it comes down to, no, I may not feel I'm 100% ready (like pp said, you're never really ready), but I'm definitely NOT ready to give up the dream of bearing and raising my own biological children.
photo by Scott Metzger
kikijbird ~ Erica (aka Kiki) & Paul ~ 24 April 2010
The JBirds Bio ~ Updated 03.02.10 - Invites!