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Groomz
I think you need some cheering up. So how about a nice story?
This one is from the Groomz Groomventures in NakedSebaLand series.
Groomz and the Slytherin's Sons of Danger
Once upon a time, there was a plucky fellow named Groomz. He lived in a magical place called NakedSebaLand.
NakedSebaLand was a paradise of toaster strudel, clover, and fine wines. There were bath tubs everywhere, always full of hot water and bubbles, and with a never ending supply of Doritos next to the towel warmers. Televisions all over played Golden Girls, Arrested Development, and Pushing Daisies on demand. And the word "pie" was synonymous with "Groomz", and the word "maker" was synonymous with "watch movies with and be friends with and maybe more-er".
It was always happy in NakedSebaLand, and the only thing STD stood for was "Silly t-shirt day", which was everyone's favorite day.
But one fateful day, the gaiety and happiness of NakedSebaLand was threatened. A gang of miscreants calling themselves Slytherin's Sons of Danger" rolled into town, looking to cause trouble. The members of the gang were Perez Hilton, Tonif, Toni Ferrari, and Ann Coulter. Perez Hilton and Ann Coulter were killing NakedSebaLand's buzz, shouting over one another about their ideals, Tonif was saying rude things to people, then retorting "I didn't say that" when they got pissed at her, and Toni Ferrari was frightening the small woodland creatures with her scary eyes.
Groomz took action immediately, gathering his friends to prepare for a throwdown. There was the Piemaker, Sophia, Dorothy, and Chuy from Chelsea Lately. Some Thestrals (those skeleton horse things) came too, because they could smell that sh*t was about to go down.
Chuy jumped right in and took Perez Hilton to a broom closet, though no one knew if they were fighting, or friends or maybe more. Tonif saw that Sophia was catching everything on her camera phone and decided to bail. Ann Coulter saw the Thestrals, and was so overjoyed to be reunited with her own kind, that she just settled right in to chew on some nice green grass. The only trouble maker left was Toni muthereffing Ferrari, and she wasn't going nowhere, Mister. At least not without a fight.
Everyone was cowering under the gaze of Toni Ferrari's crazy eyes, and though they tried not to show it, each heart was slowly losing hope. Was this it? Was this to be the end of NakedSebaLand as they knew it? It appeared so.
But suddenly, from 'twixt the silver clouds, a shining figure came soaring. "It can't be.." thought Groomz. But indeed, it was. Riding on a magnificent pegasus, wearing a t-shirt that featured Groomz riding an equally magnificent pegasus.. Naked Seba was here to rescue them.
Swooping down gracefully, Naked Seba leapt into the crowd, and began to tell a silly ESL story. Everyone was so charmed that they totally forgot about Toni Ferrari's scary eyes, and they felt happy and hopeful in their hearts once again. No one knows what happened to Toni Ferrari after that, but rumor has it that her ovaries exploded out of sexual attraction overload upon hearing Naked Seba's accent riddled stories.
Although happiness again prevailed, everyone felt a small heaviness in their hearts, for they knew that Naked Seba would leave them once again, only to return in times of great need. "Don be sad, my leetle ones" cooed Naked Seba. "I am weeth you, always and forever". As he rolled his last "r" and mounted his pegasus, the hearts of the citizens were filled with gladness, and attraction.
As Groomz and his friends walked into the sunset, arm in arm, he smiled, for he knew that all was right again in NakedSebaLand.
The End.
Re: Groomz
The hair grows in thick where the horn used to be.
I did need cheering up, and this did the trick. Thanks Jens.
I do have one question, though. Was Naked Seba wearing a t-shirt with a picture of me riding a pegasus, or was Naked Seba's pegasus wearing the T-shirt?
It's very important that I get this cleared up.
3 out of 4 dead babies agree! pepsi is better than coke! - EdithBouvierBeale
Lordy. Grow some balls and stop lurking. It's like stealing from the internet. Jesuschrist. -- AudreyHorne
I hate love and marriage. I got married so I could destroy these things from the inside. - NoisyPenguin
It's a good thing my circle of trust is as giant as my vagina. That only leaves a couple people out. - Cali
Holy crap, I didn't realize how long that got. I was just adding bits here and there while I worked.
I want a pegasus wearing a t-shirt of a pegasus with Groomz riding on it!
I cackled at Ann Coulter and the Thestrals.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
I also had to IMDB Toni Ferrari, and I'm pretty sure I haven't seen anything she's been in, but I recognize her from a google picture (with crazy eyes). Is she famous for something else? Does she date someone I know?
3 out of 4 dead babies agree! pepsi is better than coke! - EdithBouvierBeale
Lordy. Grow some balls and stop lurking. It's like stealing from the internet. Jesuschrist. -- AudreyHorne
I hate love and marriage. I got married so I could destroy these things from the inside. - NoisyPenguin
It's a good thing my circle of trust is as giant as my vagina. That only leaves a couple people out. - Cali
3 out of 4 dead babies agree! pepsi is better than coke! - EdithBouvierBeale
Lordy. Grow some balls and stop lurking. It's like stealing from the internet. Jesuschrist. -- AudreyHorne
I hate love and marriage. I got married so I could destroy these things from the inside. - NoisyPenguin
It's a good thing my circle of trust is as giant as my vagina. That only leaves a couple people out. - Cali
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
Well, I'm glad, Groomz.
HAHAHA. Why didn't I think of that dammit. Is your bellybutton pierced?