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this shouldn't bother me
My cousin and his girlfriend recently announced that they are pregnant. This should make us all happy, right? Well. Our family is happy, but I have mixed feelings.
They are both 25. That is not the issue, although I still think it's weird when my younger relatives have babies because I still think of them as my little cousins. What annoys me is that this is not their first pregnancy. She was pregnant two years ago, but lost the baby at about 5 months. When they were pregnant the first time, they were SO excited, and from what I can tell, it was a planned pregnancy. Even though they're not married. And they don't live together. And as far as I can tell, they have been trying ever since then to get pregnant again. Even though they are still not married, or engaged, and don't live together. What is up with that?
So since their first pregnancy ended badly, I am kind of shocked that they have told everyone already about this one. And now she just found out today that it's twins. Wow.
So I guess I'm just a little shocked that they don't have much money, have no real committment to one another (hello, if they can't even live together) but they PLANNED to bring a baby into this world. And now they're getting two. I don't think they're going to be able to cope.
I just feel like Dave and I are so much better prepared for a baby, and WE don't even feel like we're ready to bring one into the world yet.
Re: this shouldn't bother me
Yeah, that's a little weird. So they're going to try to adjust with living together AND with having two new babies???? Good luck with that!
ETA: I just assumed that they were going to move in together... they are, right??
I can definitely see your concerns. To be honest, I think I would feel the same way if I had a similar family situation but the reality is that it's none of your business really. One of those things you just deal with and tell them you are happy for them. Hopefully they make the best of it and it all works out for them and the babies.
Stu: I don't even know if they are!! Isn't that bizarre??
MrsGoontz: I know. I am hanging my head in shame that this even irritates me, and obviously I am going to give them nothing but love and support and happy face. Because they are family and I love them and what they do is their business. I think I'm just feeling this so much because pregnancy and babies is such a loaded topic for us right now. We literally talk about starting a family every single day. And one of us wants it, and the other is nervous, and then we both flip, and we really just want to make sure that we have all the resources we need before we do it. Because we both want it, but wanting something isn't enough when it's this big, right? And I just feel like these two want a baby, and think that because they want it, that's a good enough reason.
Roar. Feel free to flame me, because I know I'm being an ***. And that if Dave and I weren't thinking babies ourselves I wouldn't be giving this a second thought.
I agree with MrsGoontz
Yeah I agree. I can't even pretend to put myself in their shoes. I feel like they should be on an episode of "True Life: I don't live with my baby daddy"
Um what? Why is that flameworthy? They are SO not in any way ready for a baby, much less TWO. A friend of mine from highschool just had a baby a week and a half ago. She got knocked up by her ex, after they broke up when they were drunk. She doesn't have a good job, no education, very little family support, and she was just SOOOOO excited to be knocked up. I didn't get all stoked for her, but I didn't tell her I thought she was being a complete idiot either. I don't feel obligated to be excited about people making stupid decisions. I'm not gonna be mean, but I'm not gonna congratulate someone for being a moron either.
At least be happy knowing that you are a very responsible couple, and when the time comes that you have a baby things will be SO much better for you guys than for crazy people who do crap like that.
You shouldn't have to apologize for feeling the way you feel. You can't help your feelings, and, honestly, I'd probably feel the same way you do. Besides, where better to get those feelings off of your chest than a semi-anonymous board full of people you've never met IRL?
Like you said, your actions are a different story. You can have private misgivings about the whole situation, but, when it comes right down to it, you're going to be happy and supportive and all that jazz. If you were planning to go to the baby shower and give a monologue about why you think your cousin is being stupid, that would be a different story.
An entertaining story, granted...
My opinion in a nutshell: WOWZERS.
PS - I secretly love twins and would love to have them, although another part of me would rather have two kids separately because I could enjoy the cute baby phase twice rather than all at once. That's all.
I would prolly be reacting the same way as you J. All question-y and judgmental on the inside but my outward appearance would be one of smiles and "support".
Lots of people have babies out of wedlock, lots of people have babies at 25. I guess where my concern comes in is that there doesn't seem to be any sort of commitment between the two of them at all.
No one says you HAVE to get married to have babies but there does need to be a strong bond and a good foundation to build a family on. I just see this being a lot of stress all at once for them. But if they can hack it... more power to 'em.
Ugh, see...they are committed...they just seem so young and still dependent on their families which is why I think it's so weird. Even though they're 25, they act MUCH younger. I mean, they came to our wedding together, and they've been dating for years. It's just that her FB posts always read like a teenager, and she's always like "my mom takes such good care of me, here about to nap while she makes me dinner" and stuff. How can she be ready to be a great mom to two babies? But ugh. I will be happy and I will love those babies. But still.
I also have panic attacks that maybe Dave and I will not be able to conceive. So there's that.
Oh my gah... me too! Well not panic attacks but I do worry... a lot.
I've always secretly had it in the back of my mind that I will have trouble getting KTFU because I want it so badly. And then my mom, a little less than a year ago, mentioned that she worried that I might have trouble conceiving bc I have never had a scare.
My first response? "Gee, thanks Mom. I'm glad that you are SO proud of me for being responsible. I mean... I'm pretty sure that you should be HAPPY about that." (insert sarcasm here) But my second response was... "I know."
HAHAHA.