March 2010 Weddings
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
FB Posts
A family friend from back home just posted on FB that she is pregnant. When someone asked how far along she said......"3 weeks I will find out more on Wednesday". She is young (21) and just moved to AZ to be with her BF who is in the military. I mean it is so early that this could be a chemical pregnancy, you never know right. Maybe it's just me but I personally would never announce a pregnancy on FB before 2nd Trimester, for me I would probably wait until 20ish weeks (I've had an mc before). I don't even think I'll tell family until 2nd Tri, when we do ever get pregnant again.
What do you think, I know KeyRyn waited awhile before she made a FB announcement, what would you ladies do? What do you think is appropriate? I'm just curious.
TTC #1 Since July 2011
BFP #1 2/28/12- 3/3/12 CP at 4w3d
BFP #2 4/1/12- 5/7/12 Missed M/C at 8w4d (measuring 6w3d)
TTC on hold until December
BFP #1 2/28/12- 3/3/12 CP at 4w3d
BFP #2 4/1/12- 5/7/12 Missed M/C at 8w4d (measuring 6w3d)
TTC on hold until December
Re: FB Posts
Honestly, I don't plan on announcing a pregnancy if/when it occurs on FB. I have no problem with people who do announce it via FB, it's a personal choice. If people know, they know... I just like some sort of privacy and don't want everything being able to be known by everyone. If I completely pair down my FB page before then and only have people that I talk to on a regular basis and not randoms from high school/college, then I might reconsider. But I just don't need to broadcast it to the entire world.
But anything before second tri is definitely too early IMO.
Three weeks is beyond too early. I'll bet she hasn't even been in to the doctor to confirm the pregnancy since most won't see you until you have missed your period. I understand being excited but SO much can happen in first trimester, let alone before 12 weeks that I would have hated to announce it and then have to go back and explain if the baby is lost (God forbid. Of course I don't wish that on anybody!) We did tell our families early on but that's different.
I agree that three weeks is way too early. I don't plan on hiding that we are expecting (when it happens, that is), but I don't want to broadcast every. little. detail. I have a friend who announces this and that and every nuance and it's beyond annoying. We are dealing with IF, which make it just that much more of a sensitive subject for us. We'll tell our family around 8 or 10 weeks, but likely not before due to the elevated level of miscarriage risk.
I watched my step-mom go through 4 miscarriages before she and my Dad were successful with my twin sisters via IVF. I've seen first hand how devastating it is to have to "un-tell" people. So I guess this makes me a little overly concerned. I have a heart condition that I've been told could effect my ability to carry a baby so we will be very cautious about telling people when start TTC.
BFP #1 2/28/12- 3/3/12 CP at 4w3d
BFP #2 4/1/12- 5/7/12 Missed M/C at 8w4d (measuring 6w3d)
TTC on hold until December
BFP #1 2/28/12- 3/3/12 CP at 4w3d
BFP #2 4/1/12- 5/7/12 Missed M/C at 8w4d (measuring 6w3d)
TTC on hold until December
GO! St. Louis Half Marathon-2:32:13
Omaha Half Marathon 9.23.12
/vom!
I went back and forth about talking about IF with people. In the end, I realized that having the support of those closest to me (friends but not family) was important. Family knows children are in our future, but not that we are actively seeking assistance. I was told at 18 that having kids would be challenging and knowing that reality makes it easier to tell people. In the end, the final push over the edge to tell people came from my next door neighbor who battled IF for years and finally was able to have her twins through donor egg IVF. She told me that keeping the "secret" was difficult because the continued challenges, mood swings, disappointments, etc. made her marriage strained and once she began talking with friends her attitude and everything got a lot easier. In the end, it was the right choice for me/us.
For us I've found that its easier to be open about any IF issues we are experiencing. You'd be surprised how many people out there are in the same boat. And it really does make dealing with things SO much easier.
Back on topic ... I think 3 weeks is WAAAAAY to early and I'm completely surprised she got a + so soon. I wouldn't be so quick to think it could be a chemical pregnancy though - just b/c she's early to know doesn't give any indication of a CP. And you said she was young so she's probably not familar with all the possible things that could happen in the next few weeks.
My BFF is due the day before I would have been and this is her #3 but technically #4 pregnancy. #1 ended in a m/c so naturally she's always been very nervous about announcing early. But once you've had 1 its not easy to physically hide it for 3 months. Her DH announced the pg yesterday on FB - while in the end she was ok with it she just wishes he had consulted her on the actual wording but thats for completely different reasons (and too much to get into here).
We told our immediate family and close circle of friends shortly after we found out we were expecting and that was at 5 weeks. Yes it sucked royally to have to tell everyone it was a chemical pregnancy, we in no way regret telling early. We know that when next time comes we will wait until we've had at least 2 u/s(s) -- which happen pretty early when you're going through IF treatments - before announcing it to *anyone*. But even that would happen before the 9 week mark. As for FB I'd probably post on there once I was physically showing but not before.
I agree with all of this. I wasn't trying to say it was a chemical pregnancy, just using it as an example of why it maybe wasn't smart to share to the world so quickly. I didn't even know what a CP was or how common they can be until I researched things after my mc in 2008.
Anyway, to each "his/her" own when it comes to sharing details everyone has different situations and opinions which I totally respect. I saw my Stepmom and Dad struggle for 4 years with IF, I guess I am a bit jaded by their experience. It was so hard watching their disappointment and they became very very private about it after awhile. My sisters were born 4 months before I left for college. We would probably tell our parents before 2nd tri, but hide it from everyone else as long as possible. I have a severe form of vasovagal syncope and faint/drop my blood pressure when I am nauseous mainly but other things trigger it too (like birth control). I was told by my cardiologist that I could have problems with pregnancy.
BFP #1 2/28/12- 3/3/12 CP at 4w3d
BFP #2 4/1/12- 5/7/12 Missed M/C at 8w4d (measuring 6w3d)
TTC on hold until December
This is SO true! I have endometriosis, which I think I mentioned on here before I had my laparoscopy in February, and was surprised to learn that many of you have it as well as several other friends. I know for a fact that is what kept me from getting pregnant for four years.
I have found it's easier to talk about these kinds of things to some people because some just don't know they could potentially have something wrong with them (like me and my endo) and then, in hearing your story, they decide to go and get it checked out.
Eek! 3 weeks and posting a picture of a pee stick right away! I think that's way to early. So many things could happen. I understand she is excited but at the same time wow.
I am not sure at what point I'd make a FB announcement. We would probably tell our families shortly after the first doctors appointment, and then set up private photo albums and blog for them to see. My family is very spread out and I'm sure their feelings would be hurt if I didn't keep them updated regularly, but at the same time, I don't want to post my business out there for everyone to see. Also, I wouldn't want to accidentally hurt any of my friends that are dealing with IF or a m/c.
3 weeks is way too early. I'm almost 10 weeks and am still nervous about too many people knowing. Some people at work are figuring it out, mostly because my pants aren't fitting and my gut is starting to stick out. One of my friends from HS has been posting the whole time about her m/s and what not for almost her entire pregnancy. She's only about 12 weeks, but I "decoded" all of the posts from her and her friends. If she feels comfortable, I guess its her choice. I've decided to keep mine off of FB for as long as possible, but again I guess that's my choice.