Sex & Romance
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Newlywed phase!?
My H and I got married almost 3 months ago and soon after we got married we had to move in with his parents
It wasnt planned we knew we were moving near them bc of his job but they pushed the date of his new job up and our apartment wasnt ready yet, so we did what we had to
However I now feel like it kind of ruined our "newlywed" time, we our in our own place and I always just thought as soon as we had more privacy and alone time that would all change, it hasnt
I guess what im asking is some advice on ways to stop this now and get us back into our "newlywed" phase
Re: Newlywed phase!?
To be honest I wouldn't worry too much about the fact that you might not be having sex constantly as long as you're still having sex. Don't worry about the "honeymoon phase" people go through different phases all the time in their relationships and everyone of them are different.
If you want to spice things up though and let your H know that you're up for more then take action. Have lingerie on when he gets home. visit a sex shop together to pick out a new toy or get ideas on what you might want to do to each other. Play with him a bit in a more public place...wake him up with a BJ.
Don't worry so much about phases though and just have fun with each other.
Don't you *not* have more privacy and alone time, because of the 'rents?
It sounds like this is a temporary thing, until your apartment is ready/his job starts. So, at least there's a deadline on this slumpy period, right?
we already moved out and things havent really changed, thats why im worried =( we didnt really have any privacy at his parents house and so i just thought by the time we moved into our own place it would just change and it hasnt
well i guess i cant say it hasnt chagned it has just not a whole lot
what can i do to make it even better??
Very few things in marriage "just change" without a decision--conscious or unconscious--on someone's part!
DH and I live with his mom, and recently his brother came to join the madness. The thing that keeps our sanity and newlyweddedness is "couple time." Once or twice a week, we just hang out in the bedroom together. We watch a movie or he plays on his computer while I read a book on the bed. For some reason, this is different for us than watching TV in the living room, and even if we are doing different activities, being in close proximity without the in-and-out of passing time in the living room lets us feel more couple-y.
Our other "couple time" thing is more obvious: date night. So far, it isn't much; we just go out to eat or see a movie together when we need some time as a couple. My brother and his wife actually put date night on the calendar, and they have two free dates (picnics, flying kites) and two paid dates (museums, concerts) a month.
I want to encourage you to think more about enjoying time with your husband than to try to get back a certain feeling. You will go through many different phases with your spouse, and because you will be changing all the while, it would be unnatural to get the same feeling through all the stages. However, if you think over what specifically gave you good feelings (eg, I loved it when we would wake up together late on Saturday morning and just cuddle for a long time without thinking about showers or food), then of course you can let your hubby know you want to re-create those things.
Above all, you may need to talk to your DH about this. If you don't want him to feel like you are in crisis mode, you could just say, "I feel less like a newlywed than I thought I would this soon after the wedding. What could we do together to get that newlywed feeling tonight?" If he is like my husband, he would raise an eyebrow at me and reach for his buttons, lol. But then he would probably take me to dinner.
I completely agree with this. DH and I currently live with my parents (which sucks), but we try to do this. It helps a lot.
I agree with this. DH and I didn't really have a "honeymoon phase"...I mean we had a little more sex than what we used to, but not a whole lot more. We've been married for a little over a year now, and we are having more sex now than ever before. Everyone is different. I wouldn't worry about it unless you aren't happy with your sex life, otherwise just give it time...and sometimes you'll have more/less sex than other times...it's just how it is. Just have fun with each other!