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Anyone have this similar problem with work collegues?
I'm 26 years old and just got married in June. I live on the Northshore. I feel excluded a lot from friends who live in the city or work colleagues who I have lunch with. Sometimes life feels like high school all over again. I don't make last minute plans because it would be rude to skip out on dinner with my husband without giving him the opportunity to make his own plans. But it seems like these people who I eat lunch with like to make plans at the last minute. I often feel disrespected when I hear that they hung out after work and didn't even think to invite me.
One of my lunch buddies is going through a rough split with her bf and the other lunch buddies thought it would be a nice idea to get her a massage or take her out to dinner. I kept suggesting other ideas and finally after 20 e-mails, they decided on lunch during work. We purposely didn't decide on dinner because one of the lunch buddies has a second job and wouldn't be able to make it. I was working from home today and an e-mail went out saying that they were going out to lunch. I said I wasn't in the office and ask if they could postpone it until tomorrow. No one responded and when I called one of them to ask if I needed to bring my lunch tomorrow or if we were going out, she informed me that they had already gone out. She said that they were sorry but they would go out again with me. Why isn't ok to go out if one of them can't make it but it's alright if I can't?
I seriously need some married friends!!!
Re: Anyone have this similar problem with work collegues?
I've never felt bad about calling my husband and telling him something came up and I won't be home until later!
My husband travels though so he's never home... I jump at chances to go out and socialize! Sorry it's so hard for you to get together with this group and that you feel left out.
Perhaps you can take the initiative and try to schedule something.
I agree with this! My husband doesn't care if I call and say I'm going out to get a drink after work (which doesn't happen these days, since I'm unemployed and not drinking!)
Maybe you should talk to your DH and see if he minds if you don't come straight home occasionally.
I'm sorry! :-( I agree with other people that you should ask YH if he minds if you skip out at the last minute or try to schedule things with your work friends. However, you made a good point that since they're all single, they do have more flexibility and 'freedom.'
MH works but he mainly works with older people (have kids, etc) so we wouldn't jive with those people. So, I completely understand your want/need for unmarried couple friends! We have that problem as well.