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WTH did he mean by that?? (long)
So, my parents are going through a divorce after 39 years of marriage. The only reason it's not a big issue for me and my brother is because 1) This is the second time my dad left (the first was in 2005 but he came back after 2 weeks) and 2) Even a blind person could see they have been having problems for as long as I can remember so it's more of a relief for me and my brother (and I guess, to a point, my parents as well).
So dad and I haven't spoken in a week and a half because I blew up at him about an email he sent telling me, DH, my brother, my SIL, my dad's sister and a family friend that he had left mom-- two days after he left, mind you. He texts me last night saying he wanted to talk and asked if I had calmed down, which I told him I had because stress is bad for baby.
So, we get on the phone and in the middle of the conversation, where he's telling me he hasn't been happy for a long time blahblahblah, he then says twice that he believed he and mom should never have gotten married.
How exactly am I supposed to take it when my dad tells me he should never have married my mother? You do realize I'm one of the products of this marriage. Does that mean my brother and I should never have come along as well? Or do you regret having us because that means you're stuck with mom forever through us? I didn't ask him to explain himself because I didn't want to get riled up about it.
So what do you think girls? And whatever names you feel like calling him, I don't care. I'm sure between the three of us, we have called him everything but a child of God LOL
Re: WTH did he mean by that?? (long)
No offense KeyRyn, but I think you're overreacting (I may be alone in this but JMO).
Obviously I don't know your relationship with your father. But just because he says that he should of never married your mother doesn't mean 1) he's talking to just talk; 2) he believes that you should have never come along; or 3) he regrets having you as children.
I know it's tough, but keep your head up. You have a great DH and extended family support system to get you through!
ETA: I took out personal information since KeyRyn had already read it so no need to keep it broadcasted on the interweb!
Misa, I get what you're saying, but I didn't get to explain the situation as much as I would have liked to. The Nest probably would have told me I exceeded the bandwidth of the site if I tried lol
But you are right about one thing, I'm sure he didn't mean he regretted my brother and I being born, especially since during the same conversation, he told me the only reason he stayed with my mom all those years is because of us. But my dad is an @$$hole, and frankly, I don't trust him and I haven't for a very long time (I'm talking from back in high school so it sounds like you and I both had a rough period there dad wise lol).
I dunno, I guess since it just happened 2 weeks ago, we're all still trying to adapt to the situation and that is going to take some time.
I agree that things are probably still "raw". At least this isn't coming completely out of left field, and honestly, it's probably for the best (especially for your mom).
There are so many couples that stay together just because there are children involved and sometimes I wish that parents would be adults and realize that bringing children up in an unhappy home (just generalizing, not saying this specific situation) isn't always what is best for the children, even though they think that it is.
If you need anything, you know where to find me!
(said shyly as to not stir trouble...) I agree with Misa. I don't think he meant his statement to include you. My dad and I have gone through a lot of roller coasters since my mom passed ten years ago and I have heard him grumble and complain and moan about my brother and me but I doubt he ever regretted the lengths he went to in order to have us kids.
Regardless of what he said or meant, it's been great having you on these boards and providing support.
BFP #1 2/28/12- 3/3/12 CP at 4w3d
BFP #2 4/1/12- 5/7/12 Missed M/C at 8w4d (measuring 6w3d)
TTC on hold until December
Well thank you ladies for your wise input as usual. I did overreact to what he said. I was talking to DH last night about it and it made me realize that we as a family have gotten so used to hiding/ignoring the problems and now that we actually have to face them, nobody knows how to handle it. lol
But don't worry, I really am doing fine and thank God we all have the support of loved ones to help us figure things out or even to just yell at if necessary :-) The one great thing (or possibly bad thing lol) out of this is that mom is planning on coming down here to help with the baby for a few months after he's born :-D