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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Would you be hurt?
H is STILL at a happy hour with some of his fraternity alumni friends. I wasn't invited. He invited me 2 months ago to the last one, and I was the only wife/gf there. Well, tonight, evidently, there are women present.
I have invited H to every single weekly happy hour that I have with my coworkers. And he has come to almost all of them.
I had a great time at the last happy hour of his, and I even expressed that to him. He obviously didn't get the message.
Would you be hurt if you invited H to all of your events, but he couldn't bother to let you know about one of his?
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Re: Would you be hurt?
Yes, I would be annoyed. I'm really high maintenance and I do not like to be left out.
He doesn't attend my girl things, though, but I'm usually invited with him and his buddies if they go anywhere. If he didn't, I wouldn't be worried about him picking up women or anything like that...but it's nice to know that I'm wanted there with him and the people he's with don't mind me either.
If it were only guys there, it probably wouldn't bother me as much. But you said tonight there are women present? Yeah, I'd be peeved.
No, he intentionally did not invite me. Anyone's invited who wants to come. He only told me about this after I had been home for awhile, and then acted like I should have known about it, although he has said nothing about it.
As for needing time away--he spent the entire last week, Sun-Sun, dealing with rush week (chapter adviser) and we didn't see each other except for 30 minutes Monday evening for a quick dinner. I saw him last night and a little this weekend. I can't imagine that he needs *that* much time away from me right now, especially after all the, "I missed you" crap he said the other day.
I think what is hurting me is that he doesn't understand that I'm hurt. Even if I didn't go, inviting me would have been the appropriate thing to do, in my mind. He's always invited out with my friends, even if he doesn't go.
No, he admitted to not telling me.
Do you really think I would not hear an invite to go for drinks at Red Prime?
He also told me it was over at 6:30. I assume, at this point, that he is still there. I spoke with him over half an hour ago and he said he would leave, eventually.
Conversation must be stimulating. I guess hearing about my job isn't.
I'd be irritated if it was my DH. Not because I wasn't invited- I can give him the benefit of the doubt that he thought it was going to be an all guys happy hour again- but that he didn't bother to tell me about it until the last minute and then pretended that he had already told me.
I'd also be peeved that he was staying so late without letting me know, when he knew that I was sitting at home alone and had been expecting him to be back hours ago. I don't usually mind if DH stays out much later than intended with his friends- provided that he calls to tell me that he'll be back later than intended- but it is a different situation when you haven't seen much of each other lately and were looking forward to spending the evening with him.
That's just it--he has invited me before. It's not necessarily "guys night." It's "XX Fraternity Alumni Happy Hour." Those guys have always made it clear that s/o's are invited.
Hell, I went to Hooter's once with those guys. They treated me like a queen.
He got home close to 9. I slept on the couch all night because he ended up being a snoring machine by 10:20. I didn't have the energy to fight it, so I gave up and retreated.
I explained why I was hurt and it made no impression. But, H rarely shows emotion so he probably just doesn't understand.
H has done that to me a couple of times - he'll invite me out with the guys one night, then a few weeks later, he'll go without me [even though the other guys bring their SO's]. I think I get more mad at the fact that I'm already the missing wife - since we still have an LDR until JJ and I move to Colorado next summer - and people think we're not married since I'm never around. But sometimes, he just doesn't think. He wants time with the boys, so he just goes.
I hope that your H catches the hint soon. Frustrating.