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VENT: DH's ex wife and mother
So, I am newly married, only a month, we are also expecting our first in December. Well, DH has two kids M who is female and 11, and S who is male and 7.
Since we moved in together, we have implented rules. The kids have never had rules, and I seriously mean NEVER! So, they are spoiled lil' brats who don't know how to make a glass of water. And I'm not exaggerating!
I took on a lot, and I know this, I chose to...but geez! I just need to vent. The rules have been working well, they are showing responsiblity and being independent. Of course they have some troubles with the rules, as to be expected, but overall amazing!
Well, apparently they are talking to BM about all our rules, and how we are no fun anymore. They complained we never have free time with them anymore. Which this is part of BM's fault. We have an agreement that she brings them to us on our week after school, so they should be here by 4....she brings them everyday at 7! By then they haven't done any homework yet, so we eat dinner, make them do homework, and then barely have time for showers before bed. But yet on weekends all we do is spend time with them ALL day.
So, BM is cussing DH out about how we are too strict and not fun anymore, etc etc etc. But yet she wants parenting advice because her live-in boyfriend has been complaining about how spoiled the kids are and they dont have rules! UGH
But then we talk to MIL. Who says we are selfish and don't provide enough for the kids....umm sadly I just spent $100 on crafts for M, which she picked out! And that we are strict and shouldnt have any rules for the kids. We are acting like we dont love them anymore because we force them to make their own sandwich, etc. Seriously????
UGH! I'm just so frustrated! I feel like I'm going to freak out on both of them! Thanks for reading
Re: VENT: DH's ex wife and mother
This "agreement" about them being at your house by 4: is it in writing? If this is something that your H and the BM worked out with an attorney, and she's not delivering (so to speak) on her end of the bargain, then contact the attorney.
I know you're not really looking for advice but my husband is an attorney who deals with a lot of divorced couples, so that's just my first thought.
The kids will get used to the rules. Don't talk to your MIL about it. If she brings it up, then divert the conversation because how you raise these kids isn't her business, honestly. She is out of line saying what she has so far.
Brats? Really? Maybe you should have worked out the issues you have with the kids you already have (step kids) before getting KU. Because, I'm sure, things will get much better after you have the baby.
If BM doesn't bring the kids when she's supposed to go get them yourself or go see an attorney.