Caribbean Nesties
CaptainSerious
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Working moms
Tell me it gets easier. I started back on Monday, and until January I'm only working while M's in school. I know we're dealing with a bunch of other issues as a family, but I'm constantly worried and anxious about what's next. Here's the full update: http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/42687362.aspx.
Just tell me about how much easier it gets, please. Because right now, the year-long adjustment phase is looking really long.
Re: Working moms
I will say that my adjustment period was pretty quick, but I honestly don't know how it can even hope to compare. I have an infant that didn't even realize I was gone when I first started back to work. You have a child with the mental capacity to push boundaries and throw tantrums.
I'm sorry for your stress and hope that it does get better quickly. Just keep loving that boy.
do you see your own therapist? Maybe it would help, you are dealing with a huge adjustment too and it's a lot to deal with.
I'm THISing all over Buddha's and Mashed's replies.
Work does get easier as you get used to the new routine, but our situations are so hard to compare. And you should definitely have your own person to talk to.
Maybe I don't have a heightened sense of smell, but I've never smelled any vagina on my pants. -- TSD
Bloggity Blog - You know you want to...
We work with the therapist together. She is never alone with M. The sessions start out with me updating her on how things have been going, and then she tries to address them with M.
Unfortunately, she's not really experienced with attachment issues/adoption, and so many of his behaviors are somewhat new to her. I am not surprised by them, as they are common for kids in his situation, but she often seems impressed by my level of "insight" (her word) into his behaviors. I'm looking for an attachment specialist closer to us, but haven't found a bilingual one yet, so we may stick with this lady until the language is less of an issue.
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Doesn't sound to me that your stress is as much related to work as it is parenting in general. I echo the idea of talking to someone yourselves. It's such a big adjustment for everyone involved. You can't control his actions, but you can control the ways you react and show him love.
FWIW, I interpret him acting out with you meaning he feels safe to do so. It's a backwards compliment, I suppose.
She has also offered to talk with me alone, and I am considering taking her up on it. The problem is that it means either taking a day off from work (I work 9-2 and have an hour commute) or trying to find a time when my husband could work from home in the afternoon so he could be with M.
I'm hoping this worst part will pass within the next couple weeks and our sessions together with M will be all we need in the long run.
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Book Review Blog
If I were a man (or fitty) I'd totally call my penis THE WIZARD - HappyTummy
Thanks, everyone. It's just been a particularly tough week (first full week of school (after M's ER experience on Friday), first week back at work, and my husband working late several nights).
I think need to rage a little myself, to get rid of some of this tension. A good cry, some time with the heavy bag, maybe, and I should be much better. Now if only I could find enough time to sneak away and get that break....
2013 Calendars and More!
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Book Review Blog
If I were a man (or fitty) I'd totally call my penis THE WIZARD - HappyTummy
Thanks. It's definitely worth checking.
2013 Calendars and More!
I mentioned once before that you check out some classes (or support groups) offered through your local department of human services (type organization) and I really think they could benefit you in this situation.
Most of the children they place have attachment issues and act out in similar ways. Going through the classes helped me to understand a lot about the emotions / thought processes / coping mechanisms that drove kids to those behaviors and how to deal with them. If you don't have time for the classes, a support group with foster/adoptive parents who are dealing with or have dealt with similar things can usually be joined on a much more flexible schedule.
Good luck!
Wendy, I've read several books and done internet/powerpoint tutorials on the subject. I also belong to several online groups about adoption and older child adoption. One is a great about including blunt conversations about what does/doesn't work for different families. Do you think the classes could offer something more? I'm willing to try, if you think there might really be something different there than in the books/online communities.
ETA: I hope I don't come off as making up reasons not to go. It's just that between school, tutoring, and all his doctors/therapy appointments, M is so scheduled (and, as a result I am), that it's hard to think about adding something unless I think it will really make a difference. I'm afraid of going just to have the same stuff rehashed, because we are over-scheduled as it is. So I really mean it when I ask, do you think they will help?
Of course you do, or you wouldn't have suggested it twice. I just have to suck it up and try, don't I?
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Well I think some of the (online) groups that you have joined combined with the books serve probably the same purpose. I would be happy to take a look at some of the course materials and send them to you if you'd like me to. You can email me at wendyld at gmail dot com.
2013 Calendars and More!