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crazy, but I might just turn it down

Last night I talked to the supervisor of the job I got an offer for. He wants my answer by TODAY! I have never had such a time crunch for getting back to someone like this. I think I might turn it down for a couple of reasons -

1. DH's supervisor is on vacation and this does not give us enough time to work out details on his end. He works for the gov't and they are slow - it took his friend 8 months to relocate from start to finish. If I accept, DH will have no idea until next week at the earliest how far along he is in the process.

2. I had hoped to bargan with my current job to work remotely. The 24 hour window doesn't give me any time for that. I think I want to at least have a chance to continue working for my same company, but b/c I'd have to first talk to my supervisor, who would then have to talk to the division vice president, etc. - there is just no way.

My new philosophy in life is that if things are so stressful they make me miserable and I can do something about it, to do it! Last night after talking to the guy I was not happy - so maybe this is not the right job for me.

Re: crazy, but I might just turn it down

  • Good Luck with your decision!
    Anniversary
  • I know exactly how you feel, just went through this too. Good luck with your decision
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  • That sucks! Can you explain to them why you need more time...and if not,  here is an idea...not the most ethical I guess, but can you just accept and if something else come up respectfully decline afterward...just explain why you are declining (like you are not gonna move, etc.)

    Anniversary Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imageMrs.N.H.:

    That sucks! Can you explain to them why you need more time...and if not,  here is an idea...not the most ethical I guess, but can you just accept and if something else come up respectfully decline afterward...just explain why you are declining (like you are not gonna move, etc.)

    The more time thing is not going to work - they want to fill the position this week and are ready to call person #2 if I turn it down. And your second option I don't think will work because this might involve giving my current job a 30 day notice and then saying 'just kidding, I don't want to leave yet!' Don't think that would go over well. I don't want my current job to know I am leaving until 30 days before whenever has to be my last day - even though I plan to offer to work remotely-they could still say no and let me go early.

  • That's rough... but if there is something that I have learned over the past few years - it's to listen to your gut.  If an employer can't accept the fact that you need more than 24 hours to make a huge life altering decision - what kind of pressure are they going to put you through on day to day things?

    Sorry that you are in this position - I know whatever decision you end up making will be the right one!

  • Sean's big philosophy on things like this is "if the road is paved, we will go down it.  If it is not, we were not meant to travel that way."  I firmly believe all things happen for a reason and if you were meant to take this, it would be easier for you.  It sounds like you already know that in your heart.  Good luck with your decision. 
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  • imagehawaiianbride08:
    imageMrs.N.H.:

    That sucks! Can you explain to them why you need more time...and if not,  here is an idea...not the most ethical I guess, but can you just accept and if something else come up respectfully decline afterward...just explain why you are declining (like you are not gonna move, etc.)

    The more time thing is not going to work - they want to fill the position this week and are ready to call person #2 if I turn it down. And your second option I don't think will work because this might involve giving my current job a 30 day notice and then saying 'just kidding, I don't want to leave yet!' Don't think that would go over well. I don't want my current job to know I am leaving until 30 days before whenever has to be my last day - even though I plan to offer to work remotely-they could still say no and let me go early.

    LOL! I know. I guess I didn't explain myself that great. But if you say yes...do they expect you to start immediately? or can you say "yes...I'll start in 60 days"?...if you can tell them you can start later you will have some time before you have to put the actual notice to your current employer.

    I guess it will kinda burn the bridge with the Denver company if you decide to cancel the offer later, but if you give them a good explanation like: "Sadly, My husband can't transfer and we won't be moving", they will understand.

     Does that makes sense?

    Anniversary Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imageMrs.N.H.:
    imagehawaiianbride08:
    imageMrs.N.H.:

    That sucks! Can you explain to them why you need more time...and if not,  here is an idea...not the most ethical I guess, but can you just accept and if something else come up respectfully decline afterward...just explain why you are declining (like you are not gonna move, etc.)

    The more time thing is not going to work - they want to fill the position this week and are ready to call person #2 if I turn it down. And your second option I don't think will work because this might involve giving my current job a 30 day notice and then saying 'just kidding, I don't want to leave yet!' Don't think that would go over well. I don't want my current job to know I am leaving until 30 days before whenever has to be my last day - even though I plan to offer to work remotely-they could still say no and let me go early.

    LOL! I know. I guess I didn't explain myself that great. But if you say yes...do they expect you to start immediately? or can you say "yes...I'll start in 60 days"?...if you can tell them you can start later you will have some time before you have to put the actual notice to your current employer.

    I guess it will kinda burn the bridge with the Denver company if you decide to cancel the offer later, but if you give them a good explanation like: "Sadly, My husband can't transfer and we won't be moving", they will understand.

     Does that makes sense?

    That makes sense - only problem is they want me to start Nov. 1 at the latest - and that was as far back as I could push them. So I'd have to give my work 30 days notice by the end of this month...it's all just too fast.

  • Considering we're in similar boats, you probably know how I feel. But it sounds like you're making the decision that makes YOU the happiest, and that's what matters. :) Good luck!
  • follow your heart!  good luck love!
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  • imagesarlah:
    Considering we're in similar boats, you probably know how I feel. But it sounds like you're making the decision that makes YOU the happiest, and that's what matters. :) Good luck!

    Sarah - this doesn't mean no Denver...it means waiting until DH can go out and then exploring options later - maybe even checking out if my current job would let me telecommute. We're not screwed if I don't have a job, just won't live as nicely!

  • imagehawaiianbride08:

    imagesarlah:
    Considering we're in similar boats, you probably know how I feel. But it sounds like you're making the decision that makes YOU the happiest, and that's what matters. :) Good luck!

    Sarah - this doesn't mean no Denver...it means waiting until DH can go out and then exploring options later - maybe even checking out if my current job would let me telecommute. We're not screwed if I don't have a job, just won't live as nicely!

    That's definitely true! It just sounds like this may not be the right job for you, even though it seemed like it was at first. First dates can be deceiving! lol.

  • imagehawaiianbride08:
    imageMrs.N.H.:
    imagehawaiianbride08:
    imageMrs.N.H.:

    That sucks! Can you explain to them why you need more time...and if not,  here is an idea...not the most ethical I guess, but can you just accept and if something else come up respectfully decline afterward...just explain why you are declining (like you are not gonna move, etc.)

    The more time thing is not going to work - they want to fill the position this week and are ready to call person #2 if I turn it down. And your second option I don't think will work because this might involve giving my current job a 30 day notice and then saying 'just kidding, I don't want to leave yet!' Don't think that would go over well. I don't want my current job to know I am leaving until 30 days before whenever has to be my last day - even though I plan to offer to work remotely-they could still say no and let me go early.

    LOL! I know. I guess I didn't explain myself that great. But if you say yes...do they expect you to start immediately? or can you say "yes...I'll start in 60 days"?...if you can tell them you can start later you will have some time before you have to put the actual notice to your current employer.

    I guess it will kinda burn the bridge with the Denver company if you decide to cancel the offer later, but if you give them a good explanation like: "Sadly, My husband can't transfer and we won't be moving", they will understand.

     Does that makes sense?

    That makes sense - only problem is they want me to start Nov. 1 at the latest - and that was as far back as I could push them. So I'd have to give my work 30 days notice by the end of this month...it's all just too fast.

    Oh...I see...I'm used to quick moves...but that it's a bit too much even for me. But don't worry too much about it. If they are not willing to push back the date for you then their loss! Good Luck!

    Anniversary Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • so...they gave me another week when I called and told them that I could not accept because we needed to figure things out with my husbands job. We'll see what my DH finds out on Tuesday from his end (when the supervisor of the new position is back from vacation). If his response is that DH will more than likely be out in CO by the end of 2010, I'll take the job. If it's looking like things won't move forward fast enough for our comfort, I'll turn it down. This is causing so much stress and arguments b/w DH and I so I am just going to try and stop thinking about it until Tuesday.
  • imagehawaiianbride08:
    so...they gave me another week when I called and told them that I could not accept because we needed to figure things out with my husbands job. We'll see what my DH finds out on Tuesday from his end (when the supervisor of the new position is back from vacation). If his response is that DH will more than likely be out in CO by the end of 2010, I'll take the job. If it's looking like things won't move forward fast enough for our comfort, I'll turn it down. This is causing so much stress and arguments b/w DH and I so I am just going to try and stop thinking about it until Tuesday.

    At least they're trying to meet you part way now! I hope things calm down between you & your H. If it's meant to be it will be!

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