Minneapolis/St. Paul Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Video games
Do any of your husbands play video games? My husband plays xbox so much! I hate it!! Any one else have the same problem?
Re: Video games
::raises hand::
Usually, after work we'll come home and tidy up the house or whatever and he'll want to go play xbox. I usually have other stuff to do so I'm not too bothered. However when I don't have anything to do, it really bothers me. I'd rather spend time together, being in the same room (his man cave is upstairs, everything else is downstairs). I just hate doing our separate thing after work.
He is off on Fridays so he'll game from when I go to bed Thursday until 2 or 3 in the morning and then go sleep in the spare bed. Doesn't bother me, I actually like getting the bed to myself. He'll game on Fridays too, or when I have meetings to go to or when I have Tastefully Simple parties to do.
I just don't like when it separates us after work. He says it's his "downtime" after work.
Yes - to the point of me taking away his games. PS3 for him though. If there is a way to have it time out after a certain time on the parental controls, I'll be all over it.
The problem is that it feels like you just started playing and *poof* there goes 3 hours. Ours came to a head because I work both a full and a part time job and don't get the luxury of wasting away an entire evening on nothingness. He promised me he'd do laundry and clean our bathroom one evening and when I got home from 12 straight hours of work, he'd been sitting on the dang couch lost in his stupid football game and hadn't touched either. I was livid because it wasn't the first time. We got a Wii when we got married because I am not a huge video game player and that one was easy to master (basically waving a controller around and pressing a button or two - I can handle that). I *maybe* play an hour a month. Maybe. He plays at least an hour a day.
DH sees a therapist for some other issues and I asked that this one be added to the list.
Photo taken at 16 months old
Yes, but not as excessively as he used to. It used to bother me, because it took up so much TIME. I did compromise and try playing some with him, but it's just not that appealing to me.
These days, I don't mind it, because it keeps him occupied while I'm busy with my PhD. But... I won't lie... I sometimes wish I had a husband with more productive hobbies... like home improvement projects! That would be dreamy
My husband loves them. He has told me before that he wished we still lived with all his guy friends so he could play video games with them all night. To curb my ?lack of attention? outbursts he would find me games I liked to play. And he found a few that I could play for hours on end. He recently got me hooked on a new game because he has been spending 3+ hours a day playing. I can play mine fore just as long as he can play his most days. We don?t even play the same game or in the same room.
Two months later I have started to see we have not really done anything together in months. We spend most of our unplanned free time playing the stupid games. And are we as a couple suffering for it.
Let me preface this by saying my opinion is colored by my own experience - so you can feel free to take it with a "woman scorned" grain of salt.
My ex-husband was a huge video game player - WOW, PSP, XBOX, Wii, all of it. So much so that we had to schedule our lives around it. For five years together, I wasn't allowed to plan anything for Wednesdays or Saturdays because he played WOW on those nights with his "guild" (it seriously makes me shudder to think of it.)
What I know for sure is that video games checked my ex-husband out of his life entirely. He didn't have to deal with his job or me or our dog or anything because he was consumed with the games.
If you really love your husband, you'll tell him how it really makes you feel. And if he really loves you, he'll find a way to change his habits. If he refuses, girl, run for the door. Any man who chooses a video game, a TV show, or anything over his wife is not in the marriage completely.
Our solution was to make it so he can hook the Playstation up to his computer monitor, so he can play games on that or just the computer. This is in our living room. That way, when we're just hanging in the evening, we're both doing our own thing, but we're together, and we talk about stuff, watch tv, and all that kind of stuff while he plays.
And, we both know there's a point at which it would be TOO MUCH, and we'd have to have a serious discussion about how to deal.
Incidentally, since I think it was a similar issue that's getting you flamed on other boards (I think - if not, disregard), in the future it's best not to DD. Let people be azzhats if they want. It's only going to get much, much worse if you don't just stop replying and put on your big girl panties and deal. I'm not justifying their reactions, though I didn't see your OP or the responses, so I'm not saying you were 100% treated unfairly, but I'm just saying life is way worse when you DD. JMO. Sorry you're having a hard time.
We don't have this problem, thankfully. We are both video game players, me on xbox and he likes the computer. We play each others game of choice sometimes, and sometimes we play alone. I think that it's healthy to have interests outside of just doing things together. Whenever one of us wants to do something together, we just say, ok it's us time now. Whether he is playing WoW or I'm playing Call of Duty, we both stop at that point.
I think when issues like this come up, it's a two-fold thing. A lot of times people forget that their significant other had interests and likes before they came around, and I would never ask someone to give up doing something they like just because I didn't.
Its not a big deal about it all. They just have nothing better to do than talk and trash people on here. I have seen other posts of theirs. So what I deleted. Big deal. They were just upset that I didn't leave it there to give them something to do. Its just an advice board its not life. Thank you for your input on the games. Marriage isn't always perfect...people have problems.