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Question - kid's school
Since I've known Amanda her mom never struck me as being too interested or involved in things regarding her school. For example, she would bring home all kinds of notices in elementary school that Mike would find when going thru her backpack, and when we'd ask about them she always told us her mom never read anything she brought home from school because she "didn't have time." Seriously? No time for your kid and what she brings home from school?
Anyhow they have this thing called Powerschool where you have a user name and passowrd for your kid so you can check their grade status, tests, school work, their class schedule, team (the 6th and 7th grade classes are broken down into 3 teams for the class rotation) and school supply list. Well, Brighty threw out her password to get on there to find out where Amanda has to go on her first day, etc. Seriously?? Amanda is panicking because she doesnt' know what team she's on, what classes she has, and where she's supposed to go first on the 7th. My co worker has a son that goes to school with her and she told me to call the school and have them send it to me but I don't know if that would be overstepping my boundaries as a step-parent. I think both parents should have this password, whether or not they're married, divorced, etc.; so I don't see the harm in Mike having it as well. But at the same time I don't want her mom to come biittching at me that it's not my place to step in on her "territory" when it comes to Amanda's school. WDYT?
Re: Question - kid's school
I think its best if your husband does this and calls the school. Absolutely, Your husband needs the password too.
Like it or not... your her mother too now...and shes just going to have to deal with it. Espec if she wont participate on things so important like her education.
Amanda is really lucky to have you in her life.
SD's mom is the same way. She has said to us & to SD several times, "I don't do school." Whatever lady. She's your child. You don't get to pick & choose the parts of her life that you want to be involved in - you're her mom - you're involed in all of them like it or not! Whew! I feel a bit better now.
Cindy, I don't think there's a problem calling to school & telling them who you are and that you need Amanda's password b/c it was misplaced. I would refrain form saying that her mother lost it b/c that makes it look like you're laying blame & the school won't want to get in the middle of that. SD's school does the same thing & I check it pretty frquently to make sure that she's not late to school, doing poorly, or has assignment coming up that she needs to get a head start on. Sd really lokes that I know what's going on & am organized & prepared to help her. It 's our SD's that we care & we're there to help them out. In SD's case it takes a bit of the pressure off since she now has both me & DH to help.
I don't think you're overstepping at all. You and Mike are a team now whether Mom likes it or not. Boy do I understand that being a stepmom is a fine line to walk. BM got upset this week b/c I said that I know she hated that she had to move twice this summer. I meant it nicely but I think she (unfortunately) took as judgemental which is not AT ALL how I intended it. ::SIGH::
This exactly. Since we deal with divorces at the office, I see this quite a bit. Both parents should be listed as legal guardians and should receive their own password if divorced. Hopefully the school cooperates with you and Mike in getting your own password.
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I agree that is lame when the mom's don't seem to care about their schoolwork. My situation is that the mom pretends to care, but her actions don't show it. She is too involved in her own schoolwork, to take a little time out for her kids. (She's going to school to be a nurse anethestist, which I'm sure is hard, but still you can't put your kids completely on the backburner- or at least ask for more help from us if needed!)
Anyway, if I were in your situation and Mike wasn't calling, I'd ask him to. He should be involved too, looking at this stuff. Even if he gets the info, gives it to you and you help keep him in the loop by logging on together. Alex logs on himself (I don't have the info but I'm sure he'd give it to me in a heartbeat if I asked) and lets me know how things are going. Definitely get listed as a guardian for school though.
These kids are lucky that us stepmoms are there for them! They need a supportive, stable environment and that's what we're giving them :-) It's just a shame their stepmoms are the way they are. But they'll figure it out as they get a little older, TRUST ME. SS, Reid, (14) has already figured it since last year or so. And we never talk bad about their mom in front of them so we didn't help him figure that out. SD, Randi (11) still hasn't connected the dots but I'm sure she will in time.
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