Oh, my.

Re: Oh, my.

• PuppiesAndRainbows

  September 2010

  http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/42638030.aspx 

  I don't think they're being mean at all, they're just not sugar coating it.

  And they're completely right. Your MIL is way out of line, and the reason is because your DH (and you by extension) humor her nonsense. Maybe I'm a biitch, but I would have nipped that second wedding biznass in the bud, quick.

  Your DH needs to tell her "Mom, Jo and I are staying with her parents when we come home for Thanksgiving." Do not give her any reasons other than it's your (as a couple's) preference. If she raises her voice, starts with her tantrums, have him say "Mom, I'm sorry you're disappointed, but if you're going to speak to me that way then I will have to end the conversation. When you're ready to speak to us respectfully you can call back." And then do it. Wash, rinse, repeat with everything.

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• joelizabeth23

  September 2010

  Yeah.  You're right.  I don't know why I was expecting sugar coating.  And you're also right that this is still going on because DH won't do anything about it.  He's too used to it and "doesn't care" but in the mean time it's driving me crazy.  We'll get it worked out.

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• PuppiesAndRainbows

  September 2010

  I think some marriage counseling would be really beneficial. It will help with the newlywed blues/adjustment period that it seems you two are going through,and can help you hammer out the MIL issues. Going to counseling doesn't mean that you're about to get divorced or anything like that. Do you think he would go?

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• joelizabeth23

  September 2010

  He woud probably go, but in all reality, I don't talk to him about all this stuff as much as I should.  I kind of let it boil up and then get fed up.  Which I know isn't the right thing.  I think I'm going to try and just have a good old fashioned convo with him about it.  We seem to be a bit more on the same page since the whole wedding fiasco.  I'd probably be surprised how much would change if I just had a heart to heart with him.  But if not, we'd def. try counseling.  

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• Ms_Shell

  September 2010

  National Boards cut to the chase.

  As for the counseling, I don't think that talking to a counselor is a bad idea. And it's not being suggested to fix something "broken" but to strengthen your relationship and how you and your H relate and interact with each other and others (as a united couple).

  There are many guys out there with issues of having trouble growing a pair and putting their foot down with their moms, my brother is one of them.

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• BAMFMrsB member

  

  September 2010

  PuppiesAndRainbows:

  I think some marriage counseling would be really beneficial. It will help with the newlywed blues/adjustment period that it seems you two are going through,and can help you hammer out the MIL issues. Going to counseling doesn't mean that you're about to get divorced or anything like that. Do you think he would go?

  True dat. We went for mrBAMF's bananasbatshits crazy family. His dad is just insufferable. And now he's really sick. My mom is most likely a Narcissist. Fun times.

  Everyone has a crazy family. Some just need help figuring out how to manage them.

  Your MIL chooses to be a puppetmaster. Your DH can either cut the strings and learn to tell her "no" and that her behavior is childish, or he can react and jump-to every time she makes a demand. SHE is never going to stop acting poorly unless there are negative consequences to her bad behavior.

   

  Meet Beyonce Jr.
  

  
  Call me Kat =^..^=

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