June 2009 Weddings
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WWYD - Family Issue

DH has a 13 YO cousin that got a cell phone over the summer and like any 13 YO girl with a cell phone, began texting away.  Because she is generally very shy and not all of her friends have phones, she does not have a lot of people she can text so she sends them to DH & I.  All. The. Time.

I have received 20+ messages in the past 3 days, all just complete random ramblings.  I know I could just talk to her about not texting so much but I'm not sure of the best way to approach it.  She is extremely self conscious so I don't want to hurt her feelings but it's not ok to text me from 5:30 am to midnight either.  I know it is because she is bored and lonely and I don't want her to think she can't ever text me, just keep it within reasonable hours and understand we can't always talk. 

How would you approach it?  What do you think are some reasonable boundries?

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Re: WWYD - Family Issue

  • I went through a similar situation with a family friend. I just stopped replying, they get the hint after a week or so.

    I would also say with the new baby, any kind of phone communication is difficult and needs to be within reasonable hours. My friend was a bit older (15)  and totally got it and wasn't hurt at all. Good luck!

  • I think I would use the baby as an excuse too... tell her no messages after 10 pm or something and then just don't respond as often - maybe she'll get the hint. 

    Another option would be to tell them that you are limited to a certain number of messages per month so she should only text you if she needs something or really wants to tell you something. 

  • I talked to DH about it since I received 4 or 5 during work today and he is going to talk to her about texting us at work.  I hope that will help cut down a little bit.  There have been a few times she has text when something was really wrong and I want to leave it open so she feels comfortable coming to me in those cases.  The baby/time idea is good so we will probably talk to her about that too.  Hopefully we can help her learn text more responsibly!
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  • It sounds like you got some really good advice and have an idea of where to go. You want to leave the communication open in case she really needs to talk to someone, but limiting the hours unless an emergency sounds like a great idea!
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